Dominican Catch 22s: Your input requested

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
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Here are three instances of real life Dominican Catch 22s:

1) If you have a big tank truck (18 wheeler type) and want to wholesale fuels by buying direct from the refinery, here is what happens:
a. You go to the refinery and ask what you need to do in order to buy direct. They say get a permit from the Ministry of Industry and Commerce.
B. You go to Industry and Commerce and ask for a permit to purchase directly from the Refinery. They tell you that you need to have a contract with one of the major oil companies--Shell/Texaco/Esso/Isla--in order to issue you a permit.
c. You go to one of the major oil companies to set up an account so you can purchase fuel at the refinery and they tell you that you need a permit from Industry and Commerce.


2) You have just imported your new car, at a sizable savings all told (RD$500,000 in this case). You have paid over RD$100,000 for the first license plate, gotten your vehicle registration papers and gone to your home in Santiago. Being a good citizen, you realize you do not have a "Marbete" which is the sticker on your windshield that says that you have paid your registration. So:
-You go to the local Rentas Internas Office and say that you need a marbete for your new car.
-They say:"Here you are sir, that will be 2400 for your new car plus 800 in penalties."
-You say: "Penalties? What penalties? I just got this car, here are the registration papers issued yesterday!"
-They say: "I am sorry sir, but the "system" will not allow me to go forward without posting the late fee."

So you pay the RD$800 (after all it would take 3000 in gasoline to go to Santo Domingo to fight this.


3) You take your daughter to the airport in Santo Domingo. (Cheaper flight after all). You take your ticket, park your car and go in, check her in and give her a hug and kiss and right back to the car. Max 20-25 minutes.
-You drive up to the toll booth to pay for your 1/2 hour parking and they tell you: "No sir, you need to go through the automated gates to get another ticket with your fee and THEN you pay here."
-You go to where this guy indicated that there were 5 automatic machines for this process, but it seems that 4 of them are "Out of Order!" ....and only one working and of course there is a very, very long line waiting to get their tickets. So long in fact that it takes 1 1/2 hours to get it!! And of course your are charged for the 1 1/2 hours of 'parking' as you waited in line!!! Sweet, huh?


Feel free to post your own versions of Dominican Catch 22s ....


Sheesh!



HB
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,847
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OMG...i have to laugh. How much mainframe computer space do you guys have available on this website? I can go on for dozens of pages on this subject. I've mentioned quite a few of them in my book, but rather wait until it comes out before going over them again. Still, a few are worthy of mentioning here:

1. I went to the dentist here about 20 years ago. The office was in santo domingo, on JFK. The dentist is my father's cousin's daughter. She looked over my teeth very thoroughly and began working on them. She began drilling. I stopped her and asked, "Wait, shouldn't you take an x-ray of my teeth first before you start drilling?"
"No, that's later."
"Ok, i answered. i don't know anything about dentistry. She's a dentist, she must know what she's doing. an hour later, i got up out of the chair, thanked her, and went to leave. She stopped me and said i must go to this address (she scribbled it on a napkin) across town to get some x-rays of my teeth in order to see if i have anymore cavities.

2. Over several decades, I've eaten at many restaurants throughout the island. Every so often, i lack change, and when i got to pay i may only have $1000 pesos on me. On several occasions i've been told i must go get change in order to pay my bill. It's explained to me that they have no transportation, or lack personnel, to go and find change. Suddenly, it is up to me to go and search for change in order to pay for my bill.

Ok, fair enough, i've been in this situation a few times, i understand it. Occasionally, although very rarely, the restaurant where i work will run out of change. Why? because the bank has no more 50's or 100's because there has been a run-on during the holidays from surrounding businesses who got to the local bank branches first. I usually keep a back up of around $20,000 in both 50's & 100's in this kind of emergency situation.

Now, here is where it gets both absurd and funny...the restaurant where i've gone to pay my bill--the one's whom lack the change--has now sent me on a search, an errand throughout the town to find change in order to pay my bill--but they've asked me to leave something valuable behind in order to guarantee my return.

Whenever this has happened (albeit rarely), i say, "Wait a second", and then I try to use what's known as logic, "You have no change, right? You have no transportation, or a lack personnel to go and get change, right? Now you want me to go and get change, but you want me to leave behind something valuable of mine--guaranteeing my return, right?" then i ask, "Does this seem fair to you guys?"

I have many, many more stories to share, but not enough mainframe computer space available. I'm certain of it.

Frank
 
Last edited:

Criss Colon

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
21,843
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yahoomail.com
I went complain about a high water bill.
She said it was high, because I was being charged for having a water well, but that I didn't have a well.
I said, but I DO have a well.
She said, "No, you Don't".
"I DO!"
"NO, you DON"T!
'OK, your right, "I Don't!"
She said, "That's what I SAID!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I saw that waste paper baskets were "On Sale", so, armed with the news paper, I went to buy one.
I found them, selected a white one, and went to the checkout.
I was charged the regular price, Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo, being prepared for that, I pulled out my newspaper to SHOW them.
She looked at the ad, and said, "See, it's the blue ones that are on sale,NOT the white ones!"
I went and tore down the sign at the display, and showed her it said, "All Colors".
That's not right, it's a mistake.
Only the newspaper is correct!
She looked so funny with the wastebasket over her head!
"Not Really"!
I just left the basket, along with about 5,000 pesos of impulse purchases I planned to buy!
Is,"Dominican LOGIC", an "OXYMORON", or just another "Dominican MORON"?
You Decide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

"HB's" experiences are a result of people not doing a job that they were hired, but never trained, to do.
It's like talking to a "Call Center" in India.
They just follow the "Script", but have no idea what the are talking about.
Just like here!
Logic plays no roll when talking to these "Robots".
If they are told to go from point "A", to point "Z", they know nothing about points "B", through "Y"!
Better ask "chip" to go for you, he NEVER has any problems here in the DR!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
 

CFA123

Silver
May 29, 2004
3,512
413
83
I'm in my office one day when one of my employees comes in and tells me she has a friend that I should meet.
Her friend is "very pretty and a really good girl".
I proceed to tell her "that's great, but I'm not really looking for a good girl."
Next day she comes back and says to me, "I talked to my friend, and she really is a good girl, but she said she'd be bad for you."
Wait, that's not a Catch22... that's a real catch!
 

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
frank, i do not mean to hijack the rant but no need for an xray when you have fillings done. root canal? yes. extraction? yes? cosmetic dentistry? yes. but a simple cavity? no. a dentist can see superficial cavities with a regular checkup.
 

Celt202

Gold
May 22, 2004
9,099
944
113
Where do you begin?

I'm having a brain fart, I can't think of any because there are so many.

:cross-eye

I'll be back

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/NEbwuehH35I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/M1ypn0y32Ac" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 

mountainannie

Platinum
Dec 11, 2003
16,350
1,358
113
elizabetheames.blogspot.com
you come to santo domingo as a foreigner and want to rent a furnished apartment

you are new to the town and do not know anyone

all the signs on the streets say that the apartments are available for rent furnished

you call the numbers

they ask you if you have a Dominican who will guarantee your rent for you

because they will not sign a lease with a foreigner
 

Tamborista

hasta la tambora
Apr 4, 2005
11,747
1,343
113
you come to santo domingo as a foreigner and want to rent a furnished apartment

you are new to the town and do not know anyone

all the signs on the streets say that the apartments are available for rent furnished

you call the numbers

they ask you if you have a Dominican who will guarantee your rent for you

because they will not sign a lease with a foreigner

I think your turntable is stuck on the same LP... the same song ... over & over & over.
 

Garyexpat

Bronze
Sep 7, 2012
2,105
739
113
OMG...i have to laugh. How much mainframe computer space do you guys have available on this website? I can go on for dozens of pages on this subject. I've mentioned quite a few of them in my book, but rather wait until it comes out before going over them again. Still, a few are worthy of mentioning here:

1. I went to the dentist here about 20 years ago. The office was in santo domingo, on JFK. The dentist is my father's cousin's daughter. She looked over my teeth very thoroughly and began working on them. She began drilling. I stopped her and asked, "Wait, shouldn't you take an x-ray of my teeth first before you start drilling?"
"No, that's later."
"Ok, i answered. i don't know anything about dentistry. She's a dentist, she must know what she's doing. an hour later, i got up out of the chair, thanked her, and went to leave. She stopped me and said i must go to this address (she scribbled it on a napkin) across town to get some x-rays of my teeth in order to see if i have anymore cavities.

2. Over several decades, I've eaten at many restaurants throughout the island. Every so often, i lack change, and when i got to pay i may only have $1000 pesos on me. On several occasions i've been told i must go get change in order to pay my bill. It's explained to me that they have no transportation, or lack personnel, to go and find change. Suddenly, it is up to me to go and search for change in order to pay for my bill.

Ok, fair enough, i've been in this situation a few times, i understand it. Occasionally, although very rarely, the restaurant where i work will run out of change. Why? because the bank has no more 50's or 100's because there has been a run-on during the holidays from surrounding businesses who got to the local bank branches first. I usually keep a back up of around $20,000 in both 50's & 100's in this kind of emergency situation.

Now, here is where it gets both absurd and funny...the restaurant where i've gone to pay my bill--the one's whom lack the change--has now sent me on a search, an errand throughout the town to find change in order to pay my bill--but they've asked me to leave something valuable behind in order to guarantee my return.

Whenever this has happened (albeit rarely), i say, "Wait a second", and then I try to use what's known as logic, "You have no change, right? You have no transportation, or a lack personnel to go and get change, right? Now you want me to go and get change, but you want me to leave behind something valuable of mine--guaranteeing my return, right?" then i ask, "Does this seem fair to you guys?"

I have many, many more stories to share, but not enough mainframe computer space available. I'm certain of it.

Frank

When I still lived in the capitol I was using taxis every day. This was NOT an isolated incident but the worst of its kind. I get to my office and of course the driver has no change for 500 pesos. I go into the macdonalds and buy a coffee (they know me from buying coffee every morning). They have no change but because they no me they say no problem (doesn't help me) I go to a banca where i sometimes charge my phone - no change - sandwich shop ask for a water, he sees my 500 and says he has no change for it. I ended walking down to the supermerdo National get a water open it and drink half while waiting in line and FINALLY get my change, walk back and pay the driver.......just another day in paradise.
Like I often tell people, I have lived many places in my life you always have the bad with the good and as long as there is more good than bad I am ok
 

keepcoming

Moderator - Living & General Stuff
May 25, 2011
4,734
2,492
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Went to a late breakfast at a local hotel for their buffet. Got to the restaurant and they told us we needed to go get a ticket at the front desk for the buffet. Ok off to the front desk and after about 15 minutes of explaining (not a guest just want to go to the buffet) we paid and were given the tickets for the breakfast buffet. Get back to the restaurant hand the tickets to the girl in the front and she now says it is not breakfast anymore it is now lunch and we will need to go back to the front desk and get the correct tickets. And to top it off it was probably one of the worst buffet lunches I have had.
 

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
11,009
2
38
Went to a late breakfast at a local hotel for their buffet. Got to the restaurant and they told us we needed to go get a ticket at the front desk for the buffet. Ok off to the front desk and after about 15 minutes of explaining (not a guest just want to go to the buffet) we paid and were given the tickets for the breakfast buffet. Get back to the restaurant hand the tickets to the girl in the front and she now says it is not breakfast anymore it is now lunch and we will need to go back to the front desk and get the correct tickets. And to top it off it was probably one of the worst buffet lunches I have had.

Ha Ha! Don't you wanna put your hands around their throats and squeeze!:D After all that!
 

Mauricio

Gold
Nov 18, 2002
5,607
7
38
frank, i do not mean to hijack the rant but no need for an xray when you have fillings done. root canal? yes. extraction? yes? cosmetic dentistry? yes. but a simple cavity? no. a dentist can see superficial cavities with a regular checkup.
Yeah, that sounds right. And most Dominican dentists love to make an X-ray themselves and charge for it.
 

Criss Colon

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
21,843
191
0
38
yahoomail.com
"CFA", I Know That Girl!!
There is even a poem about her!
"There once was a girl
Who Had a Little Curl
Right In The Middle Of Her Forehead.
When She Was GOOD, She Was VERY VERY GOOD,
But When She Was BAD, She Was Even BETTER!!!!!!!"

Is THAT The One????
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
 

Celt202

Gold
May 22, 2004
9,099
944
113
When I still lived in the capitol I was using taxis every day. This was NOT an isolated incident but the worst of its kind. I get to my office and of course the driver has no change for 500 pesos. I go into the macdonalds and buy a coffee (they know me from buying coffee every morning). They have no change but because they no me they say no problem (doesn't help me) I go to a banca where i sometimes charge my phone - no change - sandwich shop ask for a water, he sees my 500 and says he has no change for it. I ended walking down to the supermerdo National get a water open it and drink half while waiting in line and FINALLY get my change, walk back and pay the driver.......just another day in paradise.
Like I often tell people, I have lived many places in my life you always have the bad with the good and as long as there is more good than bad I am ok

One of the life skills of living here is storing up bills and change like a squirrel storing nuts.

It works great until you events knock you upside the head and you run out.
 

Celt202

Gold
May 22, 2004
9,099
944
113
Here's one...

In January of 2010 my cedula was expiring. I went to the JCE to renew it and they told me they were waiting to implement the biometric data collection system so come back in June.

I went back in June, come back in August they said.

In August I went to the JCE in la Feria to check on the biometric data and they took my data so off I went to the JCE office on Luperon to get my cedula. They told me "Your residency is up for renewal in December, renew your cedula then."

December comes I renew my residency, off to Luperon to renew my cedula and they want to charge me 11 months late fees for the cedula. I went round and round with them, right up to the office manager. Terco is the word... late fees apply. I paid up.

Several days later the government announces they are waiving late fees for foreigners renewing their residency and cedulas. Back I go to the JCE.

No refunds.

Living here is an art form...

You know... like playing the violin

460x.jpg


Kids play Mozart with violins made from garbage

Make music with the materials at hand.