Confused about our relationship

Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Jennmargar

New member
Jun 14, 2015
20
0
0
I met a guy in DR a little over a year ago and we have been talking everyday since. I live in the states and have gone to see him 3 times within the year. He is a police officer there and we are both in our 20s. He is very nice and respectable and if there is something that I do not like or if I ask him to do something he does it.
My issue is as I have mentioned he is a police officer and doesn't make much money so when I am there I'm paying for 70% of the stuff which isn't much because we don't really go out much so 70% meaning groceries and a bottle if we go to a drin. He tries to pay for as much as he can because I have told him that I do not want to have to pay for everything.
Does the fact that I foot the bill most of the time make him a sanky? I have read other forums on here about that and he does not fit those characteristics of being a sanky. Or am I just blind? I have been burned in one way or another by every guy i have been with and I don't want to have another one of those guys in my life. I would really love some opinions because my trust issues are really affecting our relationship now. Thanks in advance
 
Tamborista

Tamborista

hasta la tambora
Apr 4, 2005
11,747
1,343
113
1. Have you met his wife yet?
2. How much do you send him via Western Union monthly?
3. Did his abuela replace 5 kidneys?
 
malko

malko

Campesino !! :)
Jan 12, 2013
5,561
1,345
113
As long as u dont feel he is abusing, he MAY not be a sankie.....

How can 1 ask someone to pay the drinks if he earns 10 k pesos a month, while u earn 300 k pesos a month ??
As long as he pays from time to time, or even proposes to pay..... I would say its all good.
 
R

RandyLRM

New member
May 21, 2014
100
0
0
Jenn,
As has been mentioned, you likely earn a lot more than he does. I wouldn't let who pays for what influence your feelings. Beyond that, it's hard to know if you should trust or not. The more time you spend here, the more you will know; just like any relationship.

I had a boss once tell me, "don't form your opinions of people based on what other people tell you about them, base your opinions on your experience." So, when you read the forthcoming multiple posts about how all cops are crooks, you're being taken advantage of, etc. just circle back to your own experiences. As long as you are proceeding with common caution (making sure things don't happen that make you "wonder"), like in any relationship, you'll be fine.

My $.02
 
C

chic

Silver
Nov 20, 2013
4,305
1
0
remember that not only u have foreign (u kno what) access to the u.s. and some $ hey enjoy the workout im sure he is giving you...because it might be just that ... he is working... giving you plenty of sex making you happy that way enjoy....take it e z your young....screw ,,,, work ,,,just remember it might be a terrible ending...
 
A

Aguaita29

Silver
Jul 27, 2011
2,619
272
83
Jennmargar said:
I met a guy in DR a little over a year ago and we have been talking everyday since. I live in the states and have gone to see him 3 times within the year. He is a police officer there and we are both in our 20s. He is very nice and respectable and if there is something that I do not like or if I ask him to do something he does it.
My issue is as I have mentioned he is a police officer and doesn't make much money so when I am there I'm paying for 70% of the stuff which isn't much because we don't really go out much so 70% meaning groceries and a bottle if we go to a drin. He tries to pay for as much as he can because I have told him that I do not want to have to pay for everything.
Does the fact that I foot the bill most of the time make him a sanky? I have read other forums on here about that and he does not fit those characteristics of being a sanky. Or am I just blind? I have been burned in one way or another by every guy i have been with and I don't want to have another one of those guys in my life. I would really love some opinions because my trust issues are really affecting our relationship now. Thanks in advance
Click to expand...


You're already paying for almost everything right now, and I doubt that's going to change. It'll get worse and you'll might even end up supporting some family member of his.
Why complicate your life like this ? If you don't want to get burned, you're starting on the wrong foot.
.
 
G

Gringo Starr

*** I love DR1! ***
Aug 11, 2014
544
0
0
Jennmargar said:
I would really love some opinions
Click to expand...
It's difficult to have any opinion without your photo, really.

Because maybe you are a pretty girl, and my opinion will be "c'mon, baby, find a normal man in US or Europe and forget about this Dominican animal".
But, it's also possible that I look at your photo and say "holy sh!t, Dominican is the only chance to get a boyfriend for her, if not Dominican, maybe only Turkish or Egyptian or Pakistani, but that's too far from US".

And, by the way, are you white or black?

P.S. I can pay for 100% of the stuff if I like you.
 
T

TropicalPaul

Bronze
Sep 3, 2013
1,366
614
113
The surest test is to pretend that you are seriously thinking that you are going to sell up and move to DR to be with him. Tell him you are not going to have a lot of money, but maybe enough to buy a small house that you can live in together. And see his reaction. If he has a wife or is after a visa, then he's going to try everything to put you off.

I run a hotel and we have a stream of Dominican men with their foreign girlfriends, quite often we see the same guy arrive with a different woman every month, each one thinking that this is the real thing. Not every Dominican guy is like that, but there is a certain type who target foreign women, and because of this, these are the ones that you're most likely to meet as a visitor.
 
S

santiagodude

Member
Nov 25, 2012
513
2
18
Keep in mind Dominican men are macho and only a leech would happily feed off his woman and not feel bad or insecure about it....real men pay, even if it kills them....Keep in mind you may be seen as a "meal ticket". The typical Dominican male has more than one female companion, even if his regular girl lives right around the corner (this is cultural)...Your man may not be typical, but with infrequent visits, you will never know.
Read Hillbilly's rules...this guy unfortunately fails........that said, exceptions do exist but keep your eyes open and your purse closed.
 
J

Jennmargar

New member
Jun 14, 2015
20
0
0
Gringo Starr said:
It's difficult to have any opinion without your photo, really.

Because maybe you are a pretty girl, and my opinion will be "c'mon, baby, find a normal man in US or Europe and forget about this Dominican animal".
But, it's also possible that I look at your photo and say "holy sh!t, Dominican is the only chance to get a boyfriend for her, if not Dominican, maybe only Turkish or Egyptian or Pakistani, but that's too far from US".

And, by the way, are you white or black?

P.S. I can pay for 100% of the stuff if I like you.
Click to expand...


Well I'm definitely not ugly but I can be pretty shy. Will need to put my pic up. And I am black. Does that make a difference in sanky situations? I suppose I could find someone in the U.S. But every guy I have met has done me wrong.
 
J

Jennmargar

New member
Jun 14, 2015
20
0
0
My last visit I told him that I want to move there. He said that vacation and living there are very different. He said living there is hard but suggested I open my own business.
 
G

Gringo Starr

*** I love DR1! ***
Aug 11, 2014
544
0
0
Jennmargar said:
Well I'm definitely not ugly but I can be pretty shy. I suppose I could find someone in the U.S. But every guy I have met has done me wrong.
Click to expand...

You say you are in your 20’s. Life has just began. You will find somebody in US. Don’t waste your time and money for Dominican men.

Jennmargar said:
And I am black. Does that make a difference in sanky situations?
Click to expand...

Yes, it makes a difference. Dominican idiots think that all whites are millionaires.
 
A

augustus

New member
Dec 19, 2007
363
53
0
Jennmargar said:
My last visit I told him that I want to move there. He said that vacation and living there are very different. He said living there is hard but suggested I open my own business.
Click to expand...

He appears to be sincere and he can't help that he is broke, so go with the flow but don't move there.........
 
D

DRDone

Member
Sep 29, 2014
293
2
18
It is impossible to know for sure based on the information you've provided, but statistically the odds are against you. There are cultural differences that you can't relate to, and could end up in a very bad situation. It is probably not worth the risk, but good luck and keep your eyes open. If it is a con then he will just tell you what you want to hear and there is no sincerity behind it. Very common around the dr and he will brag to his friends about the con.
 
G

Gringo Starr

*** I love DR1! ***
Aug 11, 2014
544
0
0
You said he works in police here. And you said he is nice and respective. Do you know anything about police here and how they work? His monthly salary is less than 200 dollars, the only way to get some extra cash for him is to rob somebody using his badge and the gun, or do something else illegal. This is what they all do. They rob, steal, extort money, sometimes they kill people, read this forum, there are many threads about Dominican police. Even if he is not doing those things now, he will start doing it as they all do, sooner or later.

Police here is on the same social level like street beggars. Why do you, young girl from US, need that trash?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom