Why do dominicans have no manners?

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ROLLOUT

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Jan 30, 2012
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Now, before y'all go gettin all wrapped around the axle, please understand that this is not an indictment against all Dominicans. I'm simply speaking of the ones generally come into contact with.
Ex; gf will say, "send me photos of xyx". And I'll shut her down with a "no". She will ask why, and I explain that its because she didn't ask properly (not the first time). "but I asked you to send me the photos correctly". At that point, I simply move onto another subject, and in true dominican fashion the issue of the photos is quickly forgotten.

It is a cultural thing that the words please and thank you are virtually non-existent, or am I missing the mark altogether? Call me an a-hole, but this chaps my ass like not much can.
 
Sep 4, 2012
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Have you properly explained this to her?

The one thing I do have noticed is the lack of "personal space." I mean and just to give an example; the lines at the supermarket or ATM machine or any lines for the matters, they would literally breath on your back. That I can't stand!
 

malko

Campesino !! :)
Jan 12, 2013
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So true. Adults I dont really mind, or notice it less.
But the kids !!! Rich, poor, campesino, city folk, black, white, tall, short, fat, skinny...... all the same.
No please nor thank you.......Da me ! Da me ! te va regalar galleta, muchachito de mierda ! :)
Needless to say either they adapt quickly, or dont get invited often ( understand, like in never again ).
 

Mauricio

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Nov 18, 2002
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What struck me last week when I was in a resort: as long as the waiters speak English because they think I'm a tourist they are friendly, when they realize I speak Spanish with a Dominican accent they switch to the common unfriendly commanding and sometimes rude way of speaking. Sometimes I think it's more a kind of 'confianza' Dominicans have among each other and not so much plain rudeness.
 

Derfish

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Jan 7, 2016
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I give out cookies to neighborhood kids, but require that they say the word cookie and request that they say Thank-you afterwards. When I have explained what Thank-you means I have found some that don't know what gracias means as a translation, never heard it apparently! One kid went without a cookie for a coupole of weeks because he refused to say the word cookie. Finally he said "Da me un cookie cono!"
Der Fish
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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i dunno. our maid says gracias even when i pay her the salary which is something she worked for and deserves. not to mention a long litany of thank yous after the food: to miesposo for buying the stuff, to me for cooking it and to jesus to round it all up.
 

ROLLOUT

Silver
Jan 30, 2012
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Have you properly explained this to her?

The one thing I do have noticed is the lack of "personal space." I mean and just to give an example; the lines at the supermarket or ATM machine or any lines for the matters, they would literally breath on your back. That I can't stand!

I've explained till I'm blue in the face; I think its the short-term memory thing. For example, I'll tell her not to yammer away at me full tilt, as I'm a gringo, and you gotta speak slow. But let her get the least bit excited, and the gringo speak goes out the window.
 

malko

Campesino !! :)
Jan 12, 2013
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i dunno. our maid says gracias even when i pay her the salary which is something she worked for and deserves. not to mention a long litany of thank yous after the food: to miesposo for buying the stuff, to me for cooking it and to jesus to round it all up.

Also true, lots of people do say thank you and please,...... of course.

I just notice it alot more among kids. And kind of grinds me the wrong way.
I have even had a couple of lawyers ( no less ), cos their porky overweight stinky kid said to me, at my table " da me ......whatever " . The tone wasnt great over.
When I corrected him, they got offended. Their education blablaba.....
aqui no, queridos and you are lucky I didnt clip him around the ear :) .
Uproar !! Blablaba..... I just might leave, says the dad.
Well, you son of a three-legged blind goat. Get the f@#$ out and never come back. :) :)
 

jd426

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Dec 12, 2009
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I give out cookies to neighborhood kids, but require that they say the word cookie and request that they say Thank-you afterwards. When I have explained what Thank-you means I have found some that don't know what gracias means as a translation, never heard it apparently! One kid went without a cookie for a coupole of weeks because he refused to say the word cookie. Finally he said "Da me un cookie cono!"
Der Fish

LMAO..... thats awesome...
thanks for that..
 

Peterj

Bronze
Oct 7, 2002
1,456
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Dominican Republic
What struck me last week when I was in a resort: as long as the waiters speak English because they think I'm a tourist they are friendly, when they realize I speak Spanish with a Dominican accent they switch to the common unfriendly commanding and sometimes rude way of speaking. Sometimes I think it's more a kind of 'confianza' Dominicans have among each other and not so much plain rudeness.

Well, you are from Holland.... :p :p :p
 

bob saunders

Platinum
Jan 1, 2002
32,471
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dr1.com
We work at teaching manners starting with 2 year olds at the school. I work at making the teachers not pushing the kids to one side so they can order at the cafeteria first. Some kids are very polite and have obviously been taught good manners at home. For example our gardener has three children, aged 9, 13, and 16 = all are extremely well mannered, as are both parents.
Some of the kids when they are not in school are on the street all the rest of the time, and they learn street manners- meaning swearing, fighting....etc. They are hard to straighten out.
Some of our habits are considered rude to Dominicans, for example eating with our bare hands.
 

Derfish

Gold
Jan 7, 2016
4,441
2
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We work at teaching manners starting with 2 year olds at the school. I work at making the teachers not pushing the kids to one side so they can order at the cafeteria first. Some kids are very polite and have obviously been taught good manners at home. For example our gardener has three children, aged 9, 13, and 16 = all are extremely well mannered, as are both parents.
Some of the kids when they are not in school are on the street all the rest of the time, and they learn street manners- meaning swearing, fighting....etc. They are hard to straighten out.
Some of our habits are considered rude to Dominicans, for example eating with our bare hands.

They put on gloves before eating, or what is that supposed to mean?
Der Fish
 

ROLLOUT

Silver
Jan 30, 2012
2,198
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48
We work at teaching manners starting with 2 year olds at the school. I work at making the teachers not pushing the kids to one side so they can order at the cafeteria first. Some kids are very polite and have obviously been taught good manners at home. For example our gardener has three children, aged 9, 13, and 16 = all are extremely well mannered, as are both parents.
Some of the kids when they are not in school are on the street all the rest of the time, and they learn street manners- meaning swearing, fighting....etc. They are hard to straighten out.
Some of our habits are considered rude to Dominicans, for example eating with our bare hands.

I commend you for your efforts. It needs to start somewhere.
 

Meemselle

Just A Few Words
Oct 27, 2014
2,841
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manners

I had an ongoing effort with the granddaughter of a dear friend. She used to stamp her feet and yell at her abuelo and it made me insane. But then again, I am a woman of a certain age and I was raised in a small town in New England and we had to stand up when we were called on in school.

I kept lovely crayons and colored pencils and magic markers and coloring books that Chantal LOVED to play with when she came to visit, but we had a rule, that unless she used the palabras magicas, I would not bring them out. She was/is a very strong minded little girl, but Sra. Meems is older and meaner. We got to the point where we were starting to work on using las palabras magicas (por favor y gracias) for other things as well. I'm not sure if it transferred to other parts of her life, but she knew for certain that without por favor y gracias, Sra. Meems was NOT bringing out the coloring books.

Each journey begins with a step.
 
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