I tried that once =-- the pills
We , as family were going to Europe......my aged mother, my two little girls and my wife and I -- France.
On leaving, the car never showed up after the big sendoff lunch - Bloody Mary's....... so I had to drive .... slightly looped.
We arrived so late that I had to use the short term parking .... $$$$ OUCH
We rush in to the airport , check in , yayayaya and go to the lounge ( I was a big shot then) just in the nick of time
Close to boarding
I sit back , take a 'Little Killer' and slug back a couple of rums to settle in.
After all, I need to drive on the other end in Paris traffic
As that pill is sliding down, they announce the flight to Paris has been delayed.
Whoosh, before I try sticking my finger down my throat,
I vault up to the counter to explain our situation(big shot back then, remember?)
No problem, sir.... follow me and we go to a super secret lounge.
Flight is delayed for hours...... small children, aging mother and drunk/drugged father.
I plead my case again.....
ZOOOOOM, we are switched to the Liz Taylor/Richard Burton room.... way beyond secret.
The children are put to bed, I decline the kind offer of a drink but accept two toothpicks to keep my eyes open.
Finally, we get to board.... they walk on -- I wobble on.
And take my normal turn to the right..... steerage seats
Oh no, sir--- follow me.
We are so far up front , I can hear the pilots talking, farting - whatever they do up there while the computer flies the plane.
Aaahh, relax, feet up, eyes shut........ finally.
Oh no.... my wife's sharp elbow pierces my ribs.
Are you kidding me ??? says she..... 1st class to Paris ???
CHAMPAGNE!!!
About that drive, I say.....
Leave it to me - says she
OK..... more topping for my sleeper pill...... I am goggled eyed already.
We arrive Paris and get the car..... I am still incoherent (I never take pills)
She's ready... driving gloves on
Oh No, manual transmission.......impossible for her.
The designated drunk will be the driver AGAIN.
Just a 2 1/2 hr trip sandwiched between the Frenchmen.
We made it..... just
The good news???
They upped us again on the return leg......
Living large..... like Liz and Dick
Big shot, remember?