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  1. #1
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    Default The Godparent Trap

    Good Morning, The posters here who have real life experience in the DR know exactly what I am referring to. It has been my experience that this does not only apply to foreigners but that it has long been a tradition among most segments of society to name the wealthiest/most connected person to be the Godparent of a new baby in order to try and secure some benefit. I think that the only wrinkles that are foreigner specific is the relatively short time of aquaintance and the subsequent requests for financial support that are insisted on.

  2. #2
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    "Been There,Done That"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You are 1000% On-the-Money!
    It is just a more sophisticated version of,"Mi Madre Esta Interna y necesito dinero"!
    I tell them I don't believe in God,USUALLY that works.Sometimes you just say "No Gracias",I Can't.Cris Colon

  3. #3
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    Absolutely!! Years ago it was asking Trujillo to be the god father so as to "protect" the family...

    You nailed that one....

    HB
    Moderator DR1.com

  4. #4
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    I am godmother to several children, American and Haitian. My contract with them is thus.. "Thank you so much for the honor of appointing me as a spiritual guide for your children. Please understand that due to the requirements of my own blood family, I will not be able to contribute financially to the upkeep of your child. However, I will remember him/her in my nightly discussions with the Great Spirit. I also promise, that should you drop your mortal coil, I will see to it that the child is placed in competent hands from within his blood relatives. Also, since I am not a practicing Christian, I will not be able to attend any sort of religious ceremonies, nor is it within my tradition to give gifts. Again thank you so very much for this honor."

    I think that every foreigner here should consider this sort of arrangement with 6 or 7 of the ONE HALF of the population that is under 18..
    One Domnican young woman whom I know has FIVE women that she considers MOTHER

    now, maybe this is just the difference between

    the Fairy Godmother

    and the\

    Godfather

  5. #5
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    It would be better for all concerned to,"Just-Say-No"!
    That way they could move on to the next "Cash Cow" in the line.
    You could still offer to "help",just nothing formal.
    CC

  6. #6
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    My wife and I are god parents to one girl, who is now 13. We bring her clothing and shoes, same as we do her sisters. We have never, so far, been asked for any money. I will be bringing her a new volleyball because she is lives to play volleyball. We may help her with university at that time, but as her parents are not particularly poor, that may not be required. The mother has been known to my wife since her high school years and the father's family since before he was born.

  7. #7
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    The OP is right...but it's pretty rude to say No to these things. If someone asks you it's because they consider you a good friend. Best is to say you'll be "Padrino de Agua" who doesn't have the same responsibilities as the actual godfather and you're still a Compadre / Comadre.

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  9. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by suarezn View Post
    The OP is right...but it's pretty rude to say No to these things. If someone asks you it's because they consider you a good friend. Best is to say you'll be "Padrino de Agua" who doesn't have the same responsibilities as the actual godfather and you're still a Compadre / Comadre.
    I agree with you if you have known the family for years and you actually consider them to be good friends as well then the "Padrino de Agua" could be a very good option.

    But I don't think it is rude to say no if the relationship is a casual one or you haven't known them for years and have a solid established relationship that has stood the test of time. They are being rude and trying to manipulate you so why would it be rude to say no?

    IMO - If they would not come up on my own personal top 50 (or even top 100) list of perspective godparents for my own children then I would say that you can say no graciously without feeling rude while avoiding "the godparent trap".

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  11. #9
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    I accepted to be godparent to my wifes Brothers son, he has a job, works all day, always has, doesn't drink, never accepts anything and always either pays or demands 50/50 when we go out with him and his. I declined her sister as she is young, has no job, has an asshole boyfriend, she will mount to nothing.
    Use your intelligence, it is not good to decline every instance, if you can't spot a genuine request from a sponging advance then you will not make many real friends in the country.
    But in general, knock back people who don't have decent or no jobs, or if you hardly even know them which is quite common so I hear.

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  13. #10
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    It is a serious business:
    When I was a godparent I kept money in a reserve account to cope with any situation; also bought presents for birthdays etc.
    My godfather financially and otherwise assisted my family when trouble struck. I tried to repay by a christmas hamper each year in his old age.
    One of my neighbors died along with his wife in a road accident ; the godparents ended up fostering the chidlren for 5 years or so till they were 16 and could look after themselves.
    I try to think of those, now dead, who donated food etc. to my family; If you are not in the position to really make a 1 - 15 year committment don,t. Give something on a regular basis.

    pi2



    Quote Originally Posted by Givadogahome View Post
    I accepted to be godparent to my wifes Brothers son, he has a job, works all day, always has, doesn't drink, never accepts anything and always either pays or demands 50/50 when we go out with him and his. I declined her sister as she is young, has no job, has an asshole boyfriend, she will mount to nothing.
    Use your intelligence, it is not good to decline every instance, if you can't spot a genuine request from a sponging advance then you will not make many real friends in the country.
    But in general, knock back people who don't have decent or no jobs, or if you hardly even know them which is quite common so I hear.

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