Dominican men and their nieces and nephews

Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Mauricio

Gold
Nov 18, 2002
5,607
7
38
What always strikes me in DR is how close Dominican men (and women also) are with their nieces and nephews. They declare their love to them like if they are their own children, hug them and kiss them all the time, fill their Facebook with pictures of them with their nephews. I think if I would act like that with my Dutch nephews and nieces I'd get weird looks and talks behind my back.

Is this just a typical Latin/Dominican thing, or is it me who is the 'seco' one?
 
D

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
we only have one nice and unfortunately she has some feelings for me so she is regularly dumped on my lap. i can't say i am enthusiastic: she salivates, grabs my face and produces series of high pitched giggles. i talk to her in polish and only use bad words. she loves it :) miesposo and my BIL are very affectionate with the kiddo as well. she is the only baby in the family.

i think people here love kids in general and are very family oriented. i feel that family is good for pictures and that i do not need to see them all the time. if i saw them as often as i see my own parents (once every hear and a half or so) it would be fine. i like them but there is no need to interact daily.
 
C

Chip

Platinum
Jul 25, 2007
16,772
429
0
Santiago
People here often times are just as close to their aunts, uncles and cousins as they are their own parents and siblings. One example of this is the term "primo-hermano".
 
C

Chirimoya

Well-known member
Dec 9, 2002
17,850
982
113
My husband's relationships with his nieces and nephews is as the OP describes. But although he is close to some of his first cousins, there are many he barely knows or has never met. His parents had more than 20 siblings each, which means he could have more than one hundred first cousins.

Chip said:
One example of this is the term "primo-hermano".
Click to expand...
Primo/a hermano/a is standard Spanish for first cousin, not just in the DR.
 
M

MJSantoDomingo

Bronze
Apr 13, 2011
680
0
0
Family is important in the DR, which is something I like. But I do continually get surprised by how large "one" family can be when I am constantly meeting another aunt or cousin, etc. But I guess it is expected in some ways, because both men and women started having kids at a young age and in different relationships - there tends to be a lot of aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, half-sisters, half-brothers, nieces, nephews, etc. Though I do think they have too much of a belief in "it's God's will" that they have as many kids as they do - it is surprising to meet so many parents that have 4 or 5 or 6 kids - I can barely afford two kids...
 
C

Curacaoleno

Bronze
Apr 26, 2013
585
0
0
Chip said:
People here often times are just as close to their aunts, uncles and cousins as they are their own parents and siblings. One example of this is the term "primo-hermano".
Click to expand...

Yeah I noticed that as well.. But it may look weird for a non Dominican.. my gf and her sisters hold their primo as I would hold my gf only. I would get into trouble with my aunts if I would hold my primas like that! (like close to them, Hand in hand or my hand on their hips).
 
D

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
to me the family is parents and my older brother. the rest of them is strangers i saw on funerals and similar occasions. and from the age of 15 i avoided even that. i find dominican closeness suffocating.
 
C

Criss Colon

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
21,843
191
0
38
yahoomail.com
"Mauricio',......."La Familia", is the ONLY reason I am raising my kids HERE!!!!!!!
My "MIL" has 7 children, so you can imagine the # of nieces & nephews we get here.
Wed. night is "Family Dinner Night" here, it's always a "ZOO", but it's "Our Zoo"!
Dominicans DO treat the "Spouces" of their children a little differently, as they are "Familia Politico" and no "De Sangre".
All the kids however ARE Familia!
However,
Dominican "Mamis" have a "Saying",....
"Los ninos de mis hijas, yo SE de quines son"!
Los ninos de mis hijos, No Se de Quienes son"????
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
 
T

the gorgon

Platinum
Sep 16, 2010
33,997
83
0
it is similar in the British caribbean. people are close to blood relatives, and their spouses. it's a soul thing...
 
M

Mauricio

Gold
Nov 18, 2002
5,607
7
38
Yeah I know the family importance in DR, the cousins that seem to be behind each corner, my wife's aunt telling my children 'besa la mano a t?a!' (me thinking: you're not their aunt, you're their mother's aunt). What more surprises me is the treatment of the little nieces and nephews. My sister in holland had/has a boyfriend who would play a lot with the little ones in the family. We would talk about that as something weird.

I see friends posting picture after picture on Facebook with their nephews....even from his wife's side. I know it's normal here, but in Holland , or at least in the area of holland where I'm from it's not normal.
 
L

Lando calrisian

Bronze
Mar 1, 2009
941
144
0
Before Trujillo came into power, Dominican men would have many, many children. The view was and sometimes still is that the more children you had, the wealthier you were.
Add to that the very high mortality rate, in the early 20th century it would be something akin to a Bronte' novel, a cough would appear or a fever and the person would just die, of course young children would get ill, suffer quickly or slowly and die.
That was reality.
The other reality was that due to the endemic mini civil wars between local strong men, the constant threat of Haitian invasions having a large family was a protection, kinda like the scottish highland clans, aye?
Also before if you messed with somebody and you hurt or killed them, then you would have a blood feud and the person's brothers and cousins (if they were close) would try to get you back, from their comes the very Dominican term "eso no se va quedar asi), vengeance was approved of.
So a niece and a nephew for many have become like their own children so what Frank has written is correct, in many instances Dominicans do need each other to survive it's a jungle out their!!!

LLLLLLLLLLL CCCCCCCCCCC
 
K

Kipling333

Bronze
Jan 12, 2010
2,528
829
113
Very disappointing posting ..Latinos show their feelings for all members of their family with many hugs and kisses ..In a country with many faults it is a wonderful thing and I would suggest that Mauricio and all cold blooded Europeans are definitely much more weird for not showing their love .Why bottle it up
 
bob saunders

bob saunders

Platinum
Jan 1, 2002
32,559
5,971
113
dr1.com
I am really close with two of my nieces as I raised them for 4 years ( the high school years), and although I get along with all my nieces and nephews I'm only close to those two. Dominican families on the other hand have their sisters and brothers pick their kids up from school and cousins are often like brothers and sisters. This is a general rule because I also know Dominican families that aren't that close.
 
M

Mauricio

Gold
Nov 18, 2002
5,607
7
38
Kipling333 said:
Very disappointing posting ..Latinos show their feelings for all members of their family with many hugs and kisses ..In a country with many faults it is a wonderful thing and I would suggest that Mauricio and all cold blooded Europeans are definitely much more weird for not showing their love .Why bottle it up
Click to expand...

First, I wasn't passing judgment, I'm saving that for my next bank related topic.

Second, much of the expressive love Dominicans show to doesn't any deeper or less deep than the love most Europeans might not be so expressive about and

third, I was specifically mentioning nephews and nieces. I have 10 nephews and nieces of my siblings and 6 of my wife's. I can only say, I deeply love my children, but with the children of my siblings the relationship is way different. I don't love them like I love my children, I don't boss them around like if they are mine, I don't have pictures taken of me with them for Facebook. Many Dominicans treat their nephews and nieces like if they are their children. That's something I'm not able to adapt to, it would be hypocrite. Not passing judgment though.
 
D

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
Kipling333 said:
Very disappointing posting ..Latinos show their feelings for all members of their family with many hugs and kisses ..In a country with many faults it is a wonderful thing and I would suggest that Mauricio and all cold blooded Europeans are definitely much more weird for not showing their love .Why bottle it up
Click to expand...

bottle it up? i can't bottle what i do not have.
 
D

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
Africaida said:
I had friends look surprised when my mom visits me for 3 months !
Click to expand...

i visit my parents maybe once every 18 months and they would like to see me more often. still, when i go there my mom says: don't stay more than 2 weeks, you use too much hot water.
ha ha ha ha
 
G

Gurabo444

Member
Nov 1, 2009
428
0
16
My aunt and uncle are like my second parents, and I love them as much as I love my parents, my other aunts and uncles are also extremely close. I don't see anything wrong with that, I don't get why foreigners find it weird or even wrong, I love that aspect of Domnican culure, and if I'm ever in a situation were I need support whether is economically or whatever, I'll get double the support. When there's a "family" party, is a family party in which I even get to see some of my third cousins, no joke. Something I find amazing is that I also have to say "son tio" to my great grandma's brother every time I see him around, if I don't he'll get mad and go around saying how much of a "malcriado" I am. I seriously don't know how the guy even remembers that we're related, he's close to a 100 years old, and he must have 50 plus great grandchildren, add that another 50 great grandnephews/nieces, yet he seems to know all of us lol.
 
B

Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
5,898
550
113
Mauricio said:
Much of the expressive love Dominicans show to doesn't any deeper or less deep than the love most Europeans might not be so expressive about.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Don't be fooled by the type of superficial affection expressed among and within Latin American cultures. The type of dysfunction in the average Latin household is on par with any other culture. Dominicans just happen to hide it with merengue and Presidente beer, but it's all the same.

Just because some of you never got hugged when you were kids doesn't mean a Latino parent would have loved you any more. Some of you are unlovable anyways so if you made it to the DR and found someone that could stand you for more than five minutes, hang on to them for dear life.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom