My Gardener/Handyman/Drinking Buddy/Gringo Tax Advisor...

drSix

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Oct 13, 2013
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...self proclaimed hermano, familia, tio to my daughter turned out to be nothing more than a thief and a liar.

When we first got here, and moved into the Campo, we rented a place that already had a few workers. One of them was the handyman. He lived just up the road from us, worked to support his family of 4. Nice guy, intelligent, easy to speak to for a Spanish learner, and one hell of a worker. He knew a little about everything. Plumbing, electrical, pools, car and moto repair, could drive, and makes one hell of a Mojito. When we first met him, he was making RD$5000 per month working part time with little to no fringe benefits.

When we moved out of the Campo, he came with us. We paid his taxi from the Campo, and he stayed with us for the days he worked, only three a week. He ate with us, he drank with us, went out to restaurants, we always paid on time, borrowed him money if he needed.

During this whole time, we had our suspicions about him. We thought that he may be stealing small, and sometimes larger amounts or money, but had no way of proving it. And, to be honest, he has been so integral in our living here that we didn't really care. We've taken his entire family on vacations with us, out to expensive dinners, gave him a small fortune to 'fix his house' last December, and then got him a job doing maintenance for a friend. We still let him stay with us, eat our eat, drink our rum, and he worked 3 half days a week for us. Now he was working full time, with all his expenses paid. Making somewhere near RD$15000 per month. The most he has made in years if not decades.

The point, he was our friend. My daughter loved him, he was my first friend here, and taught my wife Spanish. He was always there when we needed him, he saved my family when my daughter broke her leg, and now I realize it was all a lie. I don't know how he got so integrated into our lives.



I haven't been working, and have been home for 2 1/2 months, and you'd be amazed at how smoothly things are running. Not because I have been fixing things, but because he doesn't dupe my wife into getting things fixed while I am not here. Looking back, it has been countless repairs, hundreds of dollars, and I have no idea what is legit. How much money has gone through his hands a couple hundred pesos at a time? Or that hundred dollar bill when my wife purse got knocked over one night, the thousand pesos the maid supposedly stole, moto repairs, house repairs, fake receipts etc. I have no idea where it starts and ends.

One day, I set out RD$250 in a basket with sunglasses, the same basket we often put small amounts of money in, the same basket I suspect he has taken from for a year. We all left the house, he was the only one here, when we got back he and money were gone. When he came back the next day, I confronted him. And, without missing a beat said "Forgive me, forgive me, I needed it for a taxi and you weren't here. I just forgot to tell you", and I saw the wheels turning. For the first time, I saw the snake in the grass. I had trusted this man with my home, my family, my kids, my money. And, because of this, I treated him very well. But, now I see, in his eyes, it was all a big lie. I told the neighbor, and she fired him also. When we got to talking, his tangled web unravelled. He was lying to both of us, getting extra money wherever he could. He'd say she didn't pay him, and borrow money from us and vise versa. He of course came back to her after I had left, and told her I was a liar and a drunk, just like I warned her he would do. He always had a lie, and angle, he was always "working" the Gringos.

So, now this fool lost the highest paying job with the most benefits he most likely has ever had. And, I had plans for him and I. He was good at working with bamboo. Just a week ago we went looking for shop we could work at, maybe start selling some things. All backed financially by me, because I believed in him, and wanted to help him and his family get out of poverty. He threw it all away, because he got greedy.

I'm not a sentimental man, and I don't let many people into my life or my home. Him, I did. He was family. He is the reason we survived here our first two years. I'm still not as mad as I should be, still trying to justify his behavior, and also looking at all the money he may or may not have duped me out of.

Hopefully the shame in his eyes when I called him a ****ing ladron was real, but I doubt it.
 

william webster

Platinum
Jan 16, 2009
30,247
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workers are workers

friends are friends

the two don't mix well.......... cross pollination is not good

lesson learned
 

Contango

Banned
Dec 27, 2010
2,196
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0
Sounds like you have blown this out of proportion, this guy was a good friend to you and your family, daughter. Was helpful with repairs and around the house.

So he helped himself to little extras money and manipulated you and your wife. You knew him for a number of years. Plus he is DOMINICAN.. This is just typical Dominican behavior, all he did was spin some white lies, help himself to a little extra money.

When you call a Dominican out like that its called "Malagradecida" ( out on face)

He may have revenge with you planned for the future?

Personally I would have put up with the little bit BS if the guy was a real help and a Dominican friend..
 

drSix

Silver
Oct 13, 2013
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36
workers are workers

friends are friends

Yea, he was too easy to befriend especially at first. We knew this from the start, we had a hand in causing this mess. Sadly, I was trying to find him other work in the area so that he would no longer be working for us, and he could be only a friend.
 

keepcoming

Moderator - Living & General Stuff
May 25, 2011
4,734
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Sorry to hear that. Sounds like your more disappointed than actually angry. You will probably never be able to justify his behavior because this is a person that just outright took advantage of you and your family. As WW stated workers are just that workers, your employee. Once you cross that line with an employee it seldom has a good outcome.
 

Cdn_Gringo

Gold
Apr 29, 2014
8,671
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That is truly a sad tale. My condolences to you and your family for the loss of a friend. What many (even gringos) fail to appreciate, is that trust is earned and must be maintained everyday. When "we" squander that trust, we can never completely get it back. Hopefully a valuable lesson has been learned here and going forward your compa?ero will reflect on this and be a better person for it.

As hard as I am sure it was, in my opinion, you did the right thing. Small indiscretions lead to bigger ones over time. Doubt and suspicion will eat you up.
 

LTSteve

Gold
Jul 9, 2010
5,449
23
38
...self proclaimed hermano, familia, tio to my daughter turned out to be nothing more than a thief and a liar.

When we first got here, and moved into the Campo, we rented a place that already had a few workers. One of them was the handyman. He lived just up the road from us, worked to support his family of 4. Nice guy, intelligent, easy to speak to for a Spanish learner, and one hell of a worker. He knew a little about everything. Plumbing, electrical, pools, car and moto repair, could drive, and makes one hell of a Mojito. When we first met him, he was making RD$5000 per month working part time with little to no fringe benefits.

When we moved out of the Campo, he came with us. We paid his taxi from the Campo, and he stayed with us for the days he worked, only three a week. He ate with us, he drank with us, went out to restaurants, we always paid on time, borrowed him money if he needed.

During this whole time, we had our suspicions about him. We thought that he may be stealing small, and sometimes larger amounts or money, but had no way of proving it. And, to be honest, he has been so integral in our living here that we didn't really care. We've taken his entire family on vacations with us, out to expensive dinners, gave him a small fortune to 'fix his house' last December, and then got him a job doing maintenance for a friend. We still let him stay with us, eat our eat, drink our rum, and he worked 3 half days a week for us. Now he was working full time, with all his expenses paid. Making somewhere near RD$15000 per month. The most he has made in years if not decades.

The point, he was our friend. My daughter loved him, he was my first friend here, and taught my wife Spanish. He was always there when we needed him, he saved my family when my daughter broke her leg, and now I realize it was all a lie. I don't know how he got so integrated into our lives.



I haven't been working, and have been home for 2 1/2 months, and you'd be amazed at how smoothly things are running. Not because I have been fixing things, but because he doesn't dupe my wife into getting things fixed while I am not here. Looking back, it has been countless repairs, hundreds of dollars, and I have no idea what is legit. How much money has gone through his hands a couple hundred pesos at a time? Or that hundred dollar bill when my wife purse got knocked over one night, the thousand pesos the maid supposedly stole, moto repairs, house repairs, fake receipts etc. I have no idea where it starts and ends.

One day, I set out RD$250 in a basket with sunglasses, the same basket we often put small amounts of money in, the same basket I suspect he has taken from for a year. We all left the house, he was the only one here, when we got back he and money were gone. When he came back the next day, I confronted him. And, without missing a beat said "Forgive me, forgive me, I needed it for a taxi and you weren't here. I just forgot to tell you", and I saw the wheels turning. For the first time, I saw the snake in the grass. I had trusted this man with my home, my family, my kids, my money. And, because of this, I treated him very well. But, now I see, in his eyes, it was all a big lie. I told the neighbor, and she fired him also. When we got to talking, his tangled web unravelled. He was lying to both of us, getting extra money wherever he could. He'd say she didn't pay him, and borrow money from us and vise versa. He of course came back to her after I had left, and told her I was a liar and a drunk, just like I warned her he would do. He always had a lie, and angle, he was always "working" the Gringos.

So, now this fool lost the highest paying job with the most benefits he most likely has ever had. And, I had plans for him and I. He was good at working with bamboo. Just a week ago we went looking for shop we could work at, maybe start selling some things. All backed financially by me, because I believed in him, and wanted to help him and his family get out of poverty. He threw it all away, because he got greedy.

I'm not a sentimental man, and I don't let many people into my life or my home. Him, I did. He was family. He is the reason we survived here our first two years. I'm still not as mad as I should be, still trying to justify his behavior, and also looking at all the money he may or may not have duped me out of.

Hopefully the shame in his eyes when I called him a ****ing ladron was real, but I doubt it.

Sadly, no matter what your relationship is you are still a GRINGO with a lot of money. If a "little" is taken it will not be missed by you. He figures he is justified because you have so much and he needs it for himself and possibly his family. I certainly can see this story from both sides. I am not justifying this gentleman's behavior but it really doesn't surprise me. They take an inch and if they get away with it they take a foot, yard .....Yes he had a very good job but he doesn't consider this in his actions.
The Dominican way of looking at things is nowhere close to our North American thinking. It just doesn't add up the same way to us. I once had a housekeeper, that came in once a week, in our condo in a gated complex. We were very good to her and also her daughter who took over for her because she had other duties. We stayed at the condo about half the year. One year when we returned I found my propane tank gone and though it had been stolen. I quickly found at that it had been taken by this gal to use at her laundry area to cook her meals. It floored me to think that she would take it without my permission. Her thought process was that she was only borrowing it. These tanks are very expensive in the DR and she had no hesitation taking mine for the 6 months I was gone. I wouldn't have mind either if she had left a note telling me she had it. I had to discover this myself. This is just one example of the Dominican thought process. It really can't be explained. I feel your pain but your worker probably thinks that you are now a prick and he was wronged. The only thing you can do is read the next handman, the riot act when he first comes to work for you and in no terms explain that if he steals even one centavo it will be immediate dismissal. There are still no guantees with this after all you are a very wealthy GRINGO. This is a wake up call. Welcome to the third world where "trust" is only as good as the paper it is written on. Sorry for your pain. This is a NO win-win situation.
 

Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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Why does your experience not surprise me????????????????????????
BECAUSE I went through it MANY TIMES myself during my first decade living here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But NEVER in the second decade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT YOU SUFFERED FROM, THE DOMINICANS CALL,..."Demasiado Confianza"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of my "Rules To Live By In The DR",....IS, "The better you treat a Dominican, THE MORE THEY WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR GENEROSITY"!!!!!!!!

Used to happen to me ALL THE TIME when I first arrived and wanted to be "LIKED".
It happens to EVERYONE of us when we arrive, to SOME forever!!!!!!

"BOB" can now "Chime In" and tell us how his Dominican family gives HIM money, but we know that's just his "SPIN/AGENDA",....FOR OUR CONSUMPTION!!!!

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

"LT" is "SPOT ON"!!!!!!
A dominican 'Fren" of mine took advantage of me in a small business transaction. (only 2,000 pesos, but 22 years ago)

When I first confronted him, he could not give me his reason.
Several days later he said he knew why he did it.
"Because you have "MORE" than I DO"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never enters their mind that I "worked" to get mine, maybe he should/COULD too!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, if he lived in the USA he could just vote for Democrats!!!!!

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
 
Last edited:

bob saunders

Platinum
Jan 1, 2002
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dr1.com
Why does your experience not surprise me????????????????????????
BECAUSE I went through it MANY TIMES myself during my first decade living here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But NEVER in the second decade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT YOU SUFFERED FROM, THE DOMINICANS CALL,..."Demasiado Confianza"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of my "Rules To Live By In The DR",....IS, "The better you treat a Dominican, THE MORE THEY WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR GENEROSITY"!!!!!!!!

Used to happen to me ALL THE TIME when I first arrived and wanted to be "LIKED".
It happens to EVERYONE of us when we arrive, to SOME forever!!!!!!

"BOB" can now "Chime In" and tell us how his Dominican family gives HIM money, but we know that's just his "SPIN/AGENDA",....FOR OUR CONSUMPTION!!!!

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

"LT" is "SPOT ON"!!!!!!
A dominican 'Fren" of mine took advantage of me in a small business transaction. (only 2,000 pesos, but 22 years ago)

When I first confronted him, he could not give me his reason.
Several days later he said he knew why he did it.
"Because you have "MORE" than I DO"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never enters their mind that I "worked" to get mine, maybe he should/COULD too!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, if he lived in the USA he could just vote for Democrats!!!!!

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

LOL. I have questioned my wife several times on her sanity over situations like this. She has a former student that is a former employee that should be in jail for all her thievery and other underhanded dealings but my wife has helped her out of many self-created binds. She can't explain it herself. The shame of it, is the woman is an outstanding teacher with superior classroom management skills and three daughters that have grown up to be nothing like their mother, as far as one can tell. The woman is a superb actress and has fooled many Dominicans including members of her own family. Most Gringos wouldn't stand a chance.
 

Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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Be careful, the "DR1 PC Police Squad" will close this thread!!!
Can't say ANYTHING negative about Dominicanos anymore.
ESPECIALLY if it's TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Bob" I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cccccccccccccccccccccccc
 

Jaime809

Bronze
Aug 23, 2012
1,152
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36
Be careful, the "DR1 PC Police Squad" will close this thread!!!
Can't say ANYTHING negative about Dominicanos anymore.
ESPECIALLY if it's TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Bob" I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cccccccccccccccccccccccc

I could be wrong, but I believe there's a broad range of distinctions between pointing out cultural differences that clash from time to time, and denigrating an entire country's population. Robert is probably trying to keep a reign on bashing the entire country's population, while allowing a degree of free exchange of ideas.
 

jd426

Gold
Dec 12, 2009
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Be careful, the "DR1 PC Police Squad" will close this thread!!!
Can't say ANYTHING negative about Dominicanos anymore.
ESPECIALLY if it's TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Bob" I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cccccccccccccccccccccccc

Just for the Record, I happen to AGREE with you 100% on this particular Topic...

The Locals will never truly think of a Gringo, esp one with $$$, as their FRIEND. If you have more than them (which is 99.99% of the time or you would not be hiring him) then they will take advantage whenever they can, if you lucky it will be small amounts. . Its just their Culture and nothing will change it.. Either live with it, or move out of the country. But we can not change them... But even here in the USA you dont mix business with friendship and even some siblings will STEAL from you.. but the business and friend rule is 100x more important in a 3rd world country.. most of these people dont think LONG TERM... This guy lost the best paying job he ever had, because he did not have the intelligence to plan for a year or more down the road. those 250 pesos that day were all that mattered.
It is what it is.
 

windeguy

Platinum
Jul 10, 2004
42,211
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Sorry that happened drsix!! I don't have any workers/friends here for that reason, sure I may go out with them to the local bar or out to dinner etc but I keep them at a distance. I had a few experiences very early on that taught me that lesson :).

You and the OP have learned about The Real DR.
 

wrecksum

Bronze
Sep 27, 2010
2,063
96
48
A similar thing happened to me here in the DR.

The difference was that it was a gringo and the sums involved were somewhat greater. I don't care about the money but the disappointment still burns.
Makes it difficult to trust again for sure.
 
A similar thing happened to me here in the DR.

The difference was that it was a gringo and the sums involved were somewhat greater. I don't care about the money but the disappointment still burns.
Makes it difficult to trust again for sure.

Yes what is that thing that people say here?? Something about Doms will steal a few thousand pesos from you and Gringos will steal hundreds of thousands of dollars from you!!!!
Be careful of the Gringo people!!!
 

windeguy

Platinum
Jul 10, 2004
42,211
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Here is another example of The Real DR. You hire someone. They do a good job for several months. Then they come to work drunk, don't show up, become insubordinate. It gets to the point you have to fire them. And that is exactly what they want you to do. They then run to the labor board and get a paper demanding their severance pay.

They think that playing this game is like winning the lottery since they get some money for doing no work. Then they have no job and no reference from you.

If you try to get out of paying that severance pay because you have several instances of bad conduct on the job and think the labor board will side with you, you might as well forget it. There is another thread here about someone that had a worker on camera stealing from him and the worker still won and collected his severance money.
 

william webster

Platinum
Jan 16, 2009
30,247
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Sorry that happened drsix!! I don't have any workers/friends here for that reason, sure I may go out with them to the local bar or out to dinner etc but I keep them at a distance. I had a few experiences very early on that taught me that lesson :).

going out for drinks or dinner is not keeping them at a distance....

nunca........when the lines blur..... problems can appear.

Many come to RD never having had household staff - or even any supervisory experience....
Disaster recipe

Once you start to 'share' anything - friendship on down the list - 'mine' starts to look like 'yours'

especially in this country, that can confuse the best of them.

start with how they address you.......... keeps life simple