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Thread: LADIES ONLY! And Now A Few Words From Meemselle....because one word is never enough

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    Default LADIES ONLY! And Now A Few Words From Meemselle....because one word is never enough

    Inspired by Cabarete Diaries, I'm posting selected entries from my blog about my life and times here and there.

    This one is from August 4th of this year.

    Wherein My Son Buys Me a Taser
    Posted on August 4, 2015 by meemselle
    %Taser-Stun-gun-300x200

    The title is not a mistake. It happened. It really happened. And mine is bigger.

    Here I am at Caf Valentino with Beloved Son and Beloved Sons roommate. We had had a horrible beach day in Sosewageno umbrellas at Playa Alicia (a must for the red-headed set) and then very crowded Playa Sosa because of scheduled nighttime concert of huge old Dominican singing star, Fernando Villanova. I confess: I had no clue. I have a lot to learn about being Dominican.

    So no umbrellas at Alicia, and then no space with my usual beach guy Roberto. So he sends us to his brother at the very,very,very Batey start of the beach where they anchor the boats and the swimming is awful. But by now, Beloved Son and Best Friend of Beloved Son have discovered pia coladas made in the pineapple. So this demands attention.

    Yadda, yadda, off we go. We head for Caf Valentino in search of I swear cigars. The Boychiks do indeed find cigars.

    However, as we are reposing there, sun-tanned, windblown* a vendor man approaches. Beloved Son is sitting curbside. Vendor-man flicks open 5-inch blade and says to Beloved Son: Do you wanna buy a knife?

    Incredible marketing. Blade pointed to solar plexus. Darling Son is nothing if not resourceful, and manages to inquire: Anything else?

    So Dominican vendor-man pulls out a personal sized, hand-held, rechargeable effing Taser. For RD$800 (US$20). He demonstrates; but only into air. It makes a very scary noise. A sort of Republican noise. Beloved Son instantly tosses $800 onto table and voila! I, his demure Jewish mother, am the owner of an expletive deleted Taser.

    This, Gentle Readers, is a conundrum.

    Those who know me (and who are members of my family because I know you are my only followers) know that I am anti-gun beyond anti-gun. When Beloved Son was small and would get invitations for play-dates. I was, yes, that mother who said, Do you have guns in your house? There was a horrible gun-related tragedy directly affecting one sister when she was just a child, and I can never forgive or forget.

    I know that there are even Democrats, and I know some, who can make the case for responsible gun ownership. I accept that. Proper training. Proper licensing. Complete understanding of need to use.

    I still dont get it.

    Heres just a snapshot of what guns & Murrica mean to each other:

    http://www.thenation.com/wp-content/...nsGR615px2.jpg

    I am anti-gun. To the core. I have also read and studied the US Constitution and guess what? Disagree with the NRA about interpretation of the Second Amendment. Particularly in the 21st Century.

    So what happened at Valentinos?

    My 20-year old son bought me a Taser. Not legal on about 6 levels in US. The demonstration was very dramatic. Nothing has been tazed. I do admit that I love the flashlight feature.

    But its sort of like Pilot Sully Sullivans landing in the Hudson. You cant really practice. What if a friend/family member you practice on has some undiagnosed heart condition (think Len Bias) and you give them a friendly practice zap and they die? Would never do to dogs. Not fond of the cat, but do not wish to incur even further disdain from the feline quotient.

    So practice on myself? Physical courage is not one of my strong suits.

    I thought maybe on a lizard, but Beloved Son says the lizard would explode and I have no desire to see that. Inside out gekko? No thank you.

    So: the Taser. Lovely birthday gift (Will you still need me? Will you still feed me when Im 64?) I do freely admit I have never received anything like it.

    Is it a good idea? Probably. If danger presents itself, will I think to use it? Probably not. If I think to use it, will it be turned against me? Chances, I think, are high for this scenario.

    So how does a demure Jewish matron born and reared in a small town in Massachusetts, who came of age in hippie-Boston of the 1970s and free-wheeling New York City of the late 70s-80s, fiercely feminist, so leftist that if on the rare occasion I dont like the Democrat I vote for the Communist (I did so love Angela Daviss hair and you know how much I jadore Jessica Mitford) come to have possession of a personal Taser in my handbag? (Mid-sized embroidered black and red Liz Claibornelovely scarlet interior lining).

    First of all, it was just funny that the salesman flicked open a switchblade as the opening to his sales pitch. How does one say no after that? Do you want to buy a knife? Ummm, no? So what else do you have? Aha. A Taser. For my mother. Please, sir. Put away the knife.

    So for $800 pesosand to make the salesman go away without stabbing us or tazing us, I have received my 64th birthday present from my equally pinko-Commie-liberal son.

    This is just bizarre.

    Its in my Liz Claiborne bag. Will I ever have it in my hand? I dont know. If I did, will I have the presence of mind to use it? I dont know.

    So I guess this is the difference between Republicans and Democrats. They know. I dont.

    *Purely for pleasure: my parents most favorite love song. One of mine, too. Grace sings!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ1ZLiyGrE0

  2. Likes AlterEgo, 4*4*4, Neargale, Jelly, Eleutheria and 8 others liked this post
  3. #2
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    your son should have asked to see more. maybe the next item in the bag would be uzi. and after that? "no? you no like, my fren? how about this missile, then? missile good."

    North Coast Moderator

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    Anyone know where I can buy a tazer in the Bavaro area.

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    Instead of using a taser, maby you would be better off throwing gefilte fish or matze balls?

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    they are more suited for choking someone to death with them, i think. it's better to taser the thief and claim he was hit by the lightning.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dv8 View Post
    they are more suited for choking someone to death with them, i think. it's better to taser the thief and claim he was hit by the lightning.
    Who remembers the dr1 member who tasered himself?
    Nice blog Meemselle. very entertaining.
    Thanks for sharing.

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    Meems, you can practice on anyone. Tasers do not interfere with the heart nor pacemakers. They are high voltage and extremely low wattage. They may fall and break something however. If you ever tase Easton please post the video.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dulce View Post
    Who remembers the dr1 member who tasered himself?
    Nice blog Meemselle. very entertaining.
    Thanks for sharing.
    He is an active poster, won't say who, as he is a little "touchy" about the story.

    Hint besos!

    Terrible Tambo'

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    didn't he bite off tip of his tongue?

    North Coast Moderator

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    Quote Originally Posted by JDJones View Post
    Meemselle's got one for sale...
    I don't think she lives in the Bavaro area. If she does let me know.

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