Do Dominican women make good mothers?

dominican mothers

Givadogahome said:

Spin off alert

Well they churn them out, but are they any good at the after care?

Discuss!



(For the purpose of this discussion I will allow some generalization, but lets not get all JMB on this and start proclaiming all Dominican mothers would sell their kids for a few grand.)

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Sorry I am not GENERALIZING.........however, from what I see, they have many kids to get $ from the fathers, but they let everyone elso look after them, so they can enjoy life as if they don't have a care in the world.....

If you are the mothers child you're fine.
Go to school whenever you like or NOT!
Rob the fridge whenever you want!

Being the mother is hard, being the father of the Not your kids is very HARD!
But forever in love with mi esposa
She treats me like one of her kids and BETTER

I don't know a single Dominican who doesn't adore his/her mother, some most be doing something right.

Seriously, this belongs in the clown bin.

Undoubtedly you are really asking "Are Dominican women worthy of being mother to our gringo children"?

Givadogahome said:

Spin off alert

(For the purpose of this discussion I will allow some generalization, but lets not get all JMB on this and start proclaiming all Dominican mothers would sell their kids for a few grand.)

Click to expand...

Congratulations on appointing yourself a moderator

There's something that bothers me every time I see it. And I see it a lot around here. Mothers who hire nanas to look after their children. Not only at home, but when they go out, too. You see nanas in restaurants helping little children with their food while their mothers talk to their friends. You see nanas in stores running after little kids so they won't make a mess while their moms do their shopping. You see nanas walking with kids in parks and malls, while their mothers have a nice day out. A little help at home doesn't bother me, but leaving all the work of raising your child to an employee is sad for everyone involved.
No wonder a friend of mine always says: "A Dominican woman who carries her child in arms is because she can't afford a nana"

Derfish said:

I am living wqith a woman who has 2 teenagers, I have just moived in and don't know a lot about their family life as yet, but SHe was calling out "Ho, Ho" to one of her kids, and I assumed it was the girl, but found out the boy's name is Joel and it comes out as Ho!

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Yep. Joel is pronounced Ho-el. Yoel is also used. Resembling our English Jo-el.

Congrats on the new family!

Some of the best mothers in the world.

Givadogahome said:

Spin off alert

Well they churn them out, but are they any good at the after care?

Discuss!



(For the purpose of this discussion I will allow some generalization, but lets not get all JMB on this and start proclaiming all Dominican mothers would sell their kids for a few grand.)

Click to expand...

Mothers = NO
Grand-Mothers = YES

Eddy said:

Mothers = NO
Grand-Mothers = YES

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I agree with you one hundred percent!

AlterEgo said:

I know I'll get blasted for this, but one thing that bothers me, and that I truly can't grasp, is how many Dominican mothers live in other countries and leave their children behind in DR for someone else to raise. It's accepted and rather common, from what I've seen.

Mr. AE's sister left her daughter in SD when she moved to NY, the girl was about 5. She brought her to NY to go to high school, then she went back to SD for college. Mr. AE's brother and wife had child in NYC, brought the boy to San Pedro to her mother when he was still a baby, left him there until it was time for first grade.

How does a mother DO that?

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One of my cousins daughters lives in the states.She left her 18 month old baby girl with her
mother to raise.Now she has a boyfriend and I can bet when she comes out pregnant,she will
take the baby to her mother to raise also.

You asked how does a mother do that? Here's my answer....She's NOT a mother.

AlterEgo said:

I know I'll get blasted for this, but one thing that bothers me, and that I truly can't grasp, is how many Dominican mothers live in other countries and leave their children behind in DR for someone else to raise. It's accepted and rather common, from what I've seen.

Mr. AE's sister left her daughter in SD when she moved to NY, the girl was about 5. She brought her to NY to go to high school, then she went back to SD for college. Mr. AE's brother and wife had child in NYC, brought the boy to San Pedro to her mother when he was still a baby, left him there until it was time for first grade.

How does a mother DO that?

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Leaving your kids at home doesn't mean you wouldn't want to be with them, that you don't love them and that you are over there having a glamorous life

First of all, most people go abroad because of work, not really because they want to live there. If you are a mother who left, you are working full time and, most of the time, in a bad place to send money home so that your kid can have a nice life. You being there doesn't mean that you want your kid living in a bad neighborhood in a tiny apartment with you. And also, if you had your kid there you wouldn't be able to watch her/him; You'd have to hire someone anyway, a stranger! Mothers have some sort of peace of mind when they leave their kids home with a trusted relative, usually the grandma. By the way, if you wanna know what your kid's up to, you can call a neighbor and they will surely tell you.

Then there's the parents who are afraid of "losing" their kids to drugs and other influences. While in the DR you can have control over your kids, even if they're close to or older than 18. I've heard many concerned parents say that their afraid of bringing their kids to NY! There is also fear of schools there, with the bullying going on. Here you know that your kids are in school and you can be sure that no one is going to stab them, shoot them or beat them up and send them to the hospital.

Of course, many parents still "lose" their kids while in the DR. Sending stuff isn't isn't enough and the love of a trusted relative can't make up for a mother but for most people this works.

Aguaita29 said:

Leaving your kids at home doesn't mean you wouldn't want to be with them, that you don't love them and that you are over there having a glamorous life

First of all, most people go abroad because of work, not really because they want to live there. If you are a mother who left, you are working full time and, most of the time, in a bad place to send money home so that your kid can have a nice life. You being there doesn't mean that you want your kid living in a bad neighborhood in a tiny apartment with you. And also, if you had your kid there you wouldn't be able to watch her/him; You'd have to hire someone anyway, a stranger! Mothers have some sort of peace of mind when they leave their kids home with a trusted relative, usually the grandma. By the way, if you wanna know what your kid's up to, you can call a neighbor and they will surely tell you.

Then there's the parents who are afraid of "losing" their kids to drugs and other influences. While in the DR you can have control over your kids, even if they're close to or older than 18. I've heard many concerned parents say that their afraid of bringing their kids to NY! There is also fear of schools there, with the bullying going on. Here you know that your kids are in school and you can be sure that no one is going to stab them, shoot them or beat them up and send them to the hospital.

Of course, many parents still "lose" their kids while in the DR. Sending stuff isn't isn't enough and the love of a trusted relative can't make up for a mother but for most people this works.

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You make good points,but on the other hand there is no bond between mother and child.
Looking at it through a child's point of view it's called abandonment.I struggled with my
children living in the states when I got a divorce and it never entered my mind to send
my children away to live with relatives in the DR.I could not even think about separating
myself from my children.Love them too much.

No money or "nice life" she could provide for her kid is ever going to make up for lack of a mother. It's something that must be understood a all cost, and stop doing wrong things just for money and material stuff.

Most caring, self sacrificing, and loving mother I have ever seen. The kids worship her. The house does not have a single rule -sleep all day on the weekends, stay up all night with the tv, leave your clothes and dirty dishes wherever. And she worries about them all the time. Just so long as they are doing well in school there are no rules.

bronzeallspice said:

You make good points,but on the other hand there is no bond between mother and child.
Looking at it through a child's point of view it's called abandonment.I struggled with my
children living in the states when I got a divorce and it never entered my mind to send
my children away to live with relatives in the DR.I could not even think about separating
myself from my children.Love them too much.

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Well, it is a common practice in my community as well (and many other immigrants community I believe). First, you have to understand that these mothers love their children as much as you and I do. The children do understand that their parents are doing the sacrifice for their own good and don't necessarily feel abandonned. The bond between the mother and child is there, but different.

Castle said:

No money or "nice life" she could provide for her kid is ever going to make up for lack of a mother. It's something that must be understood a all cost, and stop doing wrong things just for money and material stuff.

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It is not Black and white. It is not necessarily the money and material stuff. It is also for the children to have access to better school for examples and being immersed in their culture too. I know children who stayed here in the US and others that parents sent or left back home for a few years. Most of the times, the latter are doing much better when they come back. Actually, night and days, kids have attended good school, have much more respect for their elders, and understand the concept of hard work. So, I kinda understand where they coming from although this is not something I could do myself (again I am lucky enough that I can give my children a decent life and access to things here in the US that immigrant parents working 70 hours a week, living in the hood can't).

So, I am more with Aguaita on that one. The problem usually arose when the trusted relatives were not to be trusted and the money destined for the children (school, clothes and other stuff) is waisted on useless things.

Moved to living!!!!!!!

Sometimes the "apple does not fall far from the tree". If the child (girl) grows up with the idea that she is the one who has the child but mom (grandma) will take care of the child then this may be the likely scenario. I have seen where a mother leaves her child/children to live in another country and while the intentions seemed correct I have questioned it at times. Some mothers "forget" that responsibility once they pass through the doors at the airport while others really suffer because of it. My sister in-law had 2 kids and my mother in-law raised them while my sister in-law was in med school in the Capital. The intention was good. Then my niece got pregnant at 16 (whole other story) and guess who takes care of the baby, you got it, my sister in-law. But this is common here, nothing unusual. I do not doubt the love a mother has for her child but what I question is their sense of responsibility or lack of it.