Funeral in DR

AlterEgo

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
23,069
6,216
113
South Coast
My 91 yr old mother-in-law died late Friday night in Santo Domingo, about 9 pm, and was at Blandino's Funeral Home by 8 am on Saturday. She wore a special white burial dress. Women prayed the rosary several times. All day wake, Mass there at the funeral home at 2, at 3 we were off to the cemetery [Cristo Redentor in SD] for burial in a downpour. The cemetery is massive, reminds me of St. John's Cemetery on the Bklyn/Queens border, streets with names and all. They had a tent with chairs set up, very efficient, carved granite plaque all ready. Several women [family and friends] singing songs saying goodbye.

I was impressed with the efficiency of everything for the deceased - everything quick and accurate. So unlike most everything else I've experienced over the past 4 decades in DR.

So many things so different from the US. They started to close the casket in front of everyone without prior comment. I jumped up and asked them to wait so we could all say our last goodbyes. Then the lid was slowly closed. I'm accustomed to NY, where they either wait for everyone to leave, or at least turn the casket around before closing the lid. And it took about 3 months before my mother's info was engraved on the granite headstone. Here it was done within 12 hours.

At the cemetery, they slide the casket into the slot, [a special floral piece from her children was placed on top of the coffin], place the cement block in front and seal it, then cement in the granite plaque. Again, a cultural thing. I've never seen a coffin lowered into a grave or mausoleum while the family watches in NY.

Beginning Sunday morning, our vecinos/neighbors in the campo started coming to our house to pay their respects to my husband, who was very touched by their warmth and sincerity. Many women wore all white cotton blouse & skirt sets [reminded me of battenberg]. They were unable to come to the funeral in Santo Domingo because of the distance - few of them have cars. There has been no music heard here anywhere since she died, one dear old friend of hers has forbidden her family to even use the TV.

Sunday night at 6 pm started the first of 9 nights of Novena Masses for her. On next Monday night [9th day] there will be a gathering after the last Mass for family and friends in Santo Domingo. Because all of our neighbors out in the campo [where we have our house] have known her for 60-70 years, we're hosting a similar gathering for them on Sunday at our house. There will be prayers, and if it's like others out here, tamboras.

Another thing that surprised me is that she had insurance for the funeral. Don't think I've ever heard of that before. Even without the insurance, the cost was surprisingly low, about $1300/US.

Rest in Peace Dona Maria.
 

jrjrth

Bronze
Mar 24, 2011
782
1
0
AE...so sorry for your lose, my warmest of condolences to you and the family...

~As I read your post I can feel the warmth that has been bestowed for your mother in law.
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
5,485
338
63
Nice post AE - good to know that the DR does something well! And condolences too.

Matilda
 

jad604

Member
Nov 17, 2011
173
0
16
My condolences to you as well. May your abuela rest in peace. Thank you for sharing. You described an excellent service and warmth of your grandparents neighbors.
 

Softail

New member
Nov 15, 2011
128
0
0
Condolences, but what a touching telling of the rituals, reminds me a bit of old Irish Catholic traditions.....let's hope some of these reverent traditions survive.
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
Like I told you before, this is done so differently here. I am happy that you posted this.

HB
 

AlterEgo

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
23,069
6,216
113
South Coast
Like I told you before, this is done so differently here. I am happy that you posted this.

HB

Yes, very different. One thing I forgot to mention. At the funeral they gave out prayer cards with her name imprinted on the back, the same way it's done in the US. In addition, the family is printing up another card with her photo on it, which will be given out at the 9th day novena/get-together. Have never seen that before. They asked me to choose a photo from my computer, this is the one we're using, taken at our house last year.

DSC00118.JPG
 

belmont

Bronze
Oct 9, 2009
1,536
10
0
Not so different than an orthodox Jewish funeral in NJ. My mother died 11PM. Within 20 minutes the funeral director came to the house to transport her to the funeral home. An orthodox woman volunteer sat with her body until they prepared her for burial in the morning. A group of elder woman volunteers from her congregation bathed and dressed her. The funeral was noon that day. At the cemetary, all those in attendance took turns filling in the grave (considered a good deed to assist in the burial). Then a week of mourning was observed in the family home with prayor services twice daily. The stresses to the family were greatly reduced as few decisions had to be made. No need to choose a casket (plain pine casket), no viewing or wake. Simple, but respectful.
 

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
death is just about the only thing in DR that is taken care of with surprising efficiency. i have patricipated in three funerals here: miesposo's abuelos and his tia. all organized within hours from death.
in poland funeral is very serious, sad and... well... boring affair. DR is very different. in all three cases the family gathered in funeraria puerto plata. some prayed in a small room where coffin was displayed. people rotated so that everyone had time and opportunity to say last goodbyes. outside people talked about the diseased, remembering funny stories, sharing memories. few cried. most were calm, saying the dead one was "with jesus" now, that they had good life.
since i am from outside the family, so to speak, i made my rounds talking to everyone, giving hugs, holding hands. there is so little one can do to console others. sometimes just beeing there is what counts.
after funeral house the crowd moved to the local cemetery. the streets were closed and traffic directed by the police to allow funeral to pass.
putting the coffin inside the mausoleum in POP is quite a spectacle itself, i have to say. the cemetry is small and all graves are so close to each other it takes a certain amount of casket gymnastics to put the diseased to the final rest. as soon as the builders step in to cement the entrance the funeral is over.
 

belgiank

Silver
Jun 13, 2009
3,251
103
0
I think funerals are beautiful here... the respect shown by the community, the way people who have no idea who it is when the funeral passes by, but still pay their respects... the way they stay behind the funeral caravan, or coming from the other direction drive by it very slowly with the music turned off...

It is a time (9 days) in which family and friends gather to remember and celebrate the deceased, everybody brings some food or something to drink. It is difficult to describe it... but somehow it is a sad and joyfull occasion at the same time, it is more a celebration of the deceased than a mourning...

The way poorer families have a photo blown up and pasted on a ceramic tile...

My condolences to you and your family...

BelgianK