Higuey for a noob

Status
Not open for further replies.

Mi_Vida_Loco

New member
Dec 19, 2011
5
0
0
Hi everyone, after lurking through the site for some time now I have decided that it's time I ask for some advice.

Firstly, I'm glad this site exists which gives me an outlet for my questions, so thank you all in advance.
After a few trips to the Dominican Republic (Santo Domingo) I have now found myself with a serious girlfriend and we are looking for a good area of Higuey to call home.
I'm 34, Caucasian, Canadian, native English but can read/write/speak French and have been learning a lot of Spanish but I still am not to the point of feeling comfortable having a conversation in it. Fortunately her English is good enough that with my Spanish we can discuss anything but she has to do most of the Spanish negotiations. She's sharp and fast like most Dominicans so there's no issue when we work as a team.
My work schedule provides me with 1 week off per month in which I plan on spending in the Dominican.
She is from Higuey and wants to stay there where she can work, shop etc. I on the other hand don't much care where I live as long as it's not -45C and realistically only need a safe place for us.

Currently we are looking to rent until things progress. My only concerns are her safety while I am back in Canada and our safety when we are together.
I've already got her looking, but I would love to hear some input from a non-Dominican or a Dominican who has experience with sort of thing.

Thanks again
 

greydread

Platinum
Jan 3, 2007
17,477
488
83
Hi everyone, after lurking through the site for some time now I have decided that it's time I ask for some advice.

Firstly, I'm glad this site exists which gives me an outlet for my questions, so thank you all in advance.
After a few trips to the Dominican Republic (Santo Domingo) I have now found myself with a serious girlfriend and we are looking for a good area of Higuey to call home.
I'm 34, Caucasian, Canadian, native English but can read/write/speak French and have been learning a lot of Spanish but I still am not to the point of feeling comfortable having a conversation in it. Fortunately her English is good enough that with my Spanish we can discuss anything but she has to do most of the Spanish negotiations. She's sharp and fast like most Dominicans so there's no issue when we work as a team.
My work schedule provides me with 1 week off per month in which I plan on spending in the Dominican.
She is from Higuey and wants to stay there where she can work, shop etc. I on the other hand don't much care where I live as long as it's not -45C and realistically only need a safe place for us.

Currently we are looking to rent until things progress. My only concerns are her safety while I am back in Canada and our safety when we are together.
I've already got her looking, but I would love to hear some input from a non-Dominican or a Dominican who has experience with sort of thing.

Thanks again

Here's some advice: "DON'T DO IT!"

She's "sharp and fast" alright and you guys are working as a team against your best interest. Do you think the plane home will actually lift off each month before her Tigre moves back in with his sh!t and drinks up all your Presidentes while fixing the plumbing?

Let me get this straight...she's from Higuey which indicates that she knows the town well and has family and a life-long network of friends and associates there but you're "worried for her safety when you're not there"?



4193899587_f289b8760d_z.jpg
 

Jenny429

New member
Oct 10, 2005
312
0
0
I second the DONT DO IT!!!!!! You truly don't understand the culture. She's found herself a nice gringo to possibly pay for her own bachalorette Pad.. I mean.. You are ONLY going to be there 1 week out of every month.. You think that is enough to pay for a freaking place? She's living just fine with her family.. and there is NO REASON why you can't stay with them while you are visiting. The added expenses will eventually put you in a bad spot..

Look.. You two aren't married, and EVEN if you were married.. YOU are not living there fulltime. not even part-time. It's just ridiculous.. First she will want you to get an apartment for you two.. (The three weeks you aren't there, chances are HE will be) right, we know.. your chick is different.. And THEN you will need to FURNISH the apartment.. THEN you will need to pay for someone to "watch" the apartment.. most women don't like to stay alone at night in their own place.. and sure SHE will be safe while you arent there.. You really aren't thinking clearly..
 

La Rubia

Bronze
Jan 1, 2010
1,336
28
0
The safety issue

You've mentioned safety as a concern. She is presumably now safely living with her family.

Most female Dominicans of any age do not live/sleep alone. So, for example, if you were married and away three weeks of the month a trusted male family member would sleep there. Sometimes a girlfriend will come etc. So on the safety issue alone she is better off with her family.

Consider that you may be putting her at more risk by moving her away from her family and signalling to all those looking for an easy mark that one has arrived--compounded by the knowledge that she has money coming from abroad.
 

La Rubia

Bronze
Jan 1, 2010
1,336
28
0
on the playing house

"Currently we are looking to rent until things progress."

This is perfectly acceptable to you as a Canadian and to me as an American. If she is a good girl, the type that you would marry, you have ruined her reputation among Dominicans if it doesn't work out.

To her family once you've gotten that apartment, you have decided to marry her, you will be called her marido. So while you think of it as having some time to progress, she's thinking of it as a sign of committment.

So you are willing to pay for the apartment, but can only committ 1/4 of your time. So of course she's going to ask for "things" to be assured of your committment--because three weeks is along time to think about what the other is doing. And for most Dominican women, they know that men have needs, so she knows you love her but that you are also getting your needs filled. She needs something, too, and because it's not you there 24/7 the things can be her reminder.

I think if she is possibly the one for you (and you say it's getting serious so she's in the running) don't create a situation where she begins to take advantage of you because you've laid it out that way or you begin to feel resentful of being asked for things.

Start putting that money you would have spend on an apartment to save for a good down payment on a house or a move to the DR if that's what's in the cards for you. And continue visiting and doing what you are doing now, staying with friends, staying with her family, staying at hotels. Continue doing the boyfriend stuff, leave the living together for when you are actually married. (And I'm not old-fashioned, per se, just think the culture warrants it.)

Just some things to think about.

And congratulations on finding yourself with someone that you'd like to spend more time with.

Love is a good thing!
 
May 29, 2006
10,265
200
0
To her family once you've gotten that apartment, you have decided to marry her, you will be called her marido. So while you think of it as having some time to progress, she's thinking of it as a sign of committment.

That makes me wonder about the common law marriage laws in the DR. My understanding is after six months(?) sharing a common household you are de facto married. Wouldn't that entitle the esposa to half of the marido's property, including any assets back home if they split up?
 

RV429

Bronze
Apr 3, 2011
1,574
1
36
That makes me wonder about the common law marriage laws in the DR. My understanding is after six months(?) sharing a common household you are de facto married. Wouldn't that entitle the esposa to half of the marido's property, including any assets back home if they split up?

I remember reading a Guzman post saying that there is no common law marriage in the DR.

To the Op, she is safest living at home with her family. Her "Dominican friends" can visit her there in safety. DO NOT go getting apartments and furniture and stuff.
 

La Rubia

Bronze
Jan 1, 2010
1,336
28
0
That makes me wonder about the common law marriage laws in the DR. My understanding is after six months(?) sharing a common household you are de facto married. Wouldn't that entitle the esposa to half of the marido's property, including any assets back home if they split up?

I think that Mr. Guzman has said no to the common law issue.

But I think it gets complicated quickly once an unplanned pregnancy happens. Even if you have a pre-nup and are married, if she's living in the house, you come off as the schmuck if you kick her and the baby out.
 

Mi_Vida_Loco

New member
Dec 19, 2011
5
0
0
Wow. I had assumed that the help I would receive would come in the form of straight information rather than conjecture and assumptions.
The best part about the responses thus far is that they are meant to make me out to be the ill-informed because I didn't write a 10,000 word essay on my entire life and situation rather than you being the ill-informed people.
Yes, this is a facepalm moment.

Thanks for the straight answers. If anyone has some actual information, I'd like to know it.
 

Mi_Vida_Loco

New member
Dec 19, 2011
5
0
0
Sorry, La Rubia, you're not lumped in with the others. Safety is the large concern. And your mention of single women living alone is the exact reason why I inquire about this in the first place. She works in Santo Domingo and stays with friends while working there and spends anywhere from 3 days to 2 weeks in her own apt in Higuey. She's from La Romana but likes Higuey.
Her church, friends, shopping and doscos she likes are all there. Her happiness and safety are my primary concerns.
Her Apt is small and in a very Dominican neighbourhood. I'd hate to have something happen to her because nosy neighbours know she is never home. As for the racism, in case some of you don't know, there's plenty of Italians living in Higuey. I'm bilingual French and my spanish accent rivals any latino. So cram your gringo talk.
If most of you took your heads from your rear ends long enough, you might also learn something about your own towns/cities that you didn't know about. I've lived in Vancouver for the past 5 years and still learn new things about it all the time so is it so out of your grasp of reality that she may not know everything about everything?
Sheesh..
 

SKing

Silver
Nov 22, 2007
3,750
183
63
So she's been living fine so far without someone robbing her, beating her up, etc. But now that you cone along....there's a safety issue? Really? Yeah, YOU are the safety issue.
She will now definitely be robbed.
Well known chica in town all of a sudden gets a fancy apt with some white dude visiting once a month? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out

SHALENA
 

greydread

Platinum
Jan 3, 2007
17,477
488
83
So she's been living fine so far without someone robbing her, beating her up, etc. But now that you cone along....there's a safety issue? Really? Yeah, YOU are the safety issue.
She will now definitely be robbed.
Well known chica in town all of a sudden gets a fancy apt with some white dude visiting once a month? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out

SHALENA

Here's the unperplexing part; He met her on several trips to SANTO DOMINGO and has probably never been to Higuey.

You can't make this sh!t up. This guy wants to get caught up in the long game with everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain like a lamb walking the streets of Wolftown looking for a "hookup". I've been to Higuey and I didn't see a "nice" part of town. It's a hustling, bustling little commodities exchange hub and all the people there are...well...hustling and bustling. Granted, I didn't get very far away from the downtown area but I got the distinct impression that if there was a "Chicago" in the D.R. it would be in Higuey. There's absolutely nothing there of interest to a tourist and I can just imagine a week a Month sitting in her little apartment, in between meeting her "cousins" and taking her shopping and paying the rent and thinking he's got a sweet relationship going he'll be watching novelas in Spanish on TV and sweating his b@lls off and trying to understand WTF she's saying and what they're gibbering about on the TV......
...sounds like Dante's "Inferno" in Spanish.

She wasn't in Santo Domingo not doing anything and it's been my experience (considerable) that "good Girls" don't leave home for the big city by themselves to keep on being "good Girls". I'm just saying.....
 

SKing

Silver
Nov 22, 2007
3,750
183
63
Here's the unperplexing part; He met her on several trips to SANTO DOMINGO and has probably never been to Higuey.

You can't make this sh!t up. This guy wants to get caught up in the long game with everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain like a lamb walking the streets of Wolftown looking for a "hookup". I've been to Higuey and I didn't see a "nice" part of town. It's a hustling, bustling little commodities exchange hub and all the people there are...well...hustling and bustling. Granted, I didn't get very far away from the downtown area but I got the distinct impression that if there was a "Chicago" in the D.R. it would be in Higuey. There's absolutely nothing there of interest to a tourist and I can just imagine a week a Month sitting in her little apartment, in between meeting her "cousins" and taking her shopping and paying the rent and thinking he's got a sweet relationship going he'll be watching novelas in Spanish on TV and sweating his b@lls off and trying to understand WTF she's saying and what they're gibbering about on the TV......
...sounds like Dante's "Inferno" in Spanish.

She wasn't in Santo Domingo not doing anything and it's been my experience (considerable) that "good Girls" don't leave home for the big city by themselves to keep on being "good Girls". I'm just saying.....

On Point, but of course, we know nothing.....and even if she's not robbed, he has made it very clear to us (and most likely to her) that he is concerned for her safety, thereby setting the foundation for the inevitable phone call he will receive within 2 weeks of renting the apt and furnishing it....."Mi Amorrrrrrr, me robaron!" whereby he will need to send asap at least 25,000rd to get her to stop crying...............................

SHALENA
 

KateP

Silver
May 28, 2004
2,845
6
38
Here's the unperplexing part; He met her on several trips to SANTO DOMINGO and has probably never been to Higuey.

You can't make this sh!t up. This guy wants to get caught up in the long game with everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain like a lamb walking the streets of Wolftown looking for a "hookup". I've been to Higuey and I didn't see a "nice" part of town. It's a hustling, bustling little commodities exchange hub and all the people there are...well...hustling and bustling. Granted, I didn't get very far away from the downtown area but I got the distinct impression that if there was a "Chicago" in the D.R. it would be in Higuey. There's absolutely nothing there of interest to a tourist and I can just imagine a week a Month sitting in her little apartment, in between meeting her "cousins" and taking her shopping and paying the rent and thinking he's got a sweet relationship going he'll be watching novelas in Spanish on TV and sweating his b@lls off and trying to understand WTF she's saying and what they're gibbering about on the TV......
...sounds like Dante's "Inferno" in Spanish.

She wasn't in Santo Domingo not doing anything and it's been my experience (considerable) that "good Girls" don't leave home for the big city by themselves to keep on being "good Girls". I'm just saying.....

Cruel and very to the point and I unfortunately have to agree with you. Higuey is not a place I would recommend for a foreigner to live and the only way his gf would be "safe" would be if she weren't seen with him.
 

greydread

Platinum
Jan 3, 2007
17,477
488
83
Cruel and very to the point and I unfortunately have to agree with you. Higuey is not a place I would recommend for a foreigner to live and the only way his gf would be "safe" would be if she weren't seen with him.

I know guys who actually tried what the OP is suggesting. It ain't pretty and I would be wrong to tap dance around the subject.

There's a disease out there which I refer to as "Dominicangitis". I am not a doctor and I don't know if it's air borne, water borne or an STD but I've seen it bring strong, smart, well-to-do and independent Men and Women to their knees after only one exposure. I also don't know if it's a bacteria or a virus but I do know that it feeds on logic and its appetite is voracious.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.