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  1. #1
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    Default reflections after nearly a year in DR...

    The past few weeks I have been realizing how unhappy I am here. I have also realized how woefully unprepared I was for this move. It took a ton of effort and organizing to pack up my life back home and in retrospect, I didn't spend enough time preparing for life here.
    I also feel humbled, as I assumed that speaking Spanish and living in other countries in Latin America would spare me some of the difficulties, the "gringo tax", etc. Not.
    By choice, I moved to a very Dominican city and have found it very difficult to make Dominican friends. I had the misfortune of hooking up with a fraudster foreign lady here who made my first few months very difficult. I put my trust in her, which was a mistake, and recovering from that and the blow to my self-esteem has been hard. She fooled me and I did so much to help her and she screwed me over and took advantage of the fact that I was new here.
    It has been expensive and frustrating and I am not sure what kind of a future I see for myself here. I do love the weather and find it a beautiful country, and dealing superficially with some Dominicans has been OK, although I have been ripped off, lied to and cheated, and every day some attempt is made to part me from my money.
    I feel exhausted and fed up. I do not know if this feeling will pass! I invested a lot of time, money and effort so far, and I don't know if I should throw that away. I have a nice home here but that's about it. I work online, so I am not tied to any particular community here, or to the country.
    I do not know if I should try a community where there are more expats or if my goodwill in general towards the DR has come to an end and I should just go.
    I have contemplated moving to Colombia, or Panama, but there are times I wonder if on balance it would be any better.
    My biggest issue is not the electricity or the garbage, I can definitely work around the inconveniences, as there are also conveniences that help like the colmado and pharmacy delivery, the frequent and inexpensive transportation, etc.
    It is the cheating and the corruption and the lying and the general lack of values that I can't deal with. I understand ALL the many reasons for this, survival, poor education, etc., etc., etc., blah, blah blah but I hate it, it's awful.
    I appeal to the wisdom of the board in this sh!tty time… keep trying? Throw my shoulder into it and see what happens? Or cut my losses.
    I would be especially interested to hear from posters who have left the DR for another Caribbean/Latin American destination and how that worked out.
    Thanks everyone!

  2. #2
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    Sorry to hear it's been such an ordeal. Why did you move to the DR? Was it for work or some other reason?

    Moderator East Coast Forum

    www.DR1.com

  3. #3
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    Where was home for you originally?

  4. #4
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    I think it was the Philosopher cccc of Costambar that once said that "if you don't trust anyone you will not be disappointed".

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chirimoya View Post
    Sorry to hear it's been such an ordeal. Why did you move to the DR? Was it for work or some other reason?
    I moved here because I needed a change in my life. I am very happy that I left Canada as I felt I was kind of stagnating there. I have really enjoyed Latin culture throughout my life and wanted the opportunity to live in a Spanish-speaking country. Although I am glad I left my life there, I feel like the DR may have been a mistake. My other experiences have been in Cuba, Colombia, Venezuela, Mexico and I did not find the people to be like they are here (hate to say it, but it is how I feel). Or maybe a better way of putting it is that here there seems to be a higher proportion of "tigueres" and a smaller proportion of educated people.

  6. #6
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    Just my two pesos, if you are mingling with "barrio peeps" yes, they will rob, lie, steal, look you in the eye while their friend stabs you in the back. Plain honest truth. On the other hand if you mingle with working Dominicans who have a real job, step it up and mix with Dominicans who actually have credit cards in their wallet plus a company given health card. NOW things are truly different.

    AZB would always get on his soap box and preach you have to mix with the right crowd. Can't say nothing but that is the truth.............

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  8. #7
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    It can be trying living here I think most ex-pats would agree.

    Maybe it's the town you are living in? I didn't catch where you are but the place you live can make a big difference, both good and bad.

    Whether it's worth the effort to persevere or not is a difficult one. Many of us have painted ourselves into a corner so make the best of it by a complete change of lifestyle and many just give up and call it quits.
    A change of town may help.

  9. #8
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    Just my two pesos, if you are mingling with "barrio peeps" yes, they will rob, lie, steal, look you in the eye while their friend stabs you in the back. Plain honest truth. On the other hand if you mingle with working Dominicans who have a real job, step it up and mix with Dominicans who actually have credit cards in their wallet plus a company given health card. NOW things are truly different.

    AZB would always get on his soap box and preach you have to mix with the right crowd. Can't say nothing but that is the truth.............



    I have heard this refrain since before I got here. I speak Spanish and know how to conduct myself according to the norms of society. I do not spend time with chopos. I am educated, do not dress like a tourist.
    Just wondering where this mythic "middle class/upper class" is, the Dominicans who are not trying to "aprovechar". In my experience here, they all seem to be doing this, to one degree or another.
    I live in a nice neighbourhood. The other day I phoned a dentist, one recommended by a poster here, by the way, and was quoted 4500 pesos for a teeth cleaning. I had to bribe the clerk at Claro to get my internet installed. Stuff like that. Yep.
    I am not sure that "not mixing with the right crowd" is exactly the issue.

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  11. #9
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    I gather from your other posts that you live in or around La Romana. May I ask why you chose that location?

    Have you considered other places in DR, and have you traveled about the country to get a feel for other cities?

    Before leaving the country, maybe a change of venue might work.

    PS. Had our teeth cleaned in Santo Domingo earlier this year - 1000 pesos each, and she did a great job.

    Administrator
    DR1.com

  12. #10
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    All the people in my social circle are decent people, most better off than I am. I haven't had one issue with those people cheating on me. To the contrary, they are way more generous than the average dutch friend of family would be.

    However, it's the daily dealing with people out of my social circle that ticks me off. In the supermarket, at the doctor, at the insurance company, in traffic, etc. etc.

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