I had this in the Clown Bin but i decided to modify and expand on these rules:
Dominican rules to live by, Part 1:
1.)Never ask a Dominican for a cure for a cold unless you want to get drunk on rum, honey, and lime.
2.)Never get angry at a Dominican for cutting you off in the road; wreckless driving is part of the driving culture.
3.)Never take a Dominican lawyer to court to try and defeat another Dominican lawyer.
4.)Never walk home drunk and alone after midnight...unless your pockets are completely empty.
5.)Never agree to store anyone's property on your property without documentation.
6.)Never call a cop because a hooker has your money or cell phone in her hand, and refuses to give it back.
7.)Never use an ATM machine alone after midnight, and if the ATM eats your card, walk away. do not re-type your pin number into the ATM machine.
8.)Never tell a Dominican girl the combo to your safe, and then leave for vacation.
9.)Never live in a non-secure, remote area where either a truck or donkey cart can comfortably pull up to your house while you?re on vacation.
10.)Never go into the car rental business with a Dominican. His whole family will use the cars and none will be available to rent to customers.
11.)Never buy a Dominican girl something very expensive and assume she?ll appreciate its value.
Never make direct eye-contact with a Dominican girl sitting at the bar alone.
12.Never get into a bar fight with a Dominican.They will grab the nearest rock, coconut, or beer bottle to even the odds.
13.Never pay attention to a Dominican speed limit sign, red light, or traffic cop.
14.Never leave a drink on the bar next to a hooker to use the bathroom.
15.Never allow yourself to be persuaded by sanky you just met in a bar, to go to another bar out of the way.
16.Never allow yourself to be coerced into buying drinks for a Sanky, a working girl, a donkey, and all of their friends, and friend's-friends.
17.Never allow yourself to be persuaded to go home with a Sanky or donkey.
18.Never take a Dominican girl home that squats down and urinates in the street.
19.)Never take a Dominican girl home who insists on urinating over your balcony railing.
<o</o20.)Never take a Dominican girl home who insists on urinating into your kitchen sink while dirty dishes still lay in the sink.
21.)Never make direct eye-contact with a beach or street vendor.
22.)Never make direct eye-contact with a street dog.
<o</o23.)Never make direct eye-contact with a toothless street hooker.
<o</o24.)Never make direct eye-contact with a stray donkey.
25.)Never take a stray donkey home.
26.)Never try and convert a street donkey into something it is not.
27.)Never expect the advertised price of something to be the final price.
28.)Never assume a Dominican girl or boy doesn't have a boyfriend just because they tell you so.
29.)Never give money to a Dominican who claims to represent a charity. In fact, never give money to a Dominican and assume that it will go to a charity.
30.)If a street vendor or hooker tells you its happy hour, don?t assume you?ll end up very happy.
31.)Never try to turn an uneducated, drug using, lesbian, kitchen-sink-urinating hooker into a sophisticated girlfriend. It never works. Pretty Woman was just a movie.
Frank
Dominican rules to live by, Part 1:
1.)Never ask a Dominican for a cure for a cold unless you want to get drunk on rum, honey, and lime.
2.)Never get angry at a Dominican for cutting you off in the road; wreckless driving is part of the driving culture.
3.)Never take a Dominican lawyer to court to try and defeat another Dominican lawyer.
4.)Never walk home drunk and alone after midnight...unless your pockets are completely empty.
5.)Never agree to store anyone's property on your property without documentation.
6.)Never call a cop because a hooker has your money or cell phone in her hand, and refuses to give it back.
7.)Never use an ATM machine alone after midnight, and if the ATM eats your card, walk away. do not re-type your pin number into the ATM machine.
8.)Never tell a Dominican girl the combo to your safe, and then leave for vacation.
9.)Never live in a non-secure, remote area where either a truck or donkey cart can comfortably pull up to your house while you?re on vacation.
10.)Never go into the car rental business with a Dominican. His whole family will use the cars and none will be available to rent to customers.
11.)Never buy a Dominican girl something very expensive and assume she?ll appreciate its value.
Never make direct eye-contact with a Dominican girl sitting at the bar alone.
12.Never get into a bar fight with a Dominican.They will grab the nearest rock, coconut, or beer bottle to even the odds.
13.Never pay attention to a Dominican speed limit sign, red light, or traffic cop.
14.Never leave a drink on the bar next to a hooker to use the bathroom.
15.Never allow yourself to be persuaded by sanky you just met in a bar, to go to another bar out of the way.
16.Never allow yourself to be coerced into buying drinks for a Sanky, a working girl, a donkey, and all of their friends, and friend's-friends.
17.Never allow yourself to be persuaded to go home with a Sanky or donkey.
18.Never take a Dominican girl home that squats down and urinates in the street.
19.)Never take a Dominican girl home who insists on urinating over your balcony railing.
<o</o20.)Never take a Dominican girl home who insists on urinating into your kitchen sink while dirty dishes still lay in the sink.
21.)Never make direct eye-contact with a beach or street vendor.
22.)Never make direct eye-contact with a street dog.
<o</o23.)Never make direct eye-contact with a toothless street hooker.
<o</o24.)Never make direct eye-contact with a stray donkey.
25.)Never take a stray donkey home.
26.)Never try and convert a street donkey into something it is not.
27.)Never expect the advertised price of something to be the final price.
28.)Never assume a Dominican girl or boy doesn't have a boyfriend just because they tell you so.
29.)Never give money to a Dominican who claims to represent a charity. In fact, never give money to a Dominican and assume that it will go to a charity.
30.)If a street vendor or hooker tells you its happy hour, don?t assume you?ll end up very happy.
31.)Never try to turn an uneducated, drug using, lesbian, kitchen-sink-urinating hooker into a sophisticated girlfriend. It never works. Pretty Woman was just a movie.
Frank