THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY

I HAVE BEEN READING SOME OF THE MESSAGES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS INVOVLING DOMININCAN MEN & WOMEN TOURISTS. I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A DOMININCAN MAN WHO HAS NEITHER ASKED OR TAKEN ANYTHING FROM ME. THERE IS GOOD AND BAD IN EVERY CULTURE AND PEOPLE MUST JUDGE FOR THEMSELVES WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD. ALTHOUGH MY RELATIONSHIP IS FAIRLY NEW (11MONTH) I HAVE BEEN SHOWN NOTHING BUT KINDNESS AND HOSPITALITY FROM MY BOYFRIEND AND HIS FAMILY. ANYBODY WHO HAS EVER VISITED THE DOMINICAN WILL KNOW HOW HARD LIFE CAN BE AND THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WHO I HAVE MET IN DR HAVE BEEN GENUINE AND VERY KIND.

Youv've been real lucky

Just be careful and don't trust any man from the DR.Remember that you have something to offer that he doesn't have-VISA. You should be on the lookout for potential changes in his behaviour esp. when it comes time to the eventual reality.

I am a Domincan male who had the fortune of being born into a family that provided for evrything. I also have seen many foreign men and women in your situation who have started out happy only to end up crushed emotionally anddistraught.I am asking you to be aware. You must understand that the crushing poverty you have witnessed in the DR makes those people do things which are morally wrong.Yet in their eyes its called survival.

Who knows for sure but your man might be the rare one which truly loves you.This is not the norm though.I 've seen things that would horrify anyone. The level of deception that occurs in the DR is appalling. Please be careful.Many of these people have foreign boyfriends and girlfriends to milk them and then spend it with their real love.

Always look at all the options. Remember that he might be sizing you up and finding the opportune time to strike.Then the money and goods will start pouring out from you. I can't say for sure because I don't know him but think anything is possible.

Even I am careful but I have my family to tell me who's who.

I'll finish with a saying in Spanish. Amor de lejo amor de pendejo.

Re: Youv've been real lucky

onions & carrots thanks for your honesty. What sort of things have you seen??????????

Re: Youv've been real lucky

Lets put it like this:
if this guy of yours was a dancer or other activity department employee in your hotel (where you were vacationing at) then be careful. Those guys are very sweet talkers and trained to accommodate the guests; to satisfy their every need.
Those guys, usually, have more than one girlfriend in all over the world. Those same girls provide them with gifts ex: expensive clothes, watches and of-course money to keep them in style. I am telling you that from personal experience because I have many friends working in the hotel industry and can't tell you how many times I had to write letters for them (in english)to their various girlfriends from all over the world. A lot of these guys are already married and have kids from more than one local girl. These guys are well educated in the game plan of what it takes to get out of this country by marrying a foreign girl. For ex: they know that a guy or a girl would have to behave really good for atleast 2 years after the first day of marriage to get the permanent green card. Any screw up before 2 years can jeopardize their whole game plan as you can walk out on him and not show up for the immigration interviews.
So if you have met this guy in a disco or in a bar then you must be very careful of him. Check to see what type of a job does he have. Does he make enough income to support himself and his family (they usually live with their parents and younger siblings). How much education does he have? Investigate whether he is married or has any children.
based on his education and his current habits, try to imagine what type of a job would he be able to hold in USA or where-ever you might move to.
The bottom line is this: just because he is a nice guy does not mean he would be a good husband. You must do your home-work before you become more serious with any guy.
I have seem many marriages which didn't last more than 2 years which is needed to get the permanent green card. However, i have seen marriages which have worked just fine (dominican man and foreign women); ex: the dom. male is a doctor and from a very respectable family and the female is an educated canadian. I know them both and they are a very happy couple.
There are more of success cases between dominican women and foreign male than visa versa.
My advice is this: not all dominican men are bad and tricky, you would have to do the home-work in details before you get involved deeply.
Good luck.

Re: Youv've been real lucky

Siena, Dominican men are notorious for being unfaithful. Here in the US a poll was taking where 70 percent of men went out on their wives, in the DR it's about 99.99 percent. There are brothels in every town, ther are women readly availiable in avery bar.A Dominican man does not have to stay out overnight he can get something at the side in one hour, and they are very sneaky about it.

Actually Sienna, your post is a magnet

for Fatherly advice. Even me, the ol' hillbilly, have to agree with most of what was posted here.
You might be lucky...you might be...
good luck
HB

Re: Actually Sienna, your post is a magnet

Sienna:
Every posting I have read regarding your situation is right. So put together the pieces and smartly make your own conclusions.
But, always err on the right side. So if it helps you, let me say that if you want a Dominican man, and I dont blame you, we are GREATTTTT!!! but be sure to get one who has no need to go to the United States or abroad, who is financially better than you are and can get a green card easily, who owns his house or apartment, who owns a good car,who has excellent credit, then you will only have to worry about... the other women!

It is better to simply lose the man to another woman.... and not your wallet along with it. By the way I qualify, but sorry I am taken. ha! ha! no serious...good luck and good hunting.

Re: Balancing the scales...

Gentlemen: For all of your collective wisdom and street savvy you seem to have fallen for the "damsel in distress trick" (page 45 in the Book of Life).

All of your posts seem to assume that this Sienna is a perfect women with full entitlement to a perfect man. None of you know anything about her. However, that doens't stop you from feeling fatherly toward her and of warning her about the caveats of relationships with that untamed species known as the "Dominican Man".

How do you know that maybe (JUST MAYBE) it should not be the other way around? But if you know that as a fact just by looking at her nick on a message board then I have a job for you on the Psychic Hotline that I will be opening soon. It seems that there are plenty of fresh recruits here.

With that being noted, I will say that anybody that thinks that women in general nowadays are scoring a couple of decimal points higher that your average dominican male/visa predator in the morality/values scales should be getting out from that rock where they are and see the light.

JUST FOR SIENNA:

These guys didn't say anything to you that you could not have heard from your mother. But the following piece of information is
one to be found rarely on this most acrimonious board:

AN ELEGIBLE DOMINICAN MALE (MR RIGHT OR SOMETHING AROUND THAT PROVINCE) WILL PREFER TO MARRY A DOMINICAN WOMAN TO A FOREIGNER MORE TIMES THAN NO. IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY THEN YOU NEED SOME RESEARCH TO DO BEFORE GOING FOR THE PINATA.

I rest my case.

Re: Balancing the scales...

then they should learn to be more open-minded....

do not put everybody in the same patern..i know several dominican man married with canadian woman..(we are probably all lucky!!!!) and after 10 -12 or 15 years together they still in love and happy..i think we should remember that: we need to be 2 persons in a couple..in my family we are 3 women..all married.. one with a musulman(since 30 years)..me with a dominican(15 years) and the other one married a guy from the village where we were born..and this one divorced after 4 years..to get married between same culture it is not a garanty of succes..
also don't ask to your domincan man to be the only person in the couple to make some change and adaptation..make also your move..a succesfull union based on 2 persons who loves each other without opinion from a board (almost just man answered to your posted siena, don't you think there is a beat of frustration somewhere?) follow your heart.you won't do worst than others...it is a nice risk a DOMINICAN MAN>..sorry for my englihs