URGENT advice needed please!

Do not get involved at first - there are too many variables that could be in play here..

Stay out of it, it smells fishy.. let her work it out for now.

Wait and see how it develops. In case that she has to fight for custody, in this country the mother gets custody. Unless she is proven, with tons of evidence, to be unfit for the role.

caribmike said:

My Dominican GF left her Dominican (Ex-)BF around 6 month ago.

They have a 5 y/o boy together.

When they separated it was the BF who kept the child b/c it was him who got a job etc.

We are together a while now and decided to move in together. She had the child on visit here in Bavaro and it seemed the Ex had no problem with that.

We inscribed the child into school in Higuey (where we go to move).

3 days ago the boy went back to SDQ with my GF aunt.

Upon receiving the boy the Ex found out that his mother is in a new relationship and now he decided not to let the boy be with her.

Before contacting my lawyer I wanted to know if anybody went through s'thing similar and can give me advice regarding a possible outcome. We are prepared to fight but I never was in a situation like that.

Who would possibly win a case like that? Common sense tells me the mother but I am not sure...

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One thing to remember, it is not your child.
This has to be decided between the mother and the father.

The Dominican system is quite clear usually. Girls stay with the mother or her parents, boys with the father or his parents. Often the wife's new husband will abuse another man's son or they fear her will - physically rather than sexually.

Matilda

Matilda said:

The Dominican system is quite clear usually. Girls stay with the mother or her parents, boys with the father or his parents. Often the wife's new husband will abuse another man's son or they fear her will - physically rather than sexually.

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you mean informal system? i rarely see kids stay with the father. certainly in none of the broken relationships i know.

RAAAY said:

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MONEY.........pure and simple........... He wants you to pay him.


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and she is going to get something kicked back to her.

Why does the father have custody? Does she have a bad rep?

The law favors the Mother but keep your eyes open. Money motivates. There is always an agenda. And a few others have given you good advice, it's not your child remember.

Stay out of it for now (even if you support her), 6 months means that their break up is very recent. Their fighting/disagreement is pretty normal for a recently broken-up couple (Dominican or not). They will eventually sort it out.

Put yourself in his shoes: she was out of the child life for a while, then as soon as a Gringo (or another man) can pay the bills, she wants him back ? I would say f*ck you as well personally.

Mike, it is a very simple situation and so do not worry about anything, I've been around the block several times with all this. Yes it is difficult on the mind, constantly requiring others input of things you have been told, for fear of the system, but really you have little to worry about. I had a similar situation where the ex didn't want our child being with me once she knew I had another partner living with me, but once we had been to court, my new partner ended up being the person who would make the exchange when it was visiting time, and so you can see, his emotions have nothing to do with the law.
The law states that both parents are responsible for the child, and both have the same rights to spend time with the child. It is illegal for the guy to keep the child away from the mother unless authorized by a judge. Keeping the child away from the mother also violates fundamental rights of the child, thus you need to have a formal authorization.
If she intends to fight for custody and he intends to fight her then it isn't quite as straight forward as some might be saying, it depends on alsorts. The mother can not simply say give me the child and the court will award her the child, not if the child is in school, and has a sound and solid life with the father. Chances are that if the child has not yet started school then she would get custody and he would get 3 of 4 weekends and half of the holidays etc. As of the age of 4yrs the court will take into account what the child wants and where is happier.
You don't need to get involved with lawyer fees etc. they are provided free (to her) at the family and childrens courts. This is so straight forward in the first instance that hiring a lawyer will serve her no benefit other than out of pocket. If he decides to employ a lawyer to defend, then you employ a decent lawyer.

But if he does not allow her the child then he is breaking the law, go directly to the court. If this is going to end up in playing games and using the child as a ball then do that anyway. The child needs routine and a resolve as quickly as possible.

Those who are saying it's all about money for him then ignore it, that is not always the case, there are some excellent parents out the, he had custody before he knew anything about you, and so why would that change. His motives for wanting his child are loving ones, and so expect a bit of a fight. I'd say money has nothing to do with this, he is probably going to lose custody of his child, so try to go easy on him if possible, it can't be easy. You try to keep a low profile, and it will go much smoother for you and him (don't stand with her in court etc.)

RAAAY said:

Hug's opinion is fine, except for the fact it is based on the premise the guy hadn't actually already given up the child. The OP said it quiet clearly. The guy had already given up the child.

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I understood that the father had allowed the child with them on visit, not handing over full time. And they either way went and enrolled him in school without consideration.




''We are together a while now and decided to move in together. She had the child on visit here in Bavaro and it seemed the Ex had no problem with that.

We inscribed the child into school in Higuey (where we go to move).

3 days ago the boy went back to SDQ with my GF aunt.''

there is no mention of her receiving custody of the child here, just he came to visit and then sent hi back to SD.

Patience Needed

Her former BF found out that she is now "together" with an ATM.
Let hormones and greed settle down a bit, and a much clearer picture will evolve...

donP

CaribMike a bit of advise. Mine your own business and stay out of it. You will be the only one who will lose here. And money is the very least that you will lose. I will bet my life that you are not being told the entire truth........STAY AWAY FROM THIS

barker1964 said:

CaribMike a bit of advise. Mine your own business and stay out of it. You will be the only one who will lose here. And money is the very least that you will lose. I will bet my life that you are not being told the entire truth........STAY AWAY FROM THIS

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Must admit, it is a strange reason (because he has a job). That is usually (99% of the time) the reason the child lives with the mother and the father pays her pension. For this I agree with you when you say he possibly does not know the ins and outs of this whole situation. (I would like to know the 'etc.' to understand clearer)

@Barker
P.S. it's MIND, not MINE.

Derfish said:

I'd offer the daddy maybe 2000 pesos per month for the privilege of having the child with yourself and his mother. Not sure of the legality of this, but is my idea.
Der Fish

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Wouldn't this be an invitation for more problems in the future? Expecting $$$$$

Be careful caribe, you seem like a nice guy! I hope it works out ok

She "gave up" the baby to the father, that's not in her favor.
As many have advised, stay out of it. Maybe better leave the kid with the father, less headaches for you

Maybe better to find a new girl altogether. Not too hard in Bavaro.