I have lived here for 8 years and something happened the other day that brought up all my frustration with a certain type of behavior I and some of my ex-pat friends have experienced. I do see the funny side of course and I do in most try to be tolerant of it because after all I am in their country, but at times I could quite happily throttle some of them. I am sure some of you have some similar stories to the following:-
1) Just recently I was contacted by my sister-in-law saying she would like to throw me a baby shower, but could i please bring the food and drink. I though that was a bit funny but the thought was there to do something nice for me and I of course said yes as they dont have alot of money. Anyway we went and passed a ok afternoon, most of those that where invited were family that i know quite well. I was actually quite surprised to receive presents from them, nothing grand but booties, blankets, socks and clothes most of all very sweet. At the end of the day all the women were sorting all the presents and putting them in different piles, they were then divided against all the women with small babies and they took them home!! I didnt so much as get a pair of socks!! Is this normal???
2)My husbands niece told me she was pregnant and having a girl and did I have any of my daughters old things she had grown out of, I said I was sorry but my daughter was now 3 years old and all the baby stuff I had for her I had already given away to people already and had only saved the larger items such as beds, prams and high chairs for the future, but alas all the clothes had gone. A week later i received a text asking when she could come a pick all the "big" stuff up, I said i didnt understand and she reminded me that I had said I only had the big stuff left and no clothes. I explained I think she had got the wrong end of the stick and that yes I had those items left but i didnt say she could have them as we may have more children and sorry if i misled her. She whined and moaned and huffed and puffed, until i eventually said she could have the cot as actually it was time my daughter went in a proper bed and allthough it cost me alot of money I felt as though i should help (Am such a soft touch).
She sent her brother to pick it up in his truck, I also sent the mattress,sheets, blankets, bumper cushion and matress protector with it. I recieved no thank you phonecall or even a text message, allthough she did visit a week later and said with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp..."You didnt send the mosquito net!!" :speechles
3) My husbands mum and dad decided living in the country was too isolating and now they are in their mid seventies moving nearer all their children in the town of Higuey was better for them. We had a large spare room with en-suite at the time and it was offered to them which they gladly accepted. We spent a fortune on new bed, curtains, towels, fans, television, linens, pillows...you name it, we bought it. Anyway after about 3 months Dad decided he missed the country and his friends and also felt he was in top physical condition anymore as he was being too lazy and they wanted to go back. No problem, we just wanted them to be happy. The truck came and I let my husband and the family get on with loading all their bits a bobs and after they had left I went to clean the room and strip the beds etc....well the room was empty, not so much as a curtain pole was left in the room!! I called my husband and he laughed at me when I expressed my dismay, he said "Baby,No they didnt ask, but they are my parents, they dont have too"
Would love to hear of any similar stories just to maybe assure me I am not alone or just plain uptight!
Is being white a good enough reason for people to do this, can we say "oh but they just dont know any better" and that be a good enough reason??
1) Just recently I was contacted by my sister-in-law saying she would like to throw me a baby shower, but could i please bring the food and drink. I though that was a bit funny but the thought was there to do something nice for me and I of course said yes as they dont have alot of money. Anyway we went and passed a ok afternoon, most of those that where invited were family that i know quite well. I was actually quite surprised to receive presents from them, nothing grand but booties, blankets, socks and clothes most of all very sweet. At the end of the day all the women were sorting all the presents and putting them in different piles, they were then divided against all the women with small babies and they took them home!! I didnt so much as get a pair of socks!! Is this normal???
2)My husbands niece told me she was pregnant and having a girl and did I have any of my daughters old things she had grown out of, I said I was sorry but my daughter was now 3 years old and all the baby stuff I had for her I had already given away to people already and had only saved the larger items such as beds, prams and high chairs for the future, but alas all the clothes had gone. A week later i received a text asking when she could come a pick all the "big" stuff up, I said i didnt understand and she reminded me that I had said I only had the big stuff left and no clothes. I explained I think she had got the wrong end of the stick and that yes I had those items left but i didnt say she could have them as we may have more children and sorry if i misled her. She whined and moaned and huffed and puffed, until i eventually said she could have the cot as actually it was time my daughter went in a proper bed and allthough it cost me alot of money I felt as though i should help (Am such a soft touch).
She sent her brother to pick it up in his truck, I also sent the mattress,sheets, blankets, bumper cushion and matress protector with it. I recieved no thank you phonecall or even a text message, allthough she did visit a week later and said with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp..."You didnt send the mosquito net!!" :speechles
3) My husbands mum and dad decided living in the country was too isolating and now they are in their mid seventies moving nearer all their children in the town of Higuey was better for them. We had a large spare room with en-suite at the time and it was offered to them which they gladly accepted. We spent a fortune on new bed, curtains, towels, fans, television, linens, pillows...you name it, we bought it. Anyway after about 3 months Dad decided he missed the country and his friends and also felt he was in top physical condition anymore as he was being too lazy and they wanted to go back. No problem, we just wanted them to be happy. The truck came and I let my husband and the family get on with loading all their bits a bobs and after they had left I went to clean the room and strip the beds etc....well the room was empty, not so much as a curtain pole was left in the room!! I called my husband and he laughed at me when I expressed my dismay, he said "Baby,No they didnt ask, but they are my parents, they dont have too"
Would love to hear of any similar stories just to maybe assure me I am not alone or just plain uptight!
Is being white a good enough reason for people to do this, can we say "oh but they just dont know any better" and that be a good enough reason??
