Santo Domingo is a Traffic-inferno Dante's Hellhole

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,847
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48
1. The traffic in Santo Domingo is hell. I travel there by motorcycle. By the time i've traveled from JFK to the Malecon (mostly on the sidewalk) i've passed 500 cars sitting at traffic lights with their plastic bumpers melting in the sun and the heat.

2. The pollution from all of the cars is hell. By the time i've reached the Colonial Zone, i am coughing up some black, slimy, exhaust looking smoke from my lungs. However, I use it to glue back my soles onto my boots. It works.

3. The Malecon is dirty, grimy, with plastic trash accumulating on the edges of the road--resembling a gay pride parade that just passed through with a lot of chiffon and Boa feathers backing up the sewer system.

4. Trying to make from one end of Abraham Lincoln to the next in a 24hr period is nearly impossible.

5. Trying to drive from one end of JFK to the next is nearly impossible on a motorcycle because...they have this fantastic law in the DR which states that "No motorcycle are permitted on the overhead bridges or in the tunnels." when i come out of the tunnels--sometimes exceeding speeds which have me driving above the pavement--i encounter stupid AMET officer trying to get me to pull over to issue you me a ticket for going through the tunnel...on a 1000cc motorcycle...not a 50cc scooter!

6. Did i mention the traffic sucks, and it's hot, and the exhausts from all of the vehicles stuck in "Traffic Hell" causes people to come down with Asthma, Glaucoma, and Gonorrhea in as little as one hour.

7. The humidity index within the city is so astronomical that people hair have been known to spontaneously combust while walking down the street or sitting at traffic lights.

8. On top of having to carry around a fire extinguisher with me at all times to put out people's hair catching on fire, my hair begins to "puff" up like a Puffer fish. I must use 1kilo of hair cream to keep from standing up vertically.


Frank
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,847
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9. Did i mention that driving down certain streets--trying to avoid all of the missing manhole covers--is like driving through Baghdad during the war? I've driven into a few of them and not come out for three days.

Frank
 

kenthedentman

New member
Apr 10, 2012
418
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0
Tranquilo. It will be alright. Get drink holder for the bike and pick up a Presidente every other block. Before long you wont notice anything. Especially the manholes with trees sticking out of them.
 

jabejuventus

Bronze
Feb 15, 2013
1,437
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0
8. On top of having to carry around a fire extinguisher with me at all times to put out people's hair catching on fire, my hair begins to "puff" up like a Puffer fish. I must use 1kilo of hair cream to keep from standing up vertically.

Frank

Bad hair days. That's how I got into wearing hats.:)
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,847
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48
Bad hair days. That's how I got into wearing hats.:)

HAHA...yes, i agree. However, i have a lot hair right going on right now, so i'm afraid i would need to use a Top hat in order to keep it under control. And i'm sorry, Top hats are not exactly conducive to the Dominican climate and ceiling fans.

Frank
 

jabejuventus

Bronze
Feb 15, 2013
1,437
0
0
HAHA...yes, i agree. However, i have a lot hair right going on right now, so i'm afraid i would need to use a Top hat in order to keep it under control. And i'm sorry, Top hats are not exactly conducive to the Dominican climate and ceiling fans.

Frank

A lot of hair is good. Take good care of it. I tell my wife that I'll probably lose mine when we finally settle there. :)

Jabe
 

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
i love SD. if i were to live there i'd keep my tiny honda capa and laugh in the faces of all those posh assholes in giant cars. yes, the traffic is truly crappy but SD offers a lot more than any other city in DR. it is worth paying the price, i guess.
 

kenthedentman

New member
Apr 10, 2012
418
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0
I agree DV8. You just have to learn that puncuality is not a highly regarded trait here. Although i like Puerta Plata too, but its too far from miesposas familia. Reason number one we have a place in SD and not in the states.
 

jabejuventus

Bronze
Feb 15, 2013
1,437
0
0
With the new highways going up SD is a lot closer to its surrounding areas than it used to be. PC to SD = 2:15
 

windeguy

Platinum
Jul 10, 2004
42,087
5,914
113
i love SD. if i were to live there i'd keep my tiny honda capa and laugh in the faces of all those posh assholes in giant cars. yes, the traffic is truly crappy but SD offers a lot more than any other city in DR. it is worth paying the price, i guess.

Not for me. No way, no how. Nope, never.
 

notreallyconfused

New member
Feb 18, 2013
187
0
0
1. The traffic in Santo Domingo is hell. I travel there by motorcycle. By the time i've traveled from JFK to the Malecon (mostly on the sidewalk) i've passed 500 cars sitting at traffic lights with their plastic bumpers melting in the sun and the heat.

2. The pollution from all of the cars is hell. By the time i've reached the Colonial Zone, i am coughing up some black, slimy, exhaust looking smoke from my lungs. However, I use it to glue back my soles onto my boots. It works.

3. The Malecon is dirty, grimy, with plastic trash accumulating on the edges of the road--resembling a gay pride parade that just passed through with a lot of chiffon and Boa feathers backing up the sewer system.

4. Trying to make from one end of Abraham Lincoln to the next in a 24hr period is nearly impossible.

5. Trying to drive from one end of JFK to the next is nearly impossible on a motorcycle because...they have this fantastic law in the DR which states that "No motorcycle are permitted on the overhead bridges or in the tunnels." when i come out of the tunnels--sometimes exceeding speeds which have me driving above the pavement--i encounter stupid AMET officer trying to get me to pull over to issue you me a ticket for going through the tunnel...on a 1000cc motorcycle...not a 50cc scooter!

6. Did i mention the traffic sucks, and it's hot, and the exhausts from all of the vehicles stuck in "Traffic Hell" causes people to come down with Asthma, Glaucoma, and Gonorrhea in as little as one hour.

7. The humidity index within the city is so astronomical that people hair have been known to spontaneously combust while walking down the street or sitting at traffic lights.

8. On top of having to carry around a fire extinguisher with me at all times to put out people's hair catching on fire, my hair begins to "puff" up like a Puffer fish. I must use 1kilo of hair cream to keep from standing up vertically.


Frank

Love 7 and 8!!! With all the extensions out there this could really be an environmental issue!
 

Ringo

On Vacation!
Mar 6, 2003
2,823
41
0
Oh Frank! What we gonna do with you? What you put up with in your book is a lot more then being in S.D. LOL.

My wife and I have had to be in S.D. several times this year and stay a night or two. Partly because we don't know how long some things will take and it's easier to just book an extra night.

We take the BUS and have a couple of Taxi guys that we use. Jeep uses to much gas to sit in traffic. Getting lost. Road rage and guns.... (OOPS). Me laying on the horn. Parking. Dents and scratches. Finding ourselves in a hole in the road with a broken suspension. A gringo target for everyone.

We book our hotel depending on what the area that we have to get whatever done. Walk to most things that we need including food shopping and restaurants. Easy to Google Earth and figure all this out.

IF we drive because of MAJOR shopping, we never drive into the city. We take the OLD airport road on the west side down to the Malecon and a couple of blocks north to our hotel. ALWAYS timed to miss rush hour. (very hard to do now) Park and take a taxi to do the shopping and then fill our car.

And always arrive at least the evening before the next day appointment.
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,847
29
48
Oh Frank! What we gonna do with you? What you put up with in your book is a lot more then being in S.D. LOL.

My wife and I have had to be in S.D. several times this year and stay a night or two. Partly because we don't know how long some things will take and it's easier to just book an extra night.

We take the BUS and have a couple of Taxi guys that we use. Jeep uses to much gas to sit in traffic. Getting lost. Road rage and guns.... (OOPS). Me laying on the horn. Parking. Dents and scratches. Finding ourselves in a hole in the road with a broken suspension. A gringo target for everyone.

We book our hotel depending on what the area that we have to get whatever done. Walk to most things that we need including food shopping and restaurants. Easy to Google Earth and figure all this out.

IF we drive because of MAJOR shopping, we never drive into the city. We take the OLD airport road on the west side down to the Malecon and a couple of blocks north to our hotel. ALWAYS timed to miss rush hour. (very hard to do now) Park and take a taxi to do the shopping and then fill our car.

And always arrive at least the evening before the next day appointment.

Yes, yes...very good advice. but in my personal experience, I've found that, for example, in order for me to get from Winston Churchill to the airport by 8pm--during rush hour--I must leave at least three days earlier just in case i drive down into one of the missing Manhole covers that populate the city. This will give me just enough time to re-emerge from my coma while sitting inside the hole, brush myself off, change tires on my motorcycle, bend the rim back, and then continue on my way.

I know this will sound like bullsh1t to some people here, but there have been times where i have driven into these missing manhole covers at night, gone unconscious from suffering a concussion, woken up a few days later deep in the hole--but completed rested--dusted myself off, and continued on my journey to the airport with only some minor fractures, bruises and scratches.

It's really a complete surreal experience, but i don't really recommend it for anyone who doesn't have at least three days to kill.

Frank
 

Dolores1

DR1
May 3, 2000
8,215
37
48
www.
Actually traffic in Santo Domingo these days is down quite some because school is out. We who live in Santo Domingo have learned to do our best to avoid peak hours. Traffic is not that bad from 10am to 12 noon, from 3-4:30pm, and then after 8pm. Plan on half an hour off peak hours and 45 minutes at peak hours to get from one point to another. Can be less, but pack in the extra time to not be late.

Traffic bothers me less after recently being in Bogota and commuting there. Having traveled around the world, Santo Domingo continues to be my favorite city. Here one is close to the beautiful beach and mountain areas of the DR, but there is enough culturally and intellectually stimulating going on all year round.

The new pastime in the city is strolling through the big shopping malls and stores -- Galerias 360, Ikea, Agora, Sambil, Blue Mall, Plaza Central, Acropolis. In the summer heat that is a great way to get in some exercise.
 

cobraboy

Pro-Bono Demolition Hobbyist
Jul 24, 2004
40,964
936
113
I enjoyed the last tropical storm that blew through StoDgo a few weeks ago.

The traffic was almost *zero*. Happy Days...

Other than that, simply horrible. There will come a time when the total area footprint of all the vehicles in StoDgo will exceed the total area of the roads.
 

Ringo

On Vacation!
Mar 6, 2003
2,823
41
0
Yes, yes...very good advice. but in my personal experience, I've found that, for example, in order for me to get from Winston Churchill to the airport by 8pm--during rush hour--I must leave at least three days earlier just in case i drive down into one of the missing Manhole covers that populate the city. This will give me just enough time to re-emerge from my coma while sitting inside the hole, brush myself off, change tires on my motorcycle, bend the rim back, and then continue on my way.

I know this will sound like bullsh1t to some people here, but there have been times where i have driven into these missing manhole covers at night, gone unconscious from suffering a concussion, woken up a few days later deep in the hole--but completed rested--dusted myself off, and continued on my journey to the airport with only some minor fractures, bruises and scratches.

It's really a complete surreal experience, but i don't really recommend it for anyone who doesn't have at least three days to kill.

Frank

No Frank... I BELIVE YOU! Just cause you are.... Frank. Love it.
 

the gorgon

Platinum
Sep 16, 2010
33,997
83
0
I enjoyed the last tropical storm that blew through StoDgo a few weeks ago.

The traffic was almost *zero*. Happy Days...

Other than that, simply horrible. There will come a time when the total area footprint of all the vehicles in StoDgo will exceed the total area of the roads.

i thought the Metro had cured all of that. where is PICHARDO when we need him?
 
I take ativan with me, and I deal much better with the traffic. We get lost on the way out to GH EVERY TIME! Takes an hour at least more. We always find our way to where we are going coming in fine though.

The Wife has a heart attack about the craziness. I like it 3 lanes = 6 lanes of traffic.
 

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
i have never driven in SD. i usually hitch a ride whenever miesposo is there on business which means he is using a company car that i absolutely cannot drive (internal rules). i would love to, thou. i hate being driven in a heavy traffic, that gets my pukes moving up and out. i'd rather do it myself...