The Gringo Report April 8 2016 - You are not in Kansas anymore?

Cdn_Gringo

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Apr 29, 2014
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The more I learn, the more I come to realize that I didn?t know squat about living in the Dominican Republic. What I thought I knew about dealing with other people is a product of my upbringing in a land far away from here. This country, it?s people and some of my Expat acquaintances have changed me over the years. It is difficult to accept that this change in me is for the better when it is so negative and disappointing in nature. However, to survive I have been forced to adapt and to fundamentally change my approach to day to day life. I am not disappointed that my initial naivety has morphed into a better understanding of man?s inhumanity to his fellow man. I can now see that my long held beliefs were wrong from the outset. The Dominican Republic does not have a monopoly on violence, killing, home invasion and all around disgusting human behavior. Examples of this can be found in every country in the world. But I live here, in the DR, and it is here that I must look into the face of my potential downfall everyday with my eyes wide open because quite frankly reality is reality and one ignores it at their own peril.

The recent murder of a senior citizen in Sos?a not 100 feet from where I sat on a bar stool on many occasions compels me to speak now, in the hopes that someone, somewhere, sometime can avoid their own downfall. We often do not learn the important lessons in life until after we have suffered the consequences of our decision(s). Sometimes we need to be forced to open our eyes and re-evaluate our beliefs and way of thinking, sometimes forcefully and against our will. I hope to do that for you today.

What is paradise? Paradise is a Utopian concept sold to us in movies and books. It is the concept that forms the dream of moving to a place more appealing than where we are. To open a bar on the beach, work two hours a day and play for the remaining 22. To sit beneath the palm trees with a cooling breeze soaking in the tranquility of a glorious sunset. To live from day to day pursuing those things that give us pleasure without having to endure those things that do not. True paradise is an illusion or at best a deluded state of mind. We are all never more than a couple of minutes, a couple of hours or a couple of days away from disaster no matter where we happen to be.

There is much to like and appreciate about living in the Dominican Republic, among its people, immersed in their culture and sharing
?the dream? with fellow expats some of whom willingly and mistakenly view this exactly the same way I did. One can live here and be very successful at it. One can also fail big-time without much effort required. Today, I am not addressing all the ?good? or even the mediocre. I am talking about the very worst of the very bad that can be found on every street, in every town and in every residential community in this country. To survive you need to know that there are people who will do you wrong with no second thoughts. Yes there are people just like this in our home countries and every other place on the planet, but day to day, for those living in the DR, it is the people here that comprise the single biggest threat to our continued enjoyment of life and paradise.

Let?s start with those who are incapable of learning or choose not to learn. I am fortunate to know a couple from the USA who are easily the nicest people I have ever met. Always willing to listen, to help, to offer the clothes off their backs. They genuinely care about everyone they encounter. I have never heard them utter a disparaging word about anyone or anything. I am sure they have had such thoughts, but it never shows. After lots of travelling and living for a period of time in a South American country, they moved here for reasons that are very much their own. They did everything wrong. From the moment they stepped off the plane they befriended everyone they met. They inquired about stranger?s families, they wanted to know everything about everyone. They wanted to help everyone, they wanted to be liked by everyone. They shared details of their lives as if they were reading from an autobiography. This couple was very successful at this. Everyone knows them, seems to like them and enjoys their company. This success emboldened them even further and they proceeded to buy property here on the North Coast. In their minds, their dream was to live in a villa, and that?s what they bought. Like so many, they looked at what was available at the time, picked the one they like the most and paid what was being asked give or take. What was being asked was way too much for what they got, but they were living the dream and were happy so more power to them. Like so many others who come here they were at the outset living in a fantasy world. A world of their own imagination. They could not or would not accept that they were not in Kansas anymore. ?Things? ARE different here. The dream continued with never a thought of caution or prudence.

They hired a maid and a gardener. They welcomed both of these locals into their home and their family. These gringos inquired about their staff?s families, day to day tribulations of what anyone could easily see was a hard life without much prospect for long term gain - Very much a subsistence lifestyle. These gringos developed empathy for these locals. They fed, them, gave them things from their home, treated them as if they had known each other all their lives and had shared some sort of corporeal existence on this planet. The kindness and generosity did not stop there. The greeted and interacted with the employees of other families in their neighborhood. They waved and said hello to literally everyone who passed within 100 feet of them. This outgoing nature was extended to all of their neighbors some of whom must have been shaking their heads knowing that trouble was not far off. Not once did anyone that I know of pull these two aside and ask, ?what the h$ll are you doing??

Everything these people did while here was wrong. It wasn?t wrong in their minds with their North American perspectives, but was wrong because in every case these two failed to appreciate and temper every decision they made with a firm understanding of where they were and who they were dealing with. They were living a predictable daily routine. They sometimes left the house without locking the doors. Many people had been to their home, knew far too much about them and knew they were ripe for the picking. They were in large part, the maestro of their own demise.

In mere months, the lives of my two friends began to fall apart. Their house was burgled while they were away. Small things, jewelry, cash a curling iron that type of thing. Sure the gringos felt violated and disappointed and probably a little scared. They had no safe for their valuables. They had an alarm system, but didn?t know how it worked or even if it worked. They had no dogs, no firearms nothing but a kitchen knife to bring to bear. They had no security plan and probably never knew they needed one. These two then committed the biggest of all errors that one can commit here. They failed to learn from their experience and took no corrective action to prevent this from happening again except they made sure to lock the doors from now on.

They did not change their routine, they did not stop being the nicest people in the world, life went on. About three weeks later, their house was robbed again. This time for the bigger stuff. TVs, computers, appliances etc. Thankfully this was a turning point for our gringos. They no longer felt safe and comfortable in their home. Their trusting nature had been shaken. Being unable or unwilling to adjust and adapt they decided to leave the DR. Within a month they were back in the USA. I am convinced, this decision saved one or both their lives. Here is why:

There is a disparity of income and economic opportunity throughout the DR. There are countless examples of the poverty and the local?s inability to see past their next meal in the various discussion threads on dr1.com. New gringos for the most part do not know nor can they even begin to understand the hardship many Dominicans live every day. Our perceptions are based on a lifetime of experience in country that is nothing like the Dominican Republic. At home, we have poor people. Our poor people are quite well off compared to those living in poverty here in the DR. We have welfare, or social assistance. We have affordable housing programs, we have addiction treatment programs and facilities and we have violent crime as well. None of that, however, directly compares to the reality in DR. People are killed here for monetary amounts that total less than a couple weeks of Starbuck coffees. The amount of money I spent on a dinner for four people at a decent restaurant back home is more than many make here in a month of seriously difficult work.

Those who move to paradise and do not quickly come to the conclusion that some adjustments are needed to their way of thinking and to the activities that they engage in, are the ones who fail to thrive here at best and at worst are the ones we read about as having been the victims of crime ? the cost of which can be very dear indeed.

So what is one to do when they arrive in paradise. It would be nice if everyone coming to this country who plans to live in the local economy for a period of time knew everything that I know or that all of the longtime posters repeat over and over again on dr1.com. Alas, not everyone does and some are slower learners than others. I used to afford everyone a half measure of trust and respect. I now separate those two items into separate glasses ? respect is half full, trust is completely empty. Respect fills or drains based on my experiences with the particular individual. Trust is completely earned and no one has yet attained a full glass of trust. I have one very good friend here. This person is about as close to having as much trust as I am prepared to give anyone, but that level of trust is not absolute.

The saying is that ?everyone has their price.? I believe this to be a very accurate assessment of humanity. We see examples of corporations acting in their own best interests to the detriment of their employees, the environment or their customers. We read about politicians with the hands outstretched back home and here in the DR. We all know someone who has been the victim of a crime at home and many of us know or know of someone here who is in the same boat in this country. We know that the justice system in the DR really isn?t a system at all. We know that corruption permeates all levels of society here. We know that circumstances unfold differently here based on the colour of one?s skin and the perception of wealth by the police, the Govt., the shop keepers and by extension every single Dominican and Haitian we meet. There are those locals who do not need to take advantage or choose not to take advantage but with a strong enough inducement, I fear than no local or gringo for that matter, is above reproach. Not here in the DR and not at home in my own country. It is what constitutes a temptation or inducement that makes the DR different from what we are most familiar with back home.

When I arrived in the country to live fulltime I was naive despite visiting for more than 12 years. Because I am still learning, in some respects I am still naive. Sometimes I fail to notice when I am paying for my 8000.00 pesos worth of groceries, there are eyes watching me. More and more over time I noticed these sets of eyes and check to make sure the attached face isn?t in my rearview mirror when I leave the parking lot. There were times when I reached into my pocket to pull out a 1000.00 peso note to pay for a 250.00 peso purchase and didn?t even consider that the till wouldn?t have enough money in to provide change. It?s only 1000.00 pesos I would say to myself, but the reality is that a lot of locals don?t have a 1000 pesos at any given moment. I would walk out of the bank and every single motoconcho driver parked across the street is making eye contact with me, every single time. Some I am sure hoping that I need a ride somewhere, but I know at least one is asking themselves how to best get some or all of what is in my pocket and if doing so is worth the risk.

I do not talk about myself in detail with strangers. If I feel compelled to tell someone where I live I give a general location. I never say the ?purple house on the left just past the colmado.? I don?t invite many people back to my home very often and never having just met them. If I do invite people, I now specifically ask that they not bring anyone else. I was very surprised who some people had in tow when they arrived at my door. I do not allow my maid to have more than one foot off the floor at a time, because I know if she falls I will have to pay for here carelessness one way or the other. I don?t give my gardener power tools to work with. It is slower but much safer to have him swinging a machete (a tool he has a lifetime of experiencing using) than it is for him to run over his foot with the lawnmower. I can still cut my own grass so I do, for now.

I am reasonably certain that the level of inducement needed to prompt someone to steal from me is very low. With most of the population that I interact with every day, I know they are focused on what they can provide for dinner and won?t be investing the money in my pocket in the stock market if they are successful at getting their hands on it by hook or by crook. I actively work at not providing an inducement that would cause someone to act against me. I don?t get staggeringly drunk in public. If I have just been to the bank, I make the pain-in-the-a$$ decision to come home and drop off what is not needed before going back out or I opt to withdrawal only what I need knowing that I can get more later if needed. Everything I do is now a conscious decision that weighs the risks vs the rewards. Should I drive into town tonight or should I take a taxi? Should I hope on a moto or call a tourist taxi? Am I going to be in a crowd of people? What do I not need to have in my pockets that I might lose? Do I need my driver?s license/cedula or will a photocopy do? I sometimes feel like I am in one of those public service commercials on TV back home, advising women to be aware of their surrounds when walking to their car in a deserted parking lot. I make eye contact with everyone now. I make sure they know I see them. When walking, I often stop, turn around and look at those behind me. If I turn around again and see the same face, I make a decision. I don?t sit under palm trees with lots of coconuts handing precariously above my head. It?s a lot of work. I am getting better at risk assessment. Sometimes, I still don?t make the safest decision because I do like to have some fun now and then and every eventuality cannot be foreseen and avoided, but I like my chances (not to jinx myself). I do ask myself from time to time if I have developed a serious case of paranoia. Then I read about a foreigner who was deliberately targeted for their money and then killed and I know my answer. I feel that I am much better equipped to deal with life here today than I was when I arrived.

When you swim with sharks, eventually you will get bitten. Probably not the first time and probably not every time, but sooner or later. If you dabble in the seedy side of life in this country, be it the chicas, drugs, street gambling etc, you are placing yourself in a comprised position in a place that has already compromised your situation by the very nature of your skin colour and the perception that ?the gringo must have some money somewhere.? I have spoken with more than a few who have recounted stories of long term employees or acquaintances having stolen from them or otherwise done something that was perceived as being out of character and unexpected. It is very difficult to first admit that living in the DR is not exactly like we envisioned. It is even harder for some to admit that they made a mistake and to get out of Dodge before they endure serious hardship.

The sun comes up every day and with that sun comes the opportunity for someone to better their situation at your expense and often to your own detriment. It is possible to live in this country as a foreigner. It is possible to be happy here. It is possible to survive here. It is also very easy to be a victim, suffer serious injury or even die here. Every decision that you make must be made with the best possible understanding of the rules of the jungle. These rules are not the same as they are at home, scales of economy alone are not working in a foreigner?s favor. Almost assuredly, one person you encounter each day has entertained the notion of getting some of what you have, probably more than one person. Give them just enough of an inducement and the opportunity and you will see just how quickly the shark turns and bites you.

It is sad and distressing that foreigners are specific targets for exploitation and violence in this country. That?s not to say to that local against local problems don?t outstrip those involving foreigners. Thankfully, no one I know personally has been killed. I do know some that have been robbed, raped, burgled and shot. I am horrified by the lies that came out of the mouths of those I thought deserving of my trust and respect. Reality continues to teach and reinforce that I need to be careful and consider the risks vs the rewards.

Everyone?s situation is different. I am not saying don?t come here or to stay locked in your homes. I am saying that everyone needs to reassess their long held beliefs to see if any of those need to be adjusted. When you put a tiger in a cage and play with it like a pet, getting mauled certainly has to be one of the logical outcomes that you have previously considered. Being injured by the tiger should not be a complete surprise. Common sense, a desire to stay safe and an acceptance that you are not in Kansas anymore has to become part of one?s reality. I have accepted my reality as I have come to understand it. I cannot help but believe, that I am more at risk of misfortune here than I was at home. Locals and foreigners alike will continue to be victims of crime here. Sometimes losing their lives in the process. You can never be completely safe, but you can greatly increase your odds of seeing the sunrise again, if you choose to accept reality for what it is and not what you wish it to be.

Be safe.
 
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GringoRubio

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Oct 15, 2015
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Well, I'm sure that was cathartic to write that. Well done. :classic:

First, I'd point out that Sousa is a microcosm that may well be located in the DR, but it's not representative of thr DR.

But, the rant stands. Compared to Central America, I have to describe the DR as predatory and choatic. I spent a few months hating it thinking of it as a cesspool. It took me that long to see the DR as a melting pot of cultures, languages, and even economic strata. It's a choatic but also creative and dynamic. I like it now.

I'd suggest that you may be ready to explore elsewhere. I never buy. When life gets stale, I just pick up and move on.
 

DRob

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Aug 15, 2007
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OP feels the way he feels. That said, Sosua is a fairly unique animal. I've noticed there are relatively few similar stories coming from people in Las Terrenas, Cabrera, Santiago or Jarabacoa.

A little awareness and sober-minded diligence goes a long way, wherever you hang your hat.
 

GringoRubio

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Oct 15, 2015
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As a PostScript, I'll add that the tourist areas are the most dangerous. The interaction between the relative wealth of tourists and the locals creates an unhealthy distortion and predictable problems. I've always had my best experiences well away for tourists. I'm breaking my own rules here Puerto Plata.
 

Mauricio

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Nov 18, 2002
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Didn't read the complete piece but what I read was probably very true for the north coast. In SD things are very different.
 

bob saunders

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Jan 1, 2002
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Here in Jarabacoa there is a lot of wealth, but it is mainly Dominican wealthy and they carry guns, fortify their houses and use bodyguards.
I was talking with a Dominican friend today who just sold his colmado in Santo Domingo. Too much work for too little reward and having to fire two employees for stealing in the past year and being robbed several times was too much for him. The thieves and parasites don't just target expats and tourists, they target whatever seems like an easy target.
Dominicans think anyone with a business is a millionaire.
 

Matilda

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Sep 13, 2006
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Very very different in the campo too. I really cannot imagine living like that - maybe time to get out of Sosua and discover some of the other places around the country which are more like the paradise you were looking for.

Matilda
 

AlterEgo

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Jan 9, 2009
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Very very different in the campo too. I really cannot imagine living like that - maybe time to get out of Sosua and discover some of the other places around the country which are more like the paradise you were looking for.

Matilda

It's a Catch-22 Matilda. Many gringos do not speak Spanish, have no clue about anything Dominican, and want to live where people speaking their language live. Any place with loads of foreigners in DR is going to attract the dregs of Dominican society looking for a fast buck. Instead of the safety in numbers that they hoped for, they get the opposite.

Santo Domingo and the campo are worlds apart from most of the north and northeast coast. They each need a certain type of person. I could happily live in SD, especially Gascue, but I'm mostly a city girl at heart. I'm very content in the campo though. A beach walking distance, 15 tarea conuco, our dogs and my Kindle are all I need. SD and San Cristobal are close. About the only thing that worries me occasionally is something like a heart attack without a great hospital nearby
 

william webster

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Jan 16, 2009
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I have long warned of the tourist areas..... and still do.

AE, you're right and gringo is a perfect example.
He eyed Rio San Juan initially but his lack of Spanish thwarted him (right Cdn ??)

But he is right... we (expats) need to conduct ourselves differently.
I don't often walk into a bar and pull up a stool here... as I would in London, or other place.

Firm but fair is the rule for relationships (IMO).

I hope you're not too deep in the dumps Dave, chin up.
 

miguel james

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Nov 6, 2012
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Well said OP:) Let's not over look the few who just don't want to "inhale" good common sense information given to them...I on many occasionally have tried to share my 2cents and was made to feel like I was from Mars. Just 2wks ago I saw a expart been giving the "paradise" setup by people who are known in the town as no good:speechles "no you can open the business and watch it from your home country with cameras"...lol
 

Derfish

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Jan 7, 2016
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We all have our own ideas and perceptions. Some say to stay behind a 12 ft fence and others to not drive here, etc... I believe in the law of attraction.a semispiritual idea that that which one thinks about comes to pass for them. Had friends in Florida who were always trembling in fear of being robbed, and guess what they were robbed. Not once but twice, but they had been on fear for quite a while before their bad luck.
Yes I have had things disappear from my possession here including my passport, but only twice in my life have I been robbed and both times were by white guys my own age in the USA.
Der Fish
 

Mauricio

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Nov 18, 2002
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In my case things are different for example because most people around me have more to lose than I do. Motoconchos don't look up when I pass but I must say I hardly walk. If I do I too look back now and then if someone is following me but I can't say I feel unsafe. Maybe it's also something what disappears with the years.

In my hometown I'd walk home at 1 am without a problem ofcourse here I wouldn't and I do feel a bit unsafe when driving at night after midnight, no cars in the streets except me.

Probably it's also different because of being married to a Dominican. And I'm clearly a foreigner by how I look but in SD there are so many foreigners, very white Dominicans, blue eyed Dominicans. I look around in my church sometimes and think: if that brother or sister would be in Holland I wouldn't realize he or she's not Dutch. (My wife says that's not true though).

For me it comes down to: I don't think I stand out in the crowd. SD is more and more a melting pot.
 

DRDone

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Sep 29, 2014
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Gringo,

So one question: Why are you still there? Given your analytic abilities I'm sure you can survive there, but it does not sound like you are enjoying life. Maybe it is time to cut your losses (whatever they are) and head back to cooling pastures. You may have a much better appreciation for it after looking into the heart of darkness. I'd suggest start living again, as what you're describing is not any life anyone would choose. Get out and rediscover yourself rather than becoming what you despise.
Take care.
 

jstarebel

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Oct 4, 2013
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Funny yall talk about SD. That's where I didn't feel safe walking.

To Canadian Gringo. Paradise is not a place. No place in the world is "Paradise". Paradise is a state of mind. Wherever you are happiest is where yours of anybody else's paradise exists. When where you are ceases to be paradise, there is always somewhere else where one can find true paradise. I hope you find yours again, and I liked reading your post very much. You write well..
 

Mauricio

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Nov 18, 2002
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Gringo,

So one question: Why are you still there? Given your analytic abilities I'm sure you can survive there, but it does not sound like you are enjoying life. Maybe it is time to cut your losses (whatever they are) and head back to cooling pastures. You may have a much better appreciation for it after looking into the heart of darkness. I'd suggest start living again, as what you're describing is not any life anyone would choose. Get out and rediscover yourself rather than becoming what you despise.
Take care.

I was back in europe for a while last month and I am not really sure if I can call that the cooling pastures. Could be different for Gringo though.
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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you gotta count your blessing, gringo, for this dominican experience is clearly tickling your narrative nerve and making you write dissertations on the subject that are as long as "war and peace".

chill out, man. you need to find a happy place within you. and to rediscover backspace key on your keyboard.