Death in the neighborhood, what is appropiate?

mountainannie

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Dec 11, 2003
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I just learned that the youngish.. 37.. flower seller died suddenly of a heart attack night before last. He is usually there on the corner with his mother? aunt? ... He evidently had a lot of health issues although one could not tell by looking at him. I have been buying flowers from them for many years.

Would it be appropriate to give them some money? Should I go get a card? write a note in my bad Spanish?

They are right across from the supermarket and always hold my dog when I go shopping.

I want to do something.. and I am sure that they could use some money.. but I do not want to be crass or offensive.

Is there a local custom? (ok. don't say send flowers)
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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there is nothing you can or should do. pass by the house and say condolences or come to a mass to pay respects.
 

Aguaita29

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Jul 27, 2011
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Go over and say "La acompa?o en sus sentimientos". No card or note. Money will be appreciated, sending a flower arrangement too, but before the burial.
 
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huron007

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Dec 16, 2013
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If you see the need of financial help then there's nothing wrong with dropping a closed envelope with a card and whatever you think is appropriate.
 

huron007

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Dec 16, 2013
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Go over and say "La acompa?o en sus sentimientos". No card or note. Money will be appreciated, sending a flower arrangement too, but before the burial.

"La acompa?o en sus sentimientos" sounds so 70's.

Saying "I'm sorry" sounds a lot better and more sincere.
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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mi mas sentido pesame is also used. or you can say lamento lamuerte de tu ser querido. really, what often matters is a handshake or sharing a moment of silence.
 

bob saunders

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Jan 1, 2002
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A handshake, a hug, a clasp of hand and I sorry for your loss. If they are truly poor perhaps some coffee and sugar to help out. I go to 8-10 a year, sometimes more.
 

SKY

Gold
Apr 11, 2004
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I had a similar situation and gave money towards the funeral and wake. The family was very appreciative.
 

Kipling333

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Jan 12, 2010
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Yes , of course you must contribute to the funeral in such a circumstance . Maybe the family will not say much but without doubt you will be doing the right thing . It is clearly writen in the Book of Common Prayer 1662, still the greatest book on living a good life , in the Eucharist or Holy Communion service . ...To do good and to distribute, forget not, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.. and...Give alms to the poor and never turn thy face from any poor man...and...While we have time, let us do good unto all men...and finally ... Let every man do as he is disposed in his heart, not grudgingly or of necesity , for God loves a cheerful giver.
 

lovemedo

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Nov 3, 2013
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I just learned that the youngish.. 37.. flower seller died suddenly of a heart attack night before last. He is usually there on the corner with his mother? aunt? ... He evidently had a lot of health issues although one could not tell by looking at him. I have been buying flowers from them for many years.

Would it be appropriate to give them some money? Should I go get a card? write a note in my bad Spanish?

They are right across from the supermarket and always hold my dog when I go shopping.

I want to do something.. and I am sure that they could use some money.. but I do not want to be crass or offensive.

Is there a local custom? (ok. don't say send flowers)

Maybe a family voucher to eat at Jose o sheas
buy a round of coconuts with extra sugar
or repair their broken front head lights
 

bienamor

Kansas redneck an proud of it
Apr 23, 2004
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Annie
got to go along with the money idea due to the custom here for funerals and wakes. the family with the death provides meals and such for the viewers, in contrast to the custom in the US where the neighbors etc bring in food and stuff to the family of the dead. Money to offset costs will be much appreciated.
 

mountainannie

Platinum
Dec 11, 2003
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elizabetheames.blogspot.com
glad you posted BienAmor.. I had the envelope but did not see them.. probably out for the nine days of funeral.. and since my memory only lasts for less than a week these days.. I was likely to forget all about it..

(think i spent that money at the nail salon!.. oopps.. )...