Why Dominicans have weird ideas about the US..

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
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Nearly forty years ago, when I first came here, I was amazed at how innocent and na?ve most of the young Dominicans that I met everyday, were, in relation to the "real"world. By "real" world I mean the US, Europe and the wide world outside of here.
I have seen part of this before, but it is worth thinking about.....
I guess MTV is contributing to the same distortions...


As the PIB would say, these are KNOWN FACTS....

* During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a
strip club at least once. _

* All beds have special L-shaped cover
sheets which reach up to the armpit
level on a woman but only to waist
level on the man lying beside her.

* It's easy for anyone to land
a plane, providing there is
someone in the control tower
to talk you down.

* Once applied, lipstick will
never rub off -- even while
scuba diving.

* The ventilation system
of any building is the perfect hiding place.
No one will ever think of looking for you in
there and you can travel to any other part
of the building you want without difficulty.

* If you need to reload your gun, you will always
have more ammunition even if you haven't been
carrying any before now.

* You're very
likely to survive any battle in any war, unless you make the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back
home.

* The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

* A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating
but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

* If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
it before long.

* All telephone numbers in America begin
with the digits 555.

* If being chased through town, you
can usually take cover in a passing
St. Patrick's Day parade... at any
time of the year.

* When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out
a bill, just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always
be the exact fare.

* Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from
elsewhere in the universe.

* Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at
night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

* If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.

* Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always
say: Enter Password Now.

* Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family
every morning even though their husband and children never have
time to eat them.

* Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

* The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective or give
him 48 hours to finish the job.

* A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of
Wembley Stadium.

* It is not necessary to say hello or good-bye when beginning or
ending phone conversations.

* Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to
turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
moments.

* All bombs are fitted with electronic timing
devices with large red readouts so you know
exactly when they're going to go off.

* It is always possible to park directly outside
the building you are visiting.

* A detective can only solve a case once he has
been suspended from duty.

* Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

* It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack
you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
have knocked out their predecessors.

* When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they
will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

* No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic
eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

* Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
opposite.

* Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds,
unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped
inside.

* An electric fence
powerful enough to
kill a dinosaur will
cause no lasting damage
to an eight year old child.

* Television news
bulletins usually
contain a story that
affects you personally at that precise moment.

* When a woman or child is fleeing a monster or attacker, she will
trip on nothing five times in 10 feet.

Cordially,

HB
 

Carol

New member
Jan 2, 2002
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Love it HB!! How about one forkful of a meal or one puff of a cigarette is all that's needed before rushing out (commandeering a police dog on the way) and defeating about twenty columbian drug barons with just one handgun and the afore mentioned police dog?

Carol