Funeral

Los Lobos

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Mar 8, 2011
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Unfortunately my mother in law passed away today in the states. There will be a funeral in the states and then one in DR with the burial being in DR. Of course we will all be coming down. My question is has anyone experienced a Dominican funeral ? I was also told that we have to break up the coffin before it goes into the ground. If not someone will come and steal it. Is this true? Is nothing sacred? Not looking forward to it.
 

AlterEgo

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Jan 9, 2009
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Unfortunately my mother in law passed away today in the states. There will be a funeral in the states and then one in DR with the burial being in DR. Of course we will all be coming down. My question is has anyone experienced a Dominican funeral ? I was also told that we have to break up the coffin before it goes into the ground. If not someone will come and steal it. Is this true? Is nothing sacred? Not looking forward to it.

I was at both my mother&father-in-law's funerals in Santo Domingo. The did NOT break up the coffin, and I don't think anyone is ever "in the ground". All the cemeteries I've seen are above ground mausoleums, either privately built or part of the cemetery. In both cases, the casket was placed into the vacant vault, a spray of flowers over it, and then a cemetery employee comes and cements the opening, placing the marble stone with name and dates and cementing that too.

All this is done while the family and friends are watching.
 

bronzeallspice

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Mar 26, 2012
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You don't necessarily have to, but it is strongly advised. My grandmother and one of my
uncles died in the states and their bodies transferred for burial in the DR and both the
glass on the coffin was broken, to prevent thieves from stealing the coffin. The person
whom you assign to bury the body in the cemetery will see to it.
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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I have been to more funerals then weddings here. Far too many. It depends where she is buried as to breaking up the coffin - and the quality of the coffin. If it is a good one, and she is not in a concrete shed thingy whatever they call it in English, then yes they usually cut the coffin with axes. You should wear white or black, be prepared for histrionics,
I wrote an article on it here

Death In The Dominican Republic - Lindsay de Feliz - Columnists | ExpatFocus.com

Matilda
 

AlterEgo

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Wow, reading the posts and Matilda's blog, I think I must go to a different DR. Mr. AE's family are NOT the upper-crust, but I've never ever seen or heard of anything like described. He hasn't either.

Living and learning on DR1 - priceless.

As to the glass in the coffin, I saw that for the first time when my suegro died 10 years ago. When my suegra died last year, she had an open coffin and wake exactly like they do in the US.

Except several people snapped photos of her in the coffin, which I found creepy and in poor taste.
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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I have been to both AE. The ones in mausoleums (thanks for reminding me of the word) where they are cemented in, and the ones in the ground - far more of the latter mind. Everyone always takes pictures if they have a camera - it is important to have that last photograph. As many people did not have a camera where I lived before, I was the official dead person photographer. Not a nice job.

Matilda
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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i have been to several funerals here, with rather expensive coffins and never seen them broken or crashed either.

anyways, my experience:
dress code is not as strict as in europe. you can wear black, white or some dark shades of blue, green, brown. men often wear chacabanas, white, black, pale blue. with poorer people anything goes as the participants often do not have a huge variety of clothing.

in a funeral home coffee and water are served. air conditioning in the room with the body is very strong so people come in and out saying their last goodbyes. the coffin is either open or there is a glass window to see the body. the crowd is not loud but there is lots of talking being done. often this is the only opportunity for entire family to come together. it is important to show people care. patting on the back, hugs and holding hands is common.

bodies are usually placed in small mausolea type of structure. richer people have buildings dedicated to their own families. normal folks are just placed in a communal buildings, slotted into individual niches. the entrance is then closed down with cement blocks. the whole process may seem quite sacrilegious, especially in old cemeteries where little space is available. i call it coffin gymnastics because often the coffin is pushed and pulled in vertical position or sideways.

after the funeral there would often be a dinner. if the diseased was old the general atmosphere is quite positive. it's more of a celebration of life of that person than mourning the death. memories are exchanged, stories told.

for 9 days after the death the mass is celebrated. then once a month, then once a year.

in the pharmacy i once saw a barrio funeral: loud bachata blasting from several cars. the coffin was in a back of a jeepeta with folded sits. the caravan stopped for a moment, 6 men carried the coffin from the car and run with it down the street. 5 minutes later they were back, again running. i was told it was customary for the dead to "visit" the house once again, before the funeral. and bachata was his funeral wish. people participating were dressed in regular clothing. the whole thing was surprisingly joyful. i liked it.
 

zoomzx11

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Jan 21, 2006
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Only been to one and it was exactly as Alterego said. Above ground, in concrete, no destroying anything.
 

Trainman33

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Dec 11, 2009
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A tea made from cinnamon and this plant called a Jagua is usually served during the wake. When my my wife's grandfather died in the campo women did not go to the graveyard.
 

dv8

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my advice:
wear long pants, long sleeves rolled up and closed shoes. shoes are very important because of ants and general state of the cemeteries.
take few handkerchief and a small box of kleenex so you can always pass a hankie to someone who is crying. dominicans usually do not think about this.
keep on checking on elderly ladies. ask if they need water or coffee and bring the drink over. your attention will be appreciated.
listen to stories. nod. be prepared to say few words too, to exchange memories.
be respectful, observe the people and follow their behaviour.
 

flyinroom

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Aug 26, 2012
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I went to a private home for a showing once....just before the funeral.
The deceased was a young guy in his late 20's.
Two things surprised me. One was the glass in the coffin so people could look in. I had never seen that before.
The other, that I couldn't figure out, was that the coffin was very, very short.
The guy had died in a motorcycle accident and I wondered if he had lost his legs and they bought the coffin to fit or what.
Seriously...There is no way he would have fit on the length in that coffin.
Is that a money saving thing or does it have to do with the amount of space available for burial?
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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space is somewhat an issue at times. cemetery in POP is a good example of that. there are graves in the alleys, one next to another, crowded. when i had a friend visiting us i took her to that cemetery. we walked around a bit, stopped over a fresh grave, neatly fitted in a space between two older graves. the little heap of earth covering that grave had pieces of bone sticking out of it. the friend of mine studied anthropology so she was able to identify some of the bones.
 

bob saunders

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I 've been to at least 50 funerals here in Jarabacoa and I've never seen them cut up a coffin yet. I asked my wife just now and she's not familiar with the practise. Both graveyards here have fulltime attendants and watchmen that are city employees. She said she's never heard of any grave robbers here, but certainly it must be different where Matilda lives.
 

dv8

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i have heard of coffin slicing before, not from matilda. i think this practice may be more common in rural areas, with small cemeteries where there are no watchmen. i know some people would hire someone to look after the grave for a few days.

an idea of re-using the coffin is very "green". both figuratively and, after few days, literally as well.
 

Rep Dom

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Dec 27, 2011
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Do you mean some poeple might take the corpse outta the coffin, leave it there and then go away with the coffin...
To do what? sell it? re use it?
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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I've never heard of cutting up a coffin either. When my father died in Bonao, i accidently buried him in the front yard underneath a huge mango tree, but the next day i had to dig him back up and take him down to a mausoleum. It was hard work. Probably the hardest physical work i've ever done in my life; there were tree roots everywhere,anyway, and they were nearly impossible to cut through them all. Even our dogs helped me undig him. It's a long story involving a misunderstanding. But i never seen any coffins cut up. The only difference was that my father's coffin was full of red soil on the outside when i brought it to the cemetery. it' looked like i tried to paint it red. I tried to hose it down with water, but the red soil was nearly impossibly to get off.

Frank
 

Matilda

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Sep 13, 2006
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jaz0no.jpg


Matilda
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Looks like they're simply breaking off the handles to prevent people from trying to lift the casket out of the ground. I didn't know what people meant by breaking up the casket...I envisioned someone taking an ax to the casket and chopping it up like firewood.

Frank
 

bronzeallspice

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Do you mean some poeple might take the corpse outta the coffin, leave it there and then go away with the coffin...
To do what? sell it? re use it?

that is exactly what tomb raiders do and sell the coffin.