Holy C_OW

chic

Silver
Nov 20, 2013
4,305
1
0
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."
:confused:
 

barker1964

Silver
Apr 1, 2009
3,413
2
38
That's funny, on another joke of chic I wanted to write exactly the same thing the other day....I think this one was kind of funny tough....


Chic is good comic relief he/she reminds me that life is not that serious. So he/she does serve a purpose
 

ROLLOUT

Silver
Jan 30, 2012
2,198
35
48
we have concluded without a doubt that he/she is not a he/ she. please observe the correct gender in the future.
 

Marcion

*** Sin Bin ***
Nov 22, 2014
839
0
0
(AP) The MTA study, which cost $13.5 million dollars, also concluded a new Crow Protection Task Force (CPTF) should be formed in collaboration with DHS, NSA and TSA/CBP (because flying is involved).

Newly installed director of the CPTF, Larry Tungstein, envisions an annual budget of $836 million dollars but cautions the budget may be "slightly expanded" as other federal agencies weigh in to determine what, if any, changes may be needed to ensure the CPTF remains Gender Neutral and is abiding by various EPA Carbon Footprint laws. Tungstein made clear that violators of CPTF oversight would be dealt with by the CPTFQRT (Crow Protection Task Force Quick Reaction Team), a semi-autonomous branch of the US Army Bioweapons Authority.

The Massachusetts Highway Patrol also announced that fines of up to $5,000 will be levied against drivers who "willfully do not avoid a potential crow strike." A second offense is punishable by up to ten years in prison.

"Massachusetts is only the beginning," said Tungstein, "we're going to make sure all Americans are aware of their responsibilities when it comes to the CPTF mandates."