Get in Where You Fit In

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RG84

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May 21, 2010
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No, not talking about the Too Short CD.

For those that have lived here for a year or more or have visited over the years, where do you fit in Dominican society or do you?

Do you invite Dominicans over to your house; do you meet at neighborhood colomados, drink, restaurants, or events to hang out?

Do you keep to yourself or socialize only with other expats and people from your home country?
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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european girl i know here reflected lately how one thinks that the height of dominican lifestyle is drinking a beer in front of the colmado. then, years later you realize you want to be in ritmo social :)

i don't hang out with dominicans apart from the family nor do i socialize exclusively with gringos. i'm not very social in general but pressed to make a choice i'd rather spend time with other foreigners. i probably don't fit well in the dominican society but i don't care much about it. good thing about being a foreigner is that you can easily get away with being a misfit.
 

AlterEgo

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We're related to most of the Dominicans who are invited to our house. Mr. AE has a large family, and even his friends who visit are like family. We're not social animals otherwise. Mr. AE has always been rather a loner; he's rarely found drinking a beer at a colmado, and since I'm not a drinker at all, you'll only see me there buying stuff for the house in-between trips to La Sirena in San Cristobal.

Maybe if we lived in SD, or someplace with neighbors that we had something in common with, it would be different.

As far as expats, I have one friend from NYC who lives in SD - she actually introduced me to Mr. AE back in '75.

We've met several DR1ers over the years [including you RG84 - twice!], and I consider several of them good friends.
 

malko

Campesino !! :)
Jan 12, 2013
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Here in the campo I fit in quite well....... I like to keep to myself, as I did back home. But since I am a "guest" in the dr, I do my bit......
Coffee with inlaws and neighbors, usally on their porch 25 cm off the road.......
Of course at xmas or birthdays we have family and friends around...... from time to time, cook a pig or chicken on outside fire and everyone joins in..
People still think I am a loner. In my experience dominicans dont not what to do withthemselves on their own...... so they are also inand out of each others houses..... a big no no for me.

Even though I understand our friends from santiago, better than in the campo, I just cant be bothered with show off attitude. Concerts, clubs and such are not my thing. But I do give in to my wife from time to time.

I hardly ever meet expats.........
Only foreigners are friends from abroad that we meet here or that come to visit.........
 

Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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Like "AE", and "dv", those who come here to visit are about 95% plus family.
We have "Extended Family Pot Luck Night" here every Wed. for 15 to 25 family members, and girl/boy friends too.
The very few others are "DR1ers",..."Yea", and two or 3 "Gringo" long time friends from here in the DR, and a guy I went to high school with 49 years ago in Toledo Ohio!
I invited him here about 20 years ago, and he "Went Native"!
My kids have Dominican friends from school here almost every day, and go to movies and "Country Clubs" with them some weekends.
I'm sure their "Social Circle" will be mostly "Dominicanos" as they grow older.
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
"There Goes The Neighborhood"!
 

RG84

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May 21, 2010
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Hey, I'm not prejudice!!
Party, food and drinks for free I don't care whether it's paid for by a foreigner or Dominican.
So where do I fit in?
Who frikking cares :bunny:

Heyyyy didn't meant for this to be an "all Dominicans do here is drink" thread. Was just wondering after reading the thread about what is middle class in DR, do most expats hang around these middle class, upper class, or what ever you want to classify them as. People usually hang with like minded people or go it alone.

Always a pleasure seeing you alter ego. How's the new power plant working out?
 

caribmike

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Jul 9, 2009
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"...do most expats hang around these middle class, upper class..."

:p (cough)

Dunno, but i. E. reading many "romance stories" here I would say not...
 

Criss Colon

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"Los Ricos", are a bigger pain in the A$$ than the "Pobres"!
I stated many years ago, that if a foreigner lives here in the DR, his "Circle Of Friends" becomes smaller & smaller.
All those who you THOUGHT were your friends at the beginning, one by one, screw you, take advantage of you, cheat you, owe you money, I KNOW, but THA'T's a lesson we all had to learn,steal from you, or just have way to much "Drama", and you dump them.
Best way to get ride of a "Pseudo Dominican Amigo", is stop buying, loaning, giving them ANYTHING!
Just like cockroaches, they will leave if there's no more "FOOD"!
In the end, that usually leaves a FEW family members, not ALL, because some will fit the above "Losers" category, but a few will be "KEEPERS"!
Family is important, because without family, who will bring you "Soup" and sleep in a chair beside you when you are "Interna"?????
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
 

RG84

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May 21, 2010
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CC are you saying the rich beg and borrow money also, or is it that they are so "above it all" they are not the type of people you want to know?
 

AlterEgo

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Always a pleasure seeing you alter ego. How's the new power plant working out?

Still waiting for the control panel to be replaced, no one could fix it. :cry:

A new one has been ordered.

But when we finally have it up and running, look out world!
 

AlterEgo

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CC are you saying the rich beg and borrow money also, or is it that they are so "above it all" they are not the type of people you want to know?

Hmmmm, they don't beg, but they do borrow. In our case, it's when they can't get enough dollars for a business purchase usually - sometimes there just isn't enough available. We've lent thousands of dollars at a time to one BIL who has a business that imports merchandise in dollars, and we always get every penny back.
 

Contango

Banned
Dec 27, 2010
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Like "AE", and "dv", those who come here to visit are about 95% plus family.
We have "Extended Family Pot Luck Night" here every Wed. for 15 to 25 family members, and girl/boy friends too.
The very few others are "DR1ers",..."Yea", and two or 3 "Gringo" long time friends from here in the DR, and a guy I went to high school with 49 years ago in Toledo Ohio!
I invited him here about 20 years ago, and he "Went Native"!
My kids have Dominican friends from school here almost every day, and go to movies and "Country Clubs" with them some weekends.
I'm sure their "Social Circle" will be mostly "Dominicanos" as they grow older.
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
"There Goes The Neighborhood"!

"Country Clubs"? Wow you guys are really keeping up with the Dominican Joneses. :D
 

Contango

Banned
Dec 27, 2010
2,196
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Here in the campo I fit in quite well....... I like to keep to myself, as I did back home. But since I am a "guest" in the dr, I do my bit......
Coffee with inlaws and neighbors, usally on their porch 25 cm off the road.......
Of course at xmas or birthdays we have family and friends around...... from time to time, cook a pig or chicken on outside fire and everyone joins in..
People still think I am a loner. In my experience dominicans dont not what to do withthemselves on their own...... so they are also inand out of each others houses..... a big no no for me.

Even though I understand our friends from santiago, better than in the campo, I just cant be bothered with show off attitude. Concerts, clubs and such are not my thing. But I do give in to my wife from time to time.

I hardly ever meet expats.........
Only foreigners are friends from abroad that we meet here or that come to visit.........

I can't imagine being "white" and living in the Campo. Moving target. If Black it might be a little bit less stressful. I'm just wondering if you look more like a Dominican respectively?
 

RV429

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Apr 3, 2011
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Fish, that sounds lonely. I can probably say I have more Dominican friends than in the U.S. but it's hard to count as so many years have passed. I enjoy all the HUGE family of my kids, the BIL's are my bro's after all these years. I don't get treated Gringo style because I won't allow it. I can play Dominoes and do enjoy the passing of the rum bottle. It did take me years to get into that groove but it's much more enjoyable as I don't have to deal with tourists or gringos. Just friendly real DR people that I know well.

I live with a lady and her 2 unmarried kids. The daughter is married and on Saturday night she arrives ( I drive and pick her up with the baby walker and the playpen) and she attends English classes on Sunday AM for half the day while we take care of the baby. He's 6 months old. Other than that my lady doesn't understand the idea of eating out. WE can stop for a pizza and she still cooks when we get home! But our house is always full of people. Her (Our) neighbors cmoe by and sit and play dominoes and or cards. I sit and play at my computer. I have a couple of gringo friends that I see maybe one of them each week.
Der Fish
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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I can't imagine being "white" and living in the Campo. Moving target. If Black it might be a little bit less stressful. I'm just wondering if you look more like a Dominican respectively?

I am white and I live in the campo. All my neighbours are white Dominicans! Where I live the Dominicans are all pure Spanish descendants. I socialise with them all day long. No expats here but expats come to visit when they want to get away from the heat of the coast or the city.

Matilda
 

AlterEgo

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Jan 9, 2009
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I can't imagine being "white" and living in the Campo. Moving target. If Black it might be a little bit less stressful. I'm just wondering if you look more like a Dominican respectively?

No issues at all with being white in the campo. Maybe because I've been coming here to this campo for almost 40 years, and my husband since he was a small boy. Everyone else here are very black Dominicans and some Haitians.
 

malko

Campesino !! :)
Jan 12, 2013
5,545
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I can't imagine being "white" and living in the Campo. Moving target. If Black it might be a little bit less stressful. I'm just wondering if you look more like a Dominican respectively?

Blond and blue eyed....... never had any trouble. Small village. Respect everyone,respected back. Never lend.
High walls and big dogs, mind u.
 

Drperson

Well-known member
Sep 19, 2008
1,061
290
83
No, not talking about the Too Short CD.

For those that have lived here for a year or more or have visited over the years, where do you fit in Dominican society or do you?

Do you invite Dominicans over to your house; do you meet at neighborhood colomados, drink, restaurants, or events to hang out?

Do you keep to yourself or socialize only with other expats and people from your home country?

I wonder how many long time foreigners have settled in " successfully" without long term partners. It seems like most have a permanent relationship.
 

Mauricio

Gold
Nov 18, 2002
5,607
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We do invite socialize with Dominicans. More often non-family than family. Family get-togethers are 99% at the Godfather's house, I mean my parents in law's house. With birthdays of the children the family does pass by.

Friends are mostly Dominicans, very few foreigners. They're mostly just like us in 'class terms', no one is rich, but don't need to borrow money from me, aren't trying to get a free ride. Sometimes a movie with some friends, this week a trip to Pico Duarte with an enormous group of Dominicans. Do I fit in? Not completely and I'm not trying to, I'm not very spontaneous or talkative, but I'm fluent in Dominican Spanish which helps to be accepted. No special treatment as a foreigner. But I'll never feel Dominican or try to be one.

I must say I have hardly any experience of a close Dominican (relative or friend) that tries to take advantage of me. But I don't make friends very easy, maybe that filters the cockroaches out (both here and in my country).
 
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