For Long Term or Extended Rental Ex-Pats

L

LindseyKaufman

Silver
Aug 21, 2007
3,062
2,024
113
In light of the recent thread regarding concern for a fellow ex-pat who has had a trying month, losing his wife and working to sell his house to return to his home country, I think we should take a lesson. First, let me say to Bob K a thank you for your concern and your post. It is individuals like you that we need here.

And the point of it all is that we should all be Bob K's.

If you have lived here for an extended time, at any moment, crisis could hit. Car accident. Robbery. Medical crisis. Theft. Murder. Financial crisis.

Our deepest problems and secrets, we never tell.

Should something happen, who would care? Who would come to our rescue? Who would look for us or call or check the house to see if we had a heart attack and died? Who would post on DR1 or organize a search party?

And who would post gossip and trash?

Any of the above problems could happen to each of us, including myself. Since I live alone, Bob K's post gave me reason to think.

Wouldn't it be better if we support each other, rather than talking trash? Years ago, we knew one another on this site. We would argue, but in the end, we were friends and would organize the search party- just like Bob K did- if something happened.

I guess it is a message to me and, I hope, the rest of us to be sure to have a support system. To have people who know where to find us. Who know what our living patterns are. Our phone numbers. To know when we are happy and to get or give us help when the chips are down.

If we are going to live in this country, we need to trust no one, but love ourselves enough to make a small circle of 5 close friends.

You owe it to yourself, and so do I.

Lindsey
 
malko

malko

Campesino !! :)
Jan 12, 2013
5,560
1,344
113
Happens everywhere sadly.........

2 diffrent points I would like to comment on.

#1. Every one of us on dr1 has made the choice( at least I hope....:p ) to leave our home country and live in the dr, some like myself part time.
We should take responsibilitie.
We have left behind family and friends, but also "first world security", ie police, fire brigade, ambulance.......
Up to us to make a new "social circle" and each define our own new "security level".

#2. Which brings me to our familie and friends back home....... It may seem unfair to have them worrying back home, sometimes very far away ( ie europe in my case ).
I know my parents used to worry a lot in the beginning...... and even more after they visited for the first time!!!! Barred windows, high walls, big dogs and firearms, didnt cut it with them.......... to each there own.
The bad press the dominican republic has gotten itself in the last 5 years ( rightly or wrongly, that is not the question ), doesnt help much.....:(

So PHONE HOME as much as possible....... it helps them as much as it could help u, when the **** hits the fan........

#3. It could be a dr1 sticky thinghy thread/post.
In the style of, If I dont post here for more than 3 weeks, please check up on me......
 
C

Contango

Banned
Dec 27, 2010
2,196
5
0
I think for the uniformed reader a distinction needs to be made. There are ex pats that live amongst Dominicans in Dominican neighbourhoods in Dominican Towns. And then there are the other expats who live in golf courses and walled off compounds in resort areas... Each has its own unique set of circumstances. But the point is safety is a major concern when one lives with Dominicans in Dominican neighbourhoods and you are the sore thumb sticking out...

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, I've had a few beers this evening before the Game. But ya everyone should have some friends. I mean what's the joy in life if you have no friends. Sheesh. I like the Op's post. Cheers. Let's go Black Hawks.
 
D

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
have you noticed how many posts we had here from gossiping trash talkers saying how great it would be if we were all evil to each other and trying to tell others how to live their lives? no? oh my. that's because we do not think that everyone should be following our steps. at least the nasty posters laugh and mock the goodie goodies but never, ever attempt to bring others to the dark side. and we have cookies here, mama!

please, just stop with the preaching. don't try to warm up the charcoal briquette of my heart. everyone has support they set for themselves. i have my cats check on me daily to see if i am still breathing or it's a feast time. don't try to fix the world, it ain't broken. it clocks like it's supposed to.
 
M

mountainannie

Platinum
Dec 11, 2003
16,350
1,358
113
elizabetheames.blogspot.com
When I first arrived here, I had been exchanging emails with an American woman who lived in Las Terrenas and very much wanted me to come as we seemed to have similar outlooks on life and there were not many Yanks there at that time. After we had become, in fact, true friends, it seemed, a few weeks in, I handed her a paper in an envelope with a list of phone numbers for my family in the States and directions on who had power of attorney, will, etc, and how I wanted to be creameated etc.

It shocked her a bit as she is 20 years younger, married, with young children. But I am a senior, and living alone.

I said to her.. "It is just in case"

And there has been occasion for her to use that "just in case" just as folks here on DR1 have checked up on me and I have really apprecaited it.

Many are not married into Dominican families and may be living alone for some or part of the year.

So this is very good advice, Lindsay.

Just make sure that someone knows who to call In Case of Emergency. And perhaps be willing to step up and be a translator for family at a distance if someone ends up in the hospital or something.. and the family or friend does not speak Spanish.

That is the best that we can do for one another.
 
N

neural

New member
Dec 12, 2012
91
0
0
Nice post Lindsey. Sometimes I wonder how so many of you can endure the challenges of being an expat in the DR. I am not a frequent poster on this site, mostly because of the trash talking bullies that will bring down the most positive posts--such as
yours. The dr1 has it's entertainment value but I see the value of it's community support for both nationals and expats. Its too
bad there are so many misanthropes on this site that can do nothing but criticize. Keep up your great work Lindsey. You are
changing lives, one child at time!

Neural
 
R

ramesses

Gold
Jun 17, 2005
6,674
809
113
Good thread Lindsey.

This is one of the advantages of travelling here for a few years before making the big leap. You build up a group of friends over time. This can make your transition to the DR much easier. Peace of mind.

I personally have been travelling here for 10 years before my jump. I have a small circle of Dominican friends that I can count on. I also have a small circle of Expat friends, one who I knew back home in Canada. I think it is important to have both as both have different connections and knowledge in the event there was an event. I have a couple of neighbours that I have contact with daily...when one of us is not seen for a day...we look into it. It is out of concern for each other as we are all a bit older.

DR1 is a good rally point if something did occur. Word spreads quickly on the web.

This is all very important to me. It was one of the most important things on my list for moving here.
 
V

Viajero

Bronze
Dec 16, 2011
1,593
1
36
Contango said:
I think for the uniformed reader a distinction needs to be made. There are ex pats that live amongst Dominicans in Dominican neighbourhoods in Dominican Towns. And then there are the other expats who live in golf courses and walled off compounds in resort areas... Each has its own unique set of circumstances. But the point is safety is a major concern when one lives with Dominicans in Dominican neighbourhoods and you are the sore thumb sticking out...
Click to expand...

Interesting ...
 
Harleysrock

Harleysrock

Gold
Nov 4, 2012
7,267
90
48
Gaspar Hernández, Espaillat, Dominican Republic
Contango said:
I think for the uniformed reader a distinction needs to be made. There are ex pats that live amongst Dominicans in Dominican neighbourhoods in Dominican Towns. And then there are the other expats who live in golf courses and walled off compounds in resort areas... Each has its own unique set of circumstances. But the point is safety is a major concern when one lives with Dominicans in Dominican neighbourhoods and you are the sore thumb sticking out...
Click to expand...

I feel pretty safe here in the barrio, we have rich expat neighbours on the sides of us on the Beachfront but if serious things happened I would run into the Barrio right behind us, as much as people bash Dominicans (poor ones especially) they sure have helped us when sh*t goes wrong!
They are the ones to call the police if there is a strange face in our area and are also the people who help the police look for criminals, not gringos.

I really liked your post Lindsey, since we are new here I wonder the same if something happened to one of us or both. I know our gardner and maid would know something was wrong right away but we should give our info about our families to our expat neighbours since our Family cannot speak Spanish! I've been lazy about this and it is important so thank you for reminding me!
 
M

mountainannie

Platinum
Dec 11, 2003
16,350
1,358
113
elizabetheames.blogspot.com
Yes, get the numbers to your neighbors and be sure that the barrio neighbors know which neighbor has the numbers.

My "rescue" was also invoked by a Dominican, from the car rental agency next door, who came here to the building to call up to my neighbor that I was in trouble, who then called my friends in Las Terrenas, who sent other friends whocame to visit, and also called my family in Rhode Island who called my nephew in Puerto Rico who came over.

Turned out that my sister, in Rhode Island, really did not have any up to date numbers for anyone and does not speak Spanish.

So it can get very complicated. Particularly when matters of health are involved. When everything is going well and we are in good health and all we tend to forget this kind of thing. Plus we imagine that Embassy will somehow help us out, which they won't.. at least the US Embassy will not... except to call your family or someone.
 
B

Bob K

Silver
Aug 16, 2004
2,520
121
63
Lindsey great post. Though there are many factions of expats living here and on the DR1 forum, some of which I do not care for and many who are friends, but in the time of need it seems we all come together. There is a sense of "Expat community" and that is so important to us all.
In some sense we all need to have each other's back.

Bob K
 
E

explorer1

New member
Jul 7, 2013
243
0
0
I finally managed to spend a couple of months in a country where nobody looks like me, very few talk like me, and nobody knows who I am.

I can attest to the fact that, one solitary soul who has your back can take the place of a thousand friends back home.
 
N

notreallyconfused

New member
Feb 18, 2013
187
0
0
LindseyKaufman said:
In light of the recent thread regarding concern for a fellow ex-pat who has had a trying month, losing his wife and working to sell his house to return to his home country, I think we should take a lesson. First, let me say to Bob K a thank you for your concern and your post. It is individuals like you that we need here.

And the point of it all is that we should all be Bob K's.

If you have lived here for an extended time, at any moment, crisis could hit. Car accident. Robbery. Medical crisis. Theft. Murder. Financial crisis.

Our deepest problems and secrets, we never tell.

Should something happen, who would care? Who would come to our rescue? Who would look for us or call or check the house to see if we had a heart attack and died? Who would post on DR1 or organize a search party?

And who would post gossip and trash?

Any of the above problems could happen to each of us, including myself. Since I live alone, Bob K's post gave me reason to think.

Wouldn't it be better if we support each other, rather than talking trash? Years ago, we knew one another on this site. We would argue, but in the end, we were friends and would organize the search party- just like Bob K did- if something happened.

I guess it is a message to me and, I hope, the rest of us to be sure to have a support system. To have people who know where to find us. Who know what our living patterns are. Our phone numbers. To know when we are happy and to get or give us help when the chips are down.

If we are going to live in this country, we need to trust no one, but love ourselves enough to make a small circle of 5 close friends.

You owe it to yourself, and so do I.

Lindsey
Click to expand...


This site should have developed expat group that supports each other. I have found some good information on this site that has benefited me. I have also exchanged information I know about to help others. However, it falls very short of what we could really offer each other in the way of support, protection, lifelines, etc. etc.etc.

I have found that mainly this site has been hijacked by a bunch of people eager to share opinions and then bash others if there ideas aren't in sync with their own. For this, I have stopped reading this forum as much and only refer to it when I need information.

This forum could give us the ability to unite and help each other. Our strength in numbers could protect us from the perils of being a foreigner. instead of just being a place to trash talk and show how smart or Dominican you have become . The DR is a very tough place to navigate. Not only is it dangerous, it seems everybody can be out to get you at times. Being a seasoned street guy, I thought it would be easy....It hasn't. I have found that I am being tested constantly. I constantly have to ask myself if I am being taken advantage of. Really, its not a good feeling, but its part of life down here. Many would fare much better with a support group that's not faceless. Faceless blogs like this give people courage who have none. I recommend a monthly weekly meet up in SD. For people in other parts of the country, there could be a weekly one in those areas as well. Then maybe a quarterly meeting where all the chapters meet. I think this could help many people, and also give those who have nothing to do, a little more purpose.

Just a thought
 
M

mountainannie

Platinum
Dec 11, 2003
16,350
1,358
113
elizabetheames.blogspot.com
notreallyconfused said:
This site should have developed expat group that supports each other. I have found some good information on this site that has benefited me. I have also exchanged information I know about to help others. However, it falls very short of what we could really offer each other in the way of support, protection, lifelines, etc. etc.etc.

I have found that mainly this site has been hijacked by a bunch of people eager to share opinions and then bash others if there ideas aren't in sync with their own. For this, I have stopped reading this forum as much and only refer to it when I need information.

This forum could give us the ability to unite and help each other. Our strength in numbers could protect us from the perils of being a foreigner. instead of just being a place to trash talk and show how smart or Dominican you have become . The DR is a very tough place to navigate. Not only is it dangerous, it seems everybody can be out to get you at times. Being a seasoned street guy, I thought it would be easy....It hasn't. I have found that I am being tested constantly. I constantly have to ask myself if I am being taken advantage of. Really, its not a good feeling, but its part of life down here. Many would fare much better with a support group that's not faceless. Faceless blogs like this give people courage who have none. I recommend a monthly weekly meet up in SD. For people in other parts of the country, there could be a weekly one in those areas as well. Then maybe a quarterly meeting where all the chapters meet. I think this could help many people, and also give those who have nothing to do, a little more purpose.

Just a thought
Click to expand...

The problem is your assumption that the expats are any sort of group.. that the mongers and the folks who run the orphanages and the con artists are all going to hang together just because they are foreigners. I have lost more money to expats in trouble than to Dominicans and I am sure that lots of others can testify to the same.. not necessarily scam artists.. just folks who came with not enough and got into trouble, etc.

Chris Ccc has ususally invited just about all to contact him.. as has Hillbilly in Santiago.
 
N

notreallyconfused

New member
Feb 18, 2013
187
0
0
mountainannie said:
The problem is your assumption that the expats are any sort of group.. that the mongers and the folks who run the orphanages and the con artists are all going to hang together just because they are foreigners. I have lost more money to expats in trouble than to Dominicans and I am sure that lots of others can testify to the same.. not necessarily scam artists.. just folks who came with not enough and got into trouble, etc.

Chris Ccc has ususally invited just about all to contact him.. as has Hillbilly in Santiago.
Click to expand...

Good for Chris C.....I didn't mean just loan people money. What I meant is that strength in numbers goes a long way. I was a member of an expat community in another country. We helped each other all the time. Guess what, we were all tight. Occasionally there was a few of us who turned out to be rotten apples, but it didn't matter. The strength of the whole over powered the few. When I was injured in an accident I had people bringing me to the hospital, help me recover, do my laundry, bring me lunch, etc. These people were complete strangers at one time. Even the rotten apples for a time were helpful to the cause. When others needed something that I could provide, I was there in a heartbeat, and so that is how it was. Some of us who had lots of stuff in common paired off and became great friends as well. If any of us had problems with the locals in anyway, our strength of numbers would keep people from F...ing with us. One of the best experiences I ever had. To answer your question.....Yes the whore mongers and the religious freaks bounded together when they had to. It was a very unique situation....It wasn't perfect, but it worked.
 
W

william webster

Platinum
Jan 16, 2009
30,247
4,330
113
It works here too.... MA has been helped by DR1 and her friends (she alluded to it in an earlier post)

we all see your point but you sort the good from the bad and follow your own nose that way.

You never find me involved in those hot blooded discussions and , like you, I have found many pearls amongst the swine.

Very good advice is passed on here - some terrible advice is passed on here.
You need to know what to listen to..... sad but true.... and yes, when you're new , how can you distinguish.

We have one frequent poster here who takes too much for gospel.
Others are more selective.

I can honestly say that I have never been led astray here and that I have gleaned some excellent advice.

I follow what I follow in the way of threads and contribute - sometimes meaningfully, sometimes not.

c'est la vie
 
malko

malko

Campesino !! :)
Jan 12, 2013
5,560
1,344
113
notreallyconfused said:
This site should have developed expat group that supports each other. I have found some good information on this site that has benefited me. I have also exchanged information I know about to help others. However, it falls very short of what we could really offer each other in the way of support, protection, lifelines, etc. etc.etc.

I have found that mainly this site has been hijacked by a bunch of people eager to share opinions and then bash others if there ideas aren't in sync with their own. For this, I have stopped reading this forum as much and only refer to it when I need information.

This forum could give us the ability to unite and help each other. Our strength in numbers could protect us from the perils of being a foreigner. instead of just being a place to trash talk and show how smart or Dominican you have become . The DR is a very tough place to navigate. Not only is it dangerous, it seems everybody can be out to get you at times. Being a seasoned street guy, I thought it would be easy....It hasn't. I have found that I am being tested constantly. I constantly have to ask myself if I am being taken advantage of. Really, its not a good feeling, but its part of life down here. Many would fare much better with a support group that's not faceless. Faceless blogs like this give people courage who have none. I recommend a monthly weekly meet up in SD. For people in other parts of the country, there could be a weekly one in those areas as well. Then maybe a quarterly meeting where all the chapters meet. I think this could help many people, and also give those who have nothing to do, a little more purpose.

Just a thought
Click to expand...


It just confirms my thought that SD seems to be the jungle.........
I dont feel "perils" here( or not more than back home even if the perils are diffrent ) because I am a foreigner...... or I wouldnt be here............

My thought would be that dr1 is very uselful to get a "feel" on diffrent aspects of life here in the dr, very uselful for access to specific information ( ie phone numbers, locations, dining out, prices.....)
But dr1 is also a kind of entertainment........ Apart from reading books and phoning family, I never speak (or write or read ) english in the dr.....

It is the first time in my life I have joined an internet forum........ I am sure u can meet and befriend lots of good people on dr1....... But counting on dr1 to do my laundry or bring me food while in hospital ( or prison for that matter....), is a big no no no......
If it is the case, u ARE living dangerously!!!!!

Again, FAMILY is the most important, I mean blood family not inlaws ( until they prove themselves...).
Dominican "social circle", too is important. But takes time to prove trustworthy ( true in the dr but everywhere else too.....)

All in all a sticky thread, is the easiest...... post if u want to post
I would go through the thread regulary and check up if needed and desired, but in no case would I want anyone checking on me.......
I would'nt either meet once a week, on a regular basis.......

Even if life is more relaxed and laid back here, I STILL HAVE ONE.........
 
Harleysrock

Harleysrock

Gold
Nov 4, 2012
7,267
90
48
Gaspar Hernández, Espaillat, Dominican Republic
"Not really" just because people argue does not mean people will not
Help or support others.
Do I hate anyone that posts on here?! No bc I don't know them!!! People can be a lot different in person.
You may be surprised by how wonderful some of the frequent posters really are who are
not liked for their opinions!!
I have not met one dr1 bad person yet!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom