i want to be alone!

ade said:

i want my dominican husband to leave - 10 years of misery is enough for anyone! he has other women and is a
foul mouthed liar as well as a cheat but wont leave me and i'm at my wits end. i do not want to involve the police so has anyone any tips for me to see the back of him for good:ermm:

Click to expand...

You probably aren't going to receive many good responses until you give more pertinent information.
What nationality are you, do you have children with him, if so, what are the ages. For good advise, you will have to tell more about your situation..............Anyways, the best of luck to you........

B in Santiago

Is there a reason why you want him to leave but you can't leave him? Maybe if you
give more details others may be able to give you better advice.

ade said:

i want my dominican husband to leave - 10 years of misery is enough for anyone! he has other women and is a
foul mouthed liar as well as a cheat but wont leave me and i'm at my wits end. i do not want to involve the police so has anyone any tips for me to see the back of him for good:ermm:

Click to expand...

First of all, it doesnt matter why she wants to leave. Although she already mentioned he's a cheating piece of $hit. Reason enough.

Ade, first of all, be careful. Very careful. Dominican men are extremely possesive and sometimes they kill their lovers/wives when they cant take them anymore and want out.

Involving the police wont get you anywhere unless he physically abuses you.

If I were you, and had another country to move to, leave him and start the process with a lawyer, while youre safe in another country. He's a cheater who probably has it good at home and on the streets so he's isnt going to take the divorce news easily. if you decide to do it all "in person", have another male around at all times. Especially when in contact with your new ex.

Sorry this is happening to you but unfortunately, with dominican men, its all too common. Stay strong and think things through before doing them. Most important thing is to not put yourself in a situation where this piece of crap can hurt/ injure you physically.

Dominicans will abuse your trust and will make it extremely difficult on you if you try to leave them. Best thing you can do is seperate yourself physically from this person and always make sure you're around someone that can "have your back" when this loser shows up again. (he will).

NV, I think you are misunderstanding what is being asked of the OP. I asked her
if there was a reason why she can't leave him instead of her wanting him to leave.
Obviously there is a reason and this is a delicate matter where you want to make
sure you are giving the right advice and not something that might put her life
in peril. She doesn't have to disclose it, it was just a request.

bronzeallspice said:

NV, I think you are misunderstanding what is being asked of the OP. I asked her
if there was a reason why she can't leave him instead of her wanting him to leave.
Obvious there is a reason and this is a delicate matter where you want to make
sure you are given the right advice and not something that might put her life
in peril. She doesn't have to disclose it, it was just a request.

Click to expand...

Sorry, misunderstood, I truly have got to stop reading DR1 first thing in the morning. Brain isnt fully ON yet. lol

NV_ said:

Sorry, misunderstood, I truly have got to stop reading DR1 first thing in the morning. Brain isnt fully ON yet. lol

Click to expand...

I know the feeling, it's happened to me before. A good cup of coffee or two will fix it.

bronzeallspice said:

NV, I think you are misunderstanding what is being asked of the OP. I asked her
if there was a reason why she can't leave instead of her wanting him to leave.
Obvious there is a reason and this is a delicate matter where you want to make
sure you are given the right advice and not something that might put her life
in peril. She doesn't have to disclose it, it was just a request.

Click to expand...

Obviously, unless he's chained her up, she can leave. But she feels she can't for psychological reasons. Threats. Children involved. Control of finances. Etc.

Getting him to leave in RD is nearly impossible.

why don t you just leave him?

pollogringo said:

Obviously, unless he's chained her up, she can leave. But she feels she can't for psychological reasons. Threats. Children involved. Control of finances. Etc.

Getting him to leave in RD is nearly impossible.

Click to expand...

Agreed.

Listen folks, many years ago I tried to intervene in a marital dispute. It didn't turn out well for me. The couple, on the other hand, went on their merry way. Point being that no type of advice is going to make a difference. Its up to the OP. No doubt she, better than anybody, understands what can be done in her situation. What she will do is another story.

some people just enjoy punishing themselves- I dont think we can help if she has been letting it happen for 10 years

What she appears to need is the name of very good, very tough divorce attorney...

this is another of the tales of what happens to some women who get involved with some Dominican men. Evidently is wall charming and exotic and lovely back in Wales and then they decided to come back here and build a luxury house in San Cristobal, buy another in Santo Domingo... and now she is surrounded by his family, isolated,

drop by drop. drip by drip.. I was married to a guy like this once. Ok not this bad and we were both Americans but he was Swiss raised.. completely adored and petted by his mother and three sisters, did not do a thing around the house.. and was always waiting for the NEXT great thing to happen.

I was sorta numb and terrified iof him. Fortunately we got a German Sheperd who obeyed him the way he wanted me to obey him and a friend of ours... finally rescued me from the marriage...
(my husband threatened him with a gun )

so I can really relate to this woman. If someone is trying to charm you, to entice you, it can take a long time before you figure out the scam.

This is a form of psychological abuse that most men are probably just not going to be able to grasp.

But I get it.

(he went on to marry a mutaul friend who came to me when he ran out on her.. but they have stayed together as they have 3 kids, and he has did find the next thing.. now has a paid up house and a million in the bank.. and has apologized to me again and again.. but well.. I was really terrified and I certainly do not envy her)

plus, my mother always hated him and got to at least say "I told you so"

Anyway.. sorry for the long aside. But NV is right. These men can be dangerous.

If the OP can afford it. it is best to just cut and run.

IF not, if she has the strength, then GET A GOOD LAWYER.

You will only get half probably since it seems clear that the San Cristobal house was built after you were married.

anyway. please do not beat up her here.

You guys really do not know how insidious these sankies can be... OK if you do not have any sympathy, but .at least no more pain.

Find an attractive hiv positive girl and hire her as a housekeeper. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Sometimes
you get what you deserve. Need to start thinking out of the box. Normal options do not apply here.

zoomzx11 said:

Find an attractive hiv positive girl and hire her as a housekeeper. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Sometimes
you get what you deserve. Need to start thinking out of the box. Normal options do not apply here.

Click to expand...

i love it!!!!!!

why do i get the feeling that this is yet one more stray dog rescue, bronzie? (inside joke..or not)

the gorgon said:

why do i get the feeling that this is yet one more stray dog rescue, bronzie? (inside joke..or not)

Click to expand...

I hear you! lol!

pollogringo said:

Obviously, unless he's chained her up, she can leave. But she feels she can't for psychological reasons. Threats. Children involved. Control of finances. Etc.

Getting him to leave in RD is nearly impossible.

Click to expand...

Do we know if they even live in the DR?