Santo Domingo not all I thought

dr2014 · Dec 17, 2013

I just came to visit Santo Domingo to stay with my in-laws who live in Villa Consuelo. And I must say that it's not as good as I was told it was going to be. The people who live around here are pretty distant and ignore me every time I ask them a question or talk to them about anything. The only ones I talk to are the family members and I speak fluent Spanish (mixed with PR)...I don't think I come across as unfriendly but I am quiet around them (treat them how they treat me)..the in laws are very nice but always treat me different..like extra nice..and they make me feel weird all the time since I'm not used to that.

Other than that, I was always told Santo Domingo was a city that was dangerous and where people always talk to you if they see you're not Dominican and if you're dressed extra nice. I go out of the house dressed extra nice like I do back home (NY) and nothing happens, I always go out with at least someone though but no one who could do anything if someone wanted to start something...so I don't know I guess my experience isn't everything it is for others, or maybe they think I'm a white dominican, I don't know.. The only type of attention I get when I go out is looks, either checking out or dirty looks. But I get those back home as well. And it is making me think a lot because I never been ignored as much (minus all those looks) as I do until I came here. And mind you I am staying in Villa Consuelo, un barrio. So my experience is unique to this area since I just arrived last week..

But yeah, can someone explain to me how Dominicans (in DR) mentality works? I don't really think it is me because I don't have those situations elsewhere.

malko · Dec 17, 2013

Well it is easy enough to get engaged in conversation in my campo, in santiago too..... but it is the case back home in europe too.....

wrecksum · Dec 17, 2013

Hi DR 2014,
Could you give us an idea of your ethnic background? Upbringing etc.?
Spanish, latino gringo etc.? Would be easier to figure out for us mixed up folks.

(This is DR 1. Please don't expect too much intelligent advice,
but the other sort? Boy do we have plenty...)

Harleysrock · Dec 17, 2013

I have only been to SD a handful of times but I didn't find it dangerous and I found people very friendly but my wife and I are huge goofs look people in the eye and are quite friendly and to be fair we are odd since we both have many tats so people are very interested in us.

I don't think dressing nice has anything to do with people talking to you since I never dress nice here and get talked to a lot.
I am assuming since it is a big City that people may not be as friendly as smaller towns etc?

My advice would to be really friendly, chat people up and be yourself. Speaking Spanish is a HUGE help!

Are you dressing too nice and flashing bling about?

Some Dominicans have told me they are skeptical of Gringos b/c of the way they have been treated by them and I have seen some rude Gringos! I don't blame them at all for feeling that way!!

dr2014 · Dec 17, 2013

wrecksum said:
Hi DR 2014,
Could you give us an idea of your ethnic background? Upbringing etc.?
Spanish, latino gringo etc.? Would be easier to figure out for us mixed up folks.

(This is DR 1. Please don't expect too much intelligent advice,
but the other sort? Boy do we have plenty...)

I am Israeli on my mom side and my dad was Puerto Rican. I was raised by mom so therefore act more like her side as well. I do know Spanish though and understand the culture. And it comes out of me at times lol. But compared to Dominicans I am very calm.

mofongoloco · Dec 17, 2013

DR2014, you are a lucky guy. The only time I get ignored in the DR is when waiting on a line to make a purchase. I recently spent a month in Colombia and not once did a stranger approach me with "my fren."well, except to ask for one of my american cigarettes. People could smell the difference in the tobaco. And that only happened a couple of times.

frank recktenwald · Dec 17, 2013

dr2014 said:
I am Israeli on my mom side and my dad was Puerto Rican. I was raised by mom so therefore act more like her side as well. I do know Spanish though and understand the culture. And it comes out of me at times lol. But compared to Dominicans I am very calm.

There you go!
The Dominicans are one of the friendliest people I have met but you have to open up first.
Maybe act more like your dad?

Castle · Dec 17, 2013

By dominican standards, SD can be considered dangerous. But still, I don't find it to be so. I know there are dangers so I never let my guard down, but there is a lot of paranoia floating around. You stayed in one of the most "dangerous" areas of SD. Villa Consuelo is full of clothing stores and thieves are always hanging around waiting for anybody to get distracted, and still you didn't feel unsafe, so I guess that pretty much gives you an idea. Don't get overconfident, though, that's when sh!t happens.

Contango · Dec 17, 2013

UZI Does it my friend.. :smoke:

Harleysrock · Dec 17, 2013

mofongoloco said:
DR2014, you are a lucky guy. The only time I get ignored in the DR is when waiting on a line to make a purchase. I recently spent a month in Colombia and not once did a stranger approach me with "my fren."well, except to ask for one of my american cigarettes. People could smell the difference in the tobaco. And that only happened a couple of times.

That is so funny I was thinking the same thing, when I am in a bad mood I really don't want to be talked to! I friggin tell them I'm in a bad mood and don't want to be talked to and they still go on and on!

dv8 says she has this look and people don't bother her! I am going to have to ask her for help with this!

Mauricio · Dec 17, 2013

Frank is right. I am (was) a shy guy. I never had much contact with Dominicans. They would tell my wife that I was very arrogant, not wanting to talk to them, etc. I learned to open up here in DR, even though I am still not the most spontaneous person, at least not to strangers, but Dominicans definitely wait till you open up, and will easily think you don't want to talk to them when you are shy or calm.

pauleast · Dec 17, 2013

wrecksum said:
Hi DR 2014,
Could you give us an idea of your ethnic background? Upbringing etc.?
Spanish, latino gringo etc.? Would be easier to figure out for us mixed up folks.

(This is DR 1. Please don't expect too much intelligent advice,
but the other sort? Boy do we have plenty...)

If the shoe fits.................

Lando calrisian · Dec 17, 2013

Get outta Villa Consuelo!
Go to La Duarte con Paris.

Let me know if you still feel safe, let me know if ppl didn't talk to you.
Ask your fellow Boricua CC how to get Domo's to open up, he's been good at it fer years.....
(I went to Jerusalem, it felt safe especially with all the Israelis packin heat, and the Palestinians locked up in their pens)
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Criss Colon · Dec 17, 2013

"Bad Breath"??????
Go to the nearest Colmado, put a few "Grandes" on the counter, and you will have mo "My Frens" than you ever WANTED!!!!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
Dominicanos don't especially like "PRs"!
"WE" don't need a VISA to get where they can only dream of going!!!
"Visa Envy"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smart · Dec 17, 2013

What kind attension do you want, you are doing well, imo, staying under radar es best for foreigners.

Doms keep to themselves unless you or they are drunk, they do so for a reason, learn from it and only involve yourself with those you know.

Harleysrock · Dec 17, 2013

Smart said:
What kind attension do you want, you are doing well, imo, staying under radar es best for foreigners.

Doms keep to themselves unless you or they are drunk, they do so for a reason, learn from it and only involve yourself with those you know.

Keep to themselves?? I have not found this at all!!
Some people like to have interactions with people they don't know, I learn a lot from strangers and have a lot of fun with the locals. I guess it depends on how you were brought up and your personality?

I don't even speak Spanish fluently and have convos with Spanish speaking only peeps!

Neither way is wrong, everyone is different.

OP if you want to chat with locals....START CHATTING and smile!

Smart · Dec 17, 2013

It has nothing to do with upbringing, i justo find 90% of time some stranger tries to befreind me, if i let them in eventually they let me down, or try to at least. Even un Europe, if someone comes up to me starts a conversation as if they know me, i stand off. Clubs and bars are different, people are drinking, everyone either loves you por hates you, anyne will talk crap with anyone.

And sure, the country has enough people to be your friend, if that is what he wants.

My basic rule is i dont make friends with people poorer than me, or at least is hard workin, prdferably a decent job.

Harleysrock · Dec 17, 2013

For me it has a lot to do with upbringing. My G'pa and uncle always talked up strangers so naturally I do the same.

keepcoming · Dec 17, 2013

Santo Domingo is similar to other large cities, good areas, bad areas, etc... Sometimes the less attention, the better. A simple hello sometimes will strike up a conversation. Remember just as you are leery of them, they are leery of you.

Smart · Dec 18, 2013

Harleysrock said:
For me it has a lot to do with upbringing. My G'pa and uncle always talked up strangers so naturally I do the same.

Thats the reason for our difference of opinion, i dont and cant live as assured as i do back in Europe, im an alien h?re, things and people are less predictable, people have alot of work to do before they get pint? my perimeter. Uless as stated they have nothing to gain, which es rarely the case.

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