Terrorists

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Docopac

New member
Feb 23, 2006
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The other day as I was driving into town I ran into a huge traffic jam. I sat there for more than an hour without moving an inch. Finlay a guy came up and knocked on my window, I rolled it down and asked what the problem was and why the traffic was jammed so badly. He told me President Obama, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, & Harry Reid had been taken hostage by a terrorist group. They were demanding 10 million dollars in ransom or they would be doused with gasoline and set on fire. I thought for a minute, but decided I must do my civic duty and pitch in for the ransom. I asked "what is the average motorist was donating to the pot?"

He said "about a gallon" :classic:
 
bob saunders

bob saunders

Platinum
Jan 1, 2002
32,562
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dr1.com
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, ?What are all those clocks??

St. Peter answered, ?Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.?

?Oh,? said the man, ?Whose clock is that??
?That?s Billy Graham?s. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie.?

?Incredible,? said the man, ?And whose clock is that one?? St. Peter responded, ?That's Abraham Lincoln?s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire Life.?

?Where?s Obama?s clock?? asked the man.

?Obama's clock is in Jesus? office. He?s using it as a ceiling fan.?
 
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Softail

New member
Nov 15, 2011
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Javier Bardem for President of USA - can you imagine Penelope Cruz as first lady?

And for the love of the baby Jesus, why do we limit US presidential candidates to US citizens only - do we really think no better candidates can found in other countries?
 
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pollogringo

Gold
Dec 26, 2011
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Softail said:
Javier Bardem for President of USA - can you imagine Penelope Cruz as first lady?

And for the love of the baby Jesus, why do we limit US presidential candidates to US citizens only - do we really think no better candidates can found in other countries?
Click to expand...

8 pounds 6 ounces baby Jesus, new born, not even spoken a word yet?
 
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1000an

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Nov 28, 2007
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Einstein died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he was told: Yes, you look alot like Einstein, but I'm sorry, everybody wants to come in here so you must prove that you are Einstein! So he says: OK, hand me that wooden board and a chalk and he writes a complicated mathematical formula on it. St. Peter says: Yes, you are a genious, welcome! Than comes Picasso, and St. Peter says: Yes you look alot like Picasso but I'm sorry, everybody wants to come in, you have to prove it like Einstein did, so Picasso says: Hand me that wooden board and a chalk and he draws something beautiful on it and St. Peter says: Yes, you are a real artist, welcome! So comes Ipolito Mejia and St. Peter says: Yes you look alot like Ipolito but I'm sorry, everybody wants to come in, you have to prove it like Einstein and Picasso did. So Ipolito says: Who are they? And St. Peter replies: Welcome Ipolito!
 
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