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  1. #1
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    Default Santo Domingo is a Traffic-inferno Dante's Hellhole

    1. The traffic in Santo Domingo is hell. I travel there by motorcycle. By the time i've traveled from JFK to the Malecon (mostly on the sidewalk) i've passed 500 cars sitting at traffic lights with their plastic bumpers melting in the sun and the heat.

    2. The pollution from all of the cars is hell. By the time i've reached the Colonial Zone, i am coughing up some black, slimy, exhaust looking smoke from my lungs. However, I use it to glue back my soles onto my boots. It works.

    3. The Malecon is dirty, grimy, with plastic trash accumulating on the edges of the road--resembling a gay pride parade that just passed through with a lot of chiffon and Boa feathers backing up the sewer system.

    4. Trying to make from one end of Abraham Lincoln to the next in a 24hr period is nearly impossible.

    5. Trying to drive from one end of JFK to the next is nearly impossible on a motorcycle because...they have this fantastic law in the DR which states that "No motorcycle are permitted on the overhead bridges or in the tunnels." when i come out of the tunnels--sometimes exceeding speeds which have me driving above the pavement--i encounter stupid AMET officer trying to get me to pull over to issue you me a ticket for going through the tunnel...on a 1000cc motorcycle...not a 50cc scooter!

    6. Did i mention the traffic sucks, and it's hot, and the exhausts from all of the vehicles stuck in "Traffic Hell" causes people to come down with Asthma, Glaucoma, and Gonorrhea in as little as one hour.

    7. The humidity index within the city is so astronomical that people hair have been known to spontaneously combust while walking down the street or sitting at traffic lights.

    8. On top of having to carry around a fire extinguisher with me at all times to put out people's hair catching on fire, my hair begins to "puff" up like a Puffer fish. I must use 1kilo of hair cream to keep from standing up vertically.


    Frank

  2. #2
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    Default

    9. Did i mention that driving down certain streets--trying to avoid all of the missing manhole covers--is like driving through Baghdad during the war? I've driven into a few of them and not come out for three days.

    Frank

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  4. #3
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    Tranquilo. It will be alright. Get drink holder for the bike and pick up a Presidente every other block. Before long you wont notice anything. Especially the manholes with trees sticking out of them.

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  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by frank12 View Post

    8. On top of having to carry around a fire extinguisher with me at all times to put out people's hair catching on fire, my hair begins to "puff" up like a Puffer fish. I must use 1kilo of hair cream to keep from standing up vertically.

    Frank
    Bad hair days. That's how I got into wearing hats.

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  8. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by jabejuventus View Post
    Bad hair days. That's how I got into wearing hats.
    HAHA...yes, i agree. However, i have a lot hair right going on right now, so i'm afraid i would need to use a Top hat in order to keep it under control. And i'm sorry, Top hats are not exactly conducive to the Dominican climate and ceiling fans.

    Frank

  9. #6
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    These are just some of the many reasons why I don't live in Santo Domingo

  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by frank12 View Post
    HAHA...yes, i agree. However, i have a lot hair right going on right now, so i'm afraid i would need to use a Top hat in order to keep it under control. And i'm sorry, Top hats are not exactly conducive to the Dominican climate and ceiling fans.

    Frank
    A lot of hair is good. Take good care of it. I tell my wife that I'll probably lose mine when we finally settle there.

    Jabe

  11. #8
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    i love SD. if i were to live there i'd keep my tiny honda capa and laugh in the faces of all those posh assholes in giant cars. yes, the traffic is truly crappy but SD offers a lot more than any other city in DR. it is worth paying the price, i guess.

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  13. #9
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    I agree DV8. You just have to learn that puncuality is not a highly regarded trait here. Although i like Puerta Plata too, but its too far from miesposas familia. Reason number one we have a place in SD and not in the states.

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  15. #10
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    With the new highways going up SD is a lot closer to its surrounding areas than it used to be. PC to SD = 2:15

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