la jalba y la bruja.

malko

Campesino !! :)
Jan 12, 2013
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Was trying to find the thread on dominicanisisms...........anyway......

I love jalbas (??), ie fresh water crabs. Usally they are cooked in hot water on a fire in an outside kitchen, la fodonga, or something that sounds like that. Thats half the fun. Everyone sits around eatimg the crabs, with guineos to scoop out the fat.
It gets rather messy, so outside is nice.
On a side note, I used to be fussy. I didint eat crabs. Too messy, too much work.
Then I evolved and starting eating the " pinches" , crack them open and eat the lovely, tasty white meat from inside.
As of late, I have attained a high grade of enlightement and have started eating the body of the beast itself. Quite a ritual, I must say.
Break off the sexual organ, cos yes, yes there are se?or and se?ora crabs. Then part open the beast. Scoop out the fat with a guineo, if u are lucky you may even get some eggs in there.
Then break up the rest to get to the white meat.
Delicious.

Ok, so normally at the end of the feast, the BIL's and I, laze around drinking coffee spiked with rum, and smoking cigarettes...... yes, its a maaaaans world :) :). And las mujers tidy up and dispose of the mountain of shells and stuff.
I had allready noticed the shells were broken up, to not say grinded before going in the bin.
I never asked, cos a) wasnt my problem and b) they tend to be wary of talking about supernatural things to me......as I tend to mock easy. ( and yes, i had a feeling it was a brujo/vodoo/nanito/galipota related thing ).

So yesterday I had a se?or round, to eat jalbas the civilised way. At a table, with hand-wash bassins and all the trimmings.
I was surprised, thinking we would do the outside, whole family thingy.
My wife said its not possible cos he is buena gente, educado, rico y , mas importante, blanco ;)
First thought was, W.T.F ?
Second was, but, but, I am also all of those things, no ? si, si, pero tu ta de aqui, tu sabes de to eso. Ok..... thanks, I guess, cou?ada.

All goes well. We finish eating. So the guy is dominican, BTW. Successful, world traveler, very cosmopolite..... not your average motoconcho type ( sorry to all motocomchos, but you know what i mean ;) ).
Having finished, liquor, coffee and cigars are served on the balcony, he says, discreetly, but not discreetly enough, la trabajadora knows, right ?
Yes, yes dont worry. And off go the ladys.
Slyly, I say to him that we dont use in-house help, thank you very much, and ask him if he was checking to make sure the shells would be crushed......
He, kind of surprised, says well yes, he was.
So please tell why the shells need to be crushed, I beg you.

And yes my suspicion was spot on.
The shell of a crab you eat can be used for one of the most poweful magic spell that exists.
And not a spell to make you rich, please keep in mind, more like a spell that makes your teeth fall out and your di.ck go limp.
And only a select few brujos can reverse that dark magic ( against mucho, mucho dinero, no doubt ).

So people, dont forget. Crush up yoir crab shells !!!! :) :) :)
 

Bronxboy

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2007
14,107
595
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Man, I love a good crab.

The "tammale" is the best. Females of course when you buy.

tammale.jpg

Lobster tammale even better.

tammale2.jpg



They sell a tammale spread in supermarkets...............Sort of like a "pate"
 

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
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once i was invited by a dominican gal to have crabs in her apartment in a barrio near the prison (yes, i know how it sounds). there was no power and we sat on the balcony with stones to crush shells and a bowl of boiled platanos to scoop the insides. i was sitting there, noming away when my host's friend showed up for a free meal. he looked at me most suspiciously and announced that it's not gringo like to eat crabs like that. frankly speaking i think the darkness did help for i saw nothing of what i was eating, ha ha ha.

ps asked miesposo about crushing shells, he never heard of that.
 

beeza

Silver
Nov 2, 2006
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My missus loves em. She has a guy who delivers them every now and then for 350 pesos for a dozen!

She hasn't heard of this story though. Although I can add, that one night after a jaiba supper, there was a crash from the kitchen in the middle of the night. Turned out to be an escapee jaiba that never made it to the pot. It had scuttled under the washing up drainer and in the middle of the night, knocked off a glass!
 

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
we have them thingies walk into the garden occasionally but once a crab somehow got inside the house and i had to dug it from under the bed in guest bedroom. it made quite a racket too and was surrounded by very curious cats. i may add it was not a runaway from that day's menu but just a regular wild animal. how did it get in is a mystery to me. i picked it up with a folded towel and set it free outside.
 

popeye

Bronze
Jan 22, 2016
609
0
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I cleam crabs before I cook, Mexicans and Dominicans all cook them whole. not me, taste way much better without being cooked with gutts
 

AlterEgo

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
23,097
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South Coast
Dv8, my husband never heard this either. We just had a mountain of crabs last week and the maid double bagged the shells and put them aside. We just asked her about crab shells and she reminded me about bagging them separately (at the time she was talking very fast and I didn't follow, thought it was about them smelling up garbage and dogs).

Anyway, according to her, if you grind them into a powder and throw that powder on someone's head/face you put a curse on them. She says you don't have to be a bruja. Anyone can do this.

Learn something new every day in the campo.

Mr AE is still shaking his head.