Your Wife, Girlfriend, Has A Debt With Coworker? How Do You Handle This As Her Man??

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skynet

Bronze
Aug 25, 2013
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Need some DR experience here for I have no clue what people can arrange in borrowing money..Meaning, Contract killings, Mafia ties, etc, because something stinks here!!

Okay, my girl borrowed some money after he EX of 8 Years split on her taking everything with him, but of course left her to pay all debts. How does a woman do that being alone and only earning so much per Month, you know the deal here in the DR, 10,000 a Month or 30,000 at best in most cases. So, She borrowed some money long before we got together. She agreed to pay 4,000 a Month, but there is interest attached to this..No idea how its figured in, but of course its 4,000!! Meaning, she pays 4,000 and nothing hits the so called principal.. This so called friend will follow her to the ATM in making sure she gets her money..Or if not, she will call and call, I'm serious, the calls do not stop until she answers...Now, my girl happens to be the President Executive Secretary at her job, oversees about 15 other workers, so really, she is this girl's boss.

However, This girl will make a scene on the job every time if my Girl is late with her money..Its very , very stressful for her..As of now, my girl has paid 14,000 over what was owed, should be done with and I don't care any longer what agreement they had, where's the paper/contract, natta!! was all verbal! if this was a dude, I would have gone there to see how my size 14 shoe fit his arse! I advised my girl to go to her boss and explain what's going on...I would not accept this behavior in my department for one second! OUT you go...

So, I don't know how I can help her here..I want some damn peace in my home for a change for we have been going through a lot lately..Nothing wrong with us as a couple, just many issues..If this was some what of the beginning, then I would just pay it off to the amount that was borrowed period, nothing more..But again, its past the amount that was borrowed by 14,000!! Enough is enough! and just so you know, I really don't want to mention names here in case you're wondering why I wrote this as I did..

All that said, can my girl be in trouble here?? She gets very nervous when she cannot pay this SOB on time, just very strange and I'm sick of seeing her that way..What would you do if this was your wife or girlfriend? Are there Shark Lenders here? Maybe this person is afilated with one, how and where did she get the money to lend comes to my mind.. I just don't know, hoping some of you has some knowledge on a few possibilities. I just don't see this as a friend lending her money, hard to say...

Thank You

Skynet
 

rice&beans

Silver
May 16, 2010
4,293
374
83
Need some DR experience here for I have no clue what people can arrange in borrowing money..Meaning, Contract killings, Mafia ties, etc, because something stinks here!!

Okay, my girl borrowed some money after he EX of 8 Years split on her taking everything with him, but of course left her to pay all debts. How does a woman do that being alone and only earning so much per Month, you know the deal here in the DR, 10,000 a Month or 30,000 at best in most cases. So, She borrowed some money long before we got together. She agreed to pay 4,000 a Month, but there is interest attached to this..No idea how its figured in, but of course its 4,000!! Meaning, she pays 4,000 and nothing hits the so called principal.. This so called friend will follow her to the ATM in making sure she gets her money..Or if not, she will call and call, I'm serious, the calls do not stop until she answers...Now, my girl happens to be the President Executive Secretary at her job, oversees about 15 other workers, so really, she is this girl's boss.

However, This girl will make a scene on the job every time if my Girl is late with her money..Its very , very stressful for her..As of now, my girl has paid 14,000 over what was owed, should be done with and I don't care any longer what agreement they had, where's the paper/contract, natta!! was all verbal! if this was a dude, I would have gone there to see how my size 14 shoe fit his arse! I advised my girl to go to her boss and explain what's going on...I would not accept this behavior in my department for one second! OUT you go...

So, I don't know how I can help her here..I want some damn peace in my home for a change for we have been going through a lot lately..Nothing wrong with us as a couple, just many issues..If this was some what of the beginning, then I would just pay it off to the amount that was borrowed period, nothing more..But again, its past the amount that was borrowed by 14,000!! Enough is enough! and just so you know, I really don't want to mention names here in case you're wondering why I wrote this as I did..

All that said, can my girl be in trouble here?? She gets very nervous when she cannot pay this SOB on time, just very strange and I'm sick of seeing her that way..What would you do if this was your wife or girlfriend? Are there Shark Lenders here? Maybe this person is afilated with one, how and where did she get the money to lend comes to my mind.. I just don't know, hoping some of you has some knowledge on a few possibilities. I just don't see this as a friend lending her money, hard to say...

Thank You

Skynet



You're entertaining, I'll give you that......
 

malko

Campesino !! :)
Jan 12, 2013
5,545
1,327
113
In my short experience with dominicans and loans, here in dr but also abroad in europe, it is very different from what we call loans.
Example, if u borrow ( or loan depending on what side of the fence u are ) say 20 000 pesos, every month u pay 10% so in this case 2000 pesos, as long as u havent paid back the capital, here 20 000pesos.
So if ure girlfiend borrowed 40 000 pesos and has only paid back 4000 a month than until she pays back the 40 000 in a lump sum, she still has to pay 4000 a month........
I was shocked at first and told people they would bebetter off taking a loan out the bank, but of course here in dr its not an option( and in europe most dominicans do not have a legal job or good enough salaries to go to banks). Yeah I know it sucks but there u go...
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,847
29
48
Well, if nothing else, brother, you got a book in you, maybe two or three. With your DR experiences accumulating at this pace, you may have a trilogy. Hell, i would be the first to purchase them.

Chop, chop...get writing! They're entertaining!

Love Frank
 

bluemoonnyc

New member
Oct 4, 2007
362
10
0
wait a minute here... a dominicana is causing drama in your life?
this has to be a first, call dominican today or hoy, they would be interested. as for the rest of us, i do not think anyone is surprised. so either 1-dump her and move on or 2- pay it for her, its less than $1,000,you'll be her hero, for a while, but please figure it out on your own..

Need some DR experience here for I have no clue what people can arrange in borrowing money..Meaning, Contract killings, Mafia ties, etc, because something stinks here!!

Okay, my girl borrowed some money after he EX of 8 Years split on her taking everything with him, but of course left her to pay all debts. How does a woman do that being alone and only earning so much per Month, you know the deal here in the DR, 10,000 a Month or 30,000 at best in most cases. So, She borrowed some money long before we got together. She agreed to pay 4,000 a Month, but there is interest attached to this..No idea how its figured in, but of course its 4,000!! Meaning, she pays 4,000 and nothing hits the so called principal.. This so called friend will follow her to the ATM in making sure she gets her money..Or if not, she will call and call, I'm serious, the calls do not stop until she answers...Now, my girl happens to be the President Executive Secretary at her job, oversees about 15 other workers, so really, she is this girl's boss.

However, This girl will make a scene on the job every time if my Girl is late with her money..Its very , very stressful for her..As of now, my girl has paid 14,000 over what was owed, should be done with and I don't care any longer what agreement they had, where's the paper/contract, natta!! was all verbal! if this was a dude, I would have gone there to see how my size 14 shoe fit his arse! I advised my girl to go to her boss and explain what's going on...I would not accept this behavior in my department for one second! OUT you go...

So, I don't know how I can help her here..I want some damn peace in my home for a change for we have been going through a lot lately..Nothing wrong with us as a couple, just many issues..If this was some what of the beginning, then I would just pay it off to the amount that was borrowed period, nothing more..But again, its past the amount that was borrowed by 14,000!! Enough is enough! and just so you know, I really don't want to mention names here in case you're wondering why I wrote this as I did..

All that said, can my girl be in trouble here?? She gets very nervous when she cannot pay this SOB on time, just very strange and I'm sick of seeing her that way..What would you do if this was your wife or girlfriend? Are there Shark Lenders here? Maybe this person is afilated with one, how and where did she get the money to lend comes to my mind.. I just don't know, hoping some of you has some knowledge on a few possibilities. I just don't see this as a friend lending her money, hard to say...

Thank You

Skynet
 

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
11,009
2
38
You need to sit down with your girlfriend and find out why she borrowed that amount of
money, what debts she owed. I'm having a hard time believing that her EX took every
thing with him and left her with all the debts, what debts? With 8 years of living together
she was entitled to half.

If you believe that she should've been done paying the amount owed then something
is not right and she may not have told you the truth and she borrowed more than what
she's telling you.

The best thing for you would be to speak with her friend(the borrower) and find out
exactly how much she borrowed. The reason why she keeps going to her job and
follows her at the ATM machine is because the majority of Dominicans are notorious
for not paying back when borrowing money.(speaking from personal experience)
 

RGLRM

New member
Jun 25, 2013
37
0
0
Frank I think you should be the ghost writer for these episodes! I would definitely buy them. OK if there is no paperwork or contract then there is nothing legal you need to worry about. Like the police coming and cleaning out your house or apartment of all the stuff. If that is the case then you are only dealing with Dominican drama which can be mild or extreme. If you are going to stop paying, then depending on who the coworker is associated with, you can imagine what the most extreme case could be. The mild drama of phone calls and being followed and harassing language could be addressed directly by explaining there is no legal basis and the loan is paid off. Most likely that won't work or you will have to fight back against the mild drama for awhile. If you are going to try and pay off the loan you should definitely have legal papers drawn up so there is no question the loan is paid and you can show it to the police if the coworker tries to create more drama. Hope this helps and buenas suerte!
 

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
11,009
2
38
You need to sit down with your girlfriend and find out why she borrowed that amount of
money, what debts she owed. I'm having a hard time believing that her EX took every
thing with him and left her with all the debts, what debts? With 8 years of living together
she was entitled to half.

If you believe that she should've been done paying the amount owed then something
is not right and she may not have told you the truth and she borrowed more than what
she's telling you.

The best thing for you would be to speak with her friend(the borrower) and find out
exactly how much she borrowed. The reason why she keeps going to her job and
follows her at the ATM machine is because the majority of Dominicans are notorious
for not paying back when borrowing money.(speaking from personal experience)

I just realized I made a mistake and was too late to edit:it should read the lender not the borrower.:)

Do not pay a dime until you find out exactly what's going on. Go to your girlfriend's
job and speak with the girl since they work together.
 
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Jumbo

Bronze
Jul 8, 2005
1,503
94
48
They're entertaining!

Love Frank

You really think so? I find it painful to read. Complaining about a culture that is not his. But he does start out saying he has no clue so i give him that.

OP, as stated by malko, your girl is paying the vig on the loan. It is the job of the collector to hound the sh!t out of your girl. She needs her % for arranging the loan. I suggest hide the TV and computer if she falls behind.
 

JMB773

Silver
Nov 4, 2011
2,625
0
0
Need some DR experience here for I have no clue what people can arrange in borrowing money..Meaning, Contract killings, Mafia ties, etc, because something stinks here!!

Okay, my girl borrowed some money after he EX of 8 Years split on her taking everything with him, but of course left her to pay all debts. How does a woman do that being alone and only earning so much per Month, you know the deal here in the DR, 10,000 a Month or 30,000 at best in most cases. So, She borrowed some money long before we got together. She agreed to pay 4,000 a Month, but there is interest attached to this..No idea how its figured in, but of course its 4,000!! Meaning, she pays 4,000 and nothing hits the so called principal.. This so called friend will follow her to the ATM in making sure she gets her money..Or if not, she will call and call, I'm serious, the calls do not stop until she answers...Now, my girl happens to be the President Executive Secretary at her job, oversees about 15 other workers, so really, she is this girl's boss.

However, This girl will make a scene on the job every time if my Girl is late with her money..Its very , very stressful for her..As of now, my girl has paid 14,000 over what was owed, should be done with and I don't care any longer what agreement they had, where's the paper/contract, natta!! was all verbal! if this was a dude, I would have gone there to see how my size 14 shoe fit his arse! I advised my girl to go to her boss and explain what's going on...I would not accept this behavior in my department for one second! OUT you go...

So, I don't know how I can help her here..I want some damn peace in my home for a change for we have been going through a lot lately..Nothing wrong with us as a couple, just many issues..If this was some what of the beginning, then I would just pay it off to the amount that was borrowed period, nothing more..But again, its past the amount that was borrowed by 14,000!! Enough is enough! and just so you know, I really don't want to mention names here in case you're wondering why I wrote this as I did..

All that said, can my girl be in trouble here?? She gets very nervous when she cannot pay this SOB on time, just very strange and I'm sick of seeing her that way..What would you do if this was your wife or girlfriend? Are there Shark Lenders here? Maybe this person is afilated with one, how and where did she get the money to lend comes to my mind.. I just don't know, hoping some of you has some knowledge on a few possibilities. I just don't see this as a friend lending her money, hard to say...

Thank You

Skynet

My advice will be to STAY OUT OF IT!!!! You stated yourself it is between your GF and her co worker. You are not involved in the equation , so why would you want to put yourself in the middle of it.

BTW You watch too many movies, the co worker just want her money and she is just making sure your GF can't give some lame ass excuse why she can't pay.

Why is it so many "Knights in Shining Amor" in DR dressed up in a gringo costumes???
 

Jumbo

Bronze
Jul 8, 2005
1,503
94
48
My advice will be to STAY OUT OF IT!!!! You stated yourself it is between your GF and her co worker. You are not involved in the equation , so why would you want to put yourself in the middle of it.

BTW You watch too many movies, the co worker just want her money and she is just making sure your GF can't give some lame ass excuse why she can't pay.

Why is it so many "Knights in Shining Amor" in DR dressed up in a gringo costumes???

WOW, where did that come from. I actually agree with JMB. Pigs must be flying.
 

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
11,009
2
38
Skynet, I hate to tell you this but your girl has a lot of baggage! Were you aware of this when you met her or was this something that popped up later on.
 

delite

Bronze
Oct 17, 2006
2,022
0
0
Ant,

Bro you need to have a serious talk with Antonia because if this loan is causing her stress, this is going to affect your relationship. Her health can be compromised physically, emotionally and mentally.

My many trips to the DR, I've learned that this type of arrangement is common place among the lower classes. For example, I have a prominent business owner as a friend in Santiago who is a close of mine. I asked him once,"besides our business here, what alternative venture you could recommend to me here." He told me "to be a money lender."

Of course, the first thought that came to my head is "Delite" you're going to be in a lot of trouble and possibly killed because this sounds dangerous. Then he explained that he was referring to the common man in the streets - that business is dangerous and ubiquitous. He was referring to screened associates seeking to purchase homes, without going to the bank for a loan, for example. He said this is a lucrative venture as there are many clients in need. I, however, thought about it carefully and decided to move on.

Getting back to the man in the street...Lending money to people in need is a dangerous and rewarding business at the same time. They're called "prestamistas" and normally the boss (el jefe) would employ a few middle aged Dominicanas to be the front people. She is responsible for the collections and the harassing phone calls to the borrower and is compensated for her efforts. If, for some reason, a payment is due, she would visit home, work, university, supermarket, etc. - wherever you are to enforce the idea that being in default isn't a good idea.

If this fails, a direct call from the chief would be the next option. This is a serious phase because this entails a lot of threats of bodily injury. I don't know if you realize this but many kidnappings of children and adults occurs due to the debts in arrears. Children are killed in the process, like wise adults. The prestamistas are also targeted because it's cheaper to pay a drog addict in the barrio to bump him/her off than to pay the debt outstanding.

Talk with her and investigate everything thoroughly. Like Bronzy stated, something seems amiss especially regarding the ex husband. As you know, the worst thing for us men is being unaware of a situation. If you're warned or told, it's easier to prepare for any outcomes. Being unaware and having to confront a situation like this is scary to say the least.
Maybe the reason for her apprehension is because she was threatened possibly physically.

I hope things work out and you're able to understand what is happening. A lot of drama in your life bro!
 
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delite

Bronze
Oct 17, 2006
2,022
0
0
Ant,

Bro you need to have a serious talk with Antonia because if this loan is causing her stress, this is going to affect your relationship. Her health can be compromised physically, emotionally and mentally.

My many trips to the DR, I've learned that this type of arrangement is common place among the lower classes. For example, I have a prominent business owner as a friend in Santiago who is a close of mine. I asked him once,"besides our business here, what alternative venture you could recommend to me here." He told me "to be a money lender."

Of course, the first thought that came to my head is "Delite" you're going to be in a lot of trouble and possibly killed because this sounds dangerous. Then he explained that he was referring to the common man in the streets - that business is dangerous and ubiquitous. He was referring to screened associates seeking to purchase homes, without going to the bank for a loan, for example. He said this is a lucrative venture as there are many clients in need. I, however, thought about it carefully and decided to move on.

Getting back to the man in the street...Lending money to people in need is a dangerous and rewarding business at the same time. They're called "prestamistas" and normally the boss (el jefe) would employ a few middle aged Dominicanas to be the front people. She is responsible for the collections and the harassing phone calls to the borrower and is compensated for her efforts. If, for some reason, a payment is due, she would visit home, work, university, supermarket, etc. - wherever you are to enforce the idea that being in default isn't a good idea.

If this fails, a direct call from the chief would be the next option. This is a serious phase because this entails a lot of threats of bodily injury. I don't know if you realize this but many kidnappings of children and adults occurs due to the debts in arrears. Children are killed in the process, like wise adults. The prestamistas are also targeted because it's cheaper to pay a drog addict in the barrio to bump him/her off than to pay the debt outstanding.

Talk with her and investigate everything thoroughly. Like Bronzy stated, something seems amiss especially regarding the ex husband. As you know, the worst thing for us men is being unaware of a situation. If you're warned or told, it's easier to prepare for any outcomes. Being unaware and having to confront a situation like this is scary to say the least.
Maybe the reason for her apprehension is because she was threatened possibly physically.

I hope things work out and you're able to understand what is happening. A lot of drama in your life bro!
 
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the gorgon

Platinum
Sep 16, 2010
33,997
83
0
first rule of thumb; do not borrow money from people whom you supervise on a job...tacky, tacky. people who do not have that one figured out should be avoided like the plague. they need some personal adjustments, which you should not assume as a chore.
 

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
11,009
2
38
I remember years ago a couple that I new personally in the DR, they were very poor and the husband
decided to take out a loan from a prestamista. Everything was okay at first, he was making regular
payments and then he lost his job. They came to his house demanding payment and since he didn't
have the money would always say come back next week and I will have the money. This went on for
about a month. One day 4 men showed up at his house and when yet made another excuse they told
him it's okay take your time (patting him on the back) let's go over to this bar and talk it over some
cervezas.They managed to sweet talk him and the biggest mistake he did was to get in the car.They
drove to an isolated place heading towards un campo and they stabbed him to death.

I was then living in the states and my father told me that when he went to the funeral and viewed
the body, his facial expression was frozen in a state of agony.
 

JayinRD

Member
Apr 18, 2013
411
11
18
The best advice I have for this one is the current treatment for Bipolar Disorder ..Manic phase is a mood stabilizer. An old line inexpensive medication such as Lithium works great. SSRIs, if you are on one, are contraindicated.
 
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La Rubia

Bronze
Jan 1, 2010
1,336
28
0
If this fails, a direct call from the chief would be the next option. This is a serious phase because this entails a lot of threats of bodily injury. I don't know if you realize this but many kidnappings of children and adults occurs due to the debts in arrears. Children are killed in the process, like wise adults. The prestamistas are also targeted because it's cheaper to pay a drog addict in the barrio to bump him/her off than to pay the debt outstanding.

Delite, you've given some good advice, but could you clarify this.?Are you generalizing, or is this specific to the DR?I mean the part about the children? I'd agree that it can get ugly in terms of the adults, but I didn't realize it involves children in the DR. I can think of a few countries that this come to mind in, but not the DR. Please say is isn't so . . . .
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,847
29
48
I'm going to share with you a a true story. The story is indicative of what goes on everyday in the DR. It went on before you got here, it will be going on long after you and I are gone. This story is true for every poor village and small town in the DR, and it's also true for every poor country--including every country in South America, Asia, and Africa. This is a story of loans, defaults, interest rates, good intentions, and people's inadequate knowledge of math and just a simple lack of education.

1. I have a friend on the north coast. He fell in love with a beautiful Dominican girl. He bought her a small, modest house. He put the house in her name because he wanted her to feel responsible, valuable, important, and independent. After a year, she got some irresponsible advice from either friends or family, or both. She decided to take out a loan--using the house as collateral. Eventually, she defaulted on the loan. the amount was not much, maybe 25% of the home's value. When she told the Gringo that she was about to lose her house over a loan, he investigated it, and decided instead of her losing the home on such a small amount, he would simply pay it off. He felt, rightly so, that it wouldn't be prudent or right to lose a house--which was the only thing she owned--over a small loan. Despite her best efforts to stay out of debt, she took another loan on the house again a year later. Guess what? She defaulted on that loan as well. She called him, and explained the dilemma...another emergency came up, she needed money fast, so she took the loan out thinking that she could pay it off. Problem is that another emergency came up. It's true, i saw it with my own eyes. So he came back and saved her house again. She seemed to learn her lesson...for a while. Problem is that, in the Dr--and this is true for all poor countries--emergencies are constantly coming up, everyday, every month--people get sick, family members get sick, people need hospitalization, surgeries, family members die and need burying, sisters, brothers, fathers and mothers are losing their jobs--someone is always losing their job int he DR. There is absolutely no job security in the DR. None. Zero.

People get desperate, and then they need money right now to solve their problem--the father needs buried, the roof needs fixing, the car broke down again, the mother got sick and needs expensive medicine, the wife or husband is suddenly sick.

That house my friend purchased for his girlfriend ten years ago...she still has it. But guess what, every time an emergency comes up, she has to take out another loan. The house is her only collateral to put up for a loan. hence, it's her only avenue to extra money. I bet you my friend has paid for that house 4 times over now. He could have bought her a 6 bedroom house on the ocean for what this tiny house is costing him. It was stupidest thing he ever did buying a house and putting the home in her name. Every time she needs cash, the house is the only salvation to the problem. The house has become an ATM machine.

The moral of the story is that, even when you think you are helping someone out, you are in fact, maybe be putting an extra financial burden on them that they are not equipped--mentally or physically--to handle. All she has managed to do is make these Finance Banks in the DR (which are glorified loan sharks) extremely rich, while she herself, stays in a perpetual cycle of debt, its a vicious cycle. there are no winners.

Frank
 
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