Cautionary Tale of dealing with Haitian "family".

GringoRubio

Bronze
Oct 15, 2015
1,162
116
63
So, I had the "flu" a few weeks ago. Flu in quotes because it was probably the usual malady that comes when there's no cloro in the rinse water.

I was awoken to be asked if it's okay for my girlfriend's 2 Haitian female cousins with 3 children can move into the other house. My response was "Co?o, no!" and thinking that this was days in the future, I went back to sleep. I was being asked only after the fact because they were already here.

Within just a few days, they have destroyed a brand new mattress which should have lasted 10-20 years, they broke the door knobs in the house, they dirtied the walls, one young boy drew on the walls. They stole 3000 pesos that we know about. They left the water running and drained the cistern, so several apartments are without water. And, I'm sure there is more in the future to clean up the mess.

They were supposed to have a stipend of USD$200/month from a father in the USA. A loan to help them get started with a mattress was reneged on. The Colmado credit is, of course, on us, but now closed.

My favorite was the vast amount of food they cooked only to have it all spoil. Apparently, when faced with supply of food from the colmado that could have lasted weeks, giving them time to, say, look for work or a permenent place to live, it was .... I'm lost for words. I really have no rational answer to their behavior.

They say they are 'legal' with passports and visas, but when told that they will move on Monday and if they fail to move, the police will be called, it definitely got their attention.

We've joined forces with the owner of the casa to move everything from the house and return it on Monday. It could be bumpy ride, but we'll see. We'll need to pay the damages, of course.

Now with disaster looming, the father in the united states surfaces to say that he has no work and can't send any money, but is begging for help. The kicker is that they have a nice house in the Haiti and should know how to live in a house without destroying it. However, I'm well beyond the point of believing anything. I'm guessing that they might have had a shack a rusty zinc metal for a roof and siding and dirt floor that can absorb the type of abuse they can mete out. Whatever they had, I'm sure it has been long scavenged or probably sold in advance for their passage.

I can deal with a lot of things, but I just can't deal with liars. Maybe, and I mean a big fat maybe like an over filled water balloon ready to pop, I could help them if they were honest and good people from the start, but this is unacceptable and abusive. Mala gente.

PS- I don't know where to start with my girlfriend. I'm learning slowly that to live with Dominicans you have to be the Jefe, be an A-hole, and throw your weight around. I don't like being that person. I think I'd rather live alone.
 
Last edited:

rice&beans

Silver
May 16, 2010
4,293
374
83
So, I had the "flu" a few weeks ago. Flu in quotes because it was probably the usual malady that comes when there's no cloro in the rinse water.

I was awoken to be asked if it's okay for my girlfriend's 2 Haitian female cousins with 3 children can move into the other house. My response was "Co?o, no!" and thinking that this was days in the future, I went back to sleep. I was being asked only after the fact because they were already here.

Within just a few days, they have destroyed a brand new mattress which should have lasted 10-20 years, they broke the door knobs in the house, they dirtied the walls, one young boy drew on the walls. They stole 3000 pesos that we know about. They left the water running and drained the cistern, so several apartments are without water. And, I'm sure there is more in the future to clean up the mess.

They were supposed to have a stipend of USD$200/month from a father in the USA. A loan to help them get started with a mattress was reneged on. The Colmado credit is, of course, on us, but now closed.

My favorite was the vast amount of food they cooked only to have it all spoil. Apparently, when faced with supply of food from the colmado that could have lasted weeks, giving them time to, say, look for work or a permenent place to live, it was .... I'm lost for words. I really have no rational answer to their behavior.

They say they are 'legal' with passports and visas, but when told that they will move on Monday and if they fail to move, the police will be called, it definitely got their attention.

We've joined forces with the owner of the casa to move everything from the house and return it on Monday. It could be bumpy ride, but we'll see. We'll need to pay the damages, of course.

Now with disaster looming, the father in the united states surfaces to say that he has no work and can't send any money, but is begging for help. The kicker is that they have a nice house in the Haiti and should know how to live in a house without destroying it. However, I'm well beyond the point of believing anything. I'm guessing that they might have had a shack a rusty zinc metal for a roof and siding and dirt floor that can absorb the type of abuse they can mete out. Whatever they had, I'm sure it has been long scavenged or probably sold in advance for their passage.

I can deal with a lot of things, but I just can't deal with liars. Maybe, and I mean a big fat maybe like an over filled water balloon ready to pop, I could help them if they were honest and good people from the start, but this is unacceptable and abusive. Mala gente.

PS- I don't know where to start with my girlfriend. I'm learning slowly that to live with Dominicans you have to be the Jefe, be an A-hole, and throw your weight around. I don't like being that person. I think I'd rather live alone.

Great story.....

Loved it!
 

GringoRubio

Bronze
Oct 15, 2015
1,162
116
63
It appears to me that your girlfriend is not Dominican. Haitian "cousins"?*

Ah, she's both. There is also a Dominican side to the family are are mix of rich and poor. Reading the tea leaves of Haiti's future, her mother gave her Dominican papers and so has no "claim" to Haiti citizenship or residency although owns property there.

I delved deeper and it turns out that these cousins were super rich in their youth. My girlfriend was snubbed for living in a palatial mansion of a mere 1000 square meters when these girls had something twice as large and of much better construction avoiding common ceramic tiles to go with granite and marble. Poor things just grew up without internalizing any values that would help them after the collapse of their wealth. Such is the oligarchy of Haiti.

I tend to believe by girlfriend as she speaks 4 languages and generally has an extremely good education; certainly, much better than is normal for a Dominican or Haitian. As anybody, we tend to have distortions in our childhood memories and that is understandable, so nothing is certain. Fortunately for her, she did grow up very poor until her mother remarried, so fortunately, avoided the unfortunate damage that her cousins seemed to have suffered.

It's just ironic that people can grow up in a palace, but are unable to live in a decent house for more than a few days without inflicting 10 years of damage. A pack of dogs would do less damage. There's something going on here that is beyond my comprehension.
 

GringoRubio

Bronze
Oct 15, 2015
1,162
116
63
If you cant deal with liars, sadly, you will be unable to live on this island.

Dominicans are bull****ters. There's a difference. I can deal with story tellers, but I have huge issues when people are distorting the truth for personal gain at your own expense.
 

cobraboy

Pro-Bono Demolition Hobbyist
Jul 24, 2004
40,964
936
113
Dominicans are bull****ters. There's a difference. I can deal with story tellers, but I have huge issues when people are distorting the truth for personal gain at your own expense.
So why do you put up with it?
 

bigwhiskey

New member
Aug 29, 2010
383
4
0
When your in the process or kicking her family out pack her **** and kick her to the curb.
Her actions already proved she don"t respect you and will cost you more in long run. Don't forget change lock's asap
 

jd426

Gold
Dec 12, 2009
9,512
2,781
113
Kick them all to the Curb, cosign.. you will be better off in the long run.. I have no respect for people who want to live like animals destroying property which does not belong to them.. Does not seem to be just one thing here, the Theft of the money should tell you that.
 

jpblan2001

New member
Jun 23, 2014
13
0
0
I have a similar story of Dominican tenants in New York who were slobs and invited dozens of relatives to live with them from time to time. I have experiences with Americans who stiffed out of rent and screwed up my apartments in New York. *So again what was your point of the 10 million Haitians on this planet whom you drew a esucated conclusion?
 

drescape24

Bronze
Nov 2, 2011
1,918
0
36
Where was the landlord when the other Haitians moved in? I never let children stay at my units and don't rent as a full time residence. Just to many issues.
www.casadecompai.com

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
 

josh2203

Bronze
Dec 5, 2013
1,570
525
113
Within just a few days, they have destroyed a brand new mattress which should have lasted 10-20 years, they broke the door knobs in the house, they dirtied the walls, one young boy drew on the walls. They stole 3000 pesos that we know about. They left the water running and drained the cistern, so several apartments are without water. And, I'm sure there is more in the future to clean up the mess.

The apartment is rented as furnished? Other than tourist areas, I've never seen that, nor do I know any landlord willing to do this..

Secondly, do the tenants have direct access to the cistern? Or how is it possible that the cistern was drained without nobody noticing?
 

GringoRubio

Bronze
Oct 15, 2015
1,162
116
63
So why do you put up with it?

Not sure I understand the question:

* DR in General - It's just part of the culture. I don't like it, but it's not my culture.
* Current Family - The Dominicans in the house know that I have a memory like an elephant and I call them out on the BS. I can be a real bastard when I need to. I don't like that side of me and apparently, no one else does either.
 

cobraboy

Pro-Bono Demolition Hobbyist
Jul 24, 2004
40,964
936
113
Not sure I understand the question:

* DR in General - It's just part of the culture. I don't like it, but it's not my culture.
* Current Family - The Dominicans in the house know that I have a memory like an elephant and I call them out on the BS. I can be a real bastard when I need to. I don't like that side of me and apparently, no one else does either.
You don't have to be a "bastard" to tell them they are now on their own.

Mr. Nice Guy is getting anally gang-raped. The only logical conclusion is you must enjoy that to stick around.

The DR has several cultures, not just one. You chose the lower class parasitic culture to live among. Funny thing is I doubt you'd have done that from wherever you came.

But you aren't the first and won't be the last.

One of the tiniest words in the English language is also one of the most powerful, and YOU can harness its power: "no."

You own all the options to solve your problem.
 

GringoRubio

Bronze
Oct 15, 2015
1,162
116
63
The apartment is rented as furnished? Other than tourist areas, I've never seen that, nor do I know any landlord willing to do this..

Secondly, do the tenants have direct access to the cistern? Or how is it possible that the cistern was drained without nobody noticing?

er, first, I live in a ghetto in Puerto Plata. I'm comfortable among the poor and I enjoy the constant life.

No it's our furniture. We rented a second casa for more space. It turns out that none of us really liked the place because of the street noise and Christian church across the street. (How somebody can worship while being yelled at is a mystery to me, but then I meditate for worship. )

I felt it was also a security risk because too many people watched my comings and goings. Some genius could figure out a pattern or a means to rob me by coming in off a side street with guns.

Cistern - it's single gravity feed cistern on the roof for 4 apartments. Anyone of us could drain it just by leaving a tap open for a few hours or overnight. Unless it's setup with active monitoring (doubtful) or somebody checks it ever hour, I don't think anybody would know until it's all gone. Again, this is the ghetto.
 

GringoRubio

Bronze
Oct 15, 2015
1,162
116
63
You don't have to be a "bastard" to tell them they are now on their own.

Mr. Nice Guy is getting anally gang-raped. The only logical conclusion is you must enjoy that to stick around.

The DR has several cultures, not just one. You chose the lower class parasitic culture to live among. Funny thing is I doubt you'd have done that from wherever you came.

But you aren't the first and won't be the last.

One of the tiniest words in the English language is also one of the most powerful, and YOU can harness its power: "no."

You own all the options to solve your problem.

Fair point, but it's not my current family screwing me over. It was a huge mistake for my girlfriend to let them in, but then they were family.

And, please, it's my life. I appreciate the advise, it's noted, maybe you're right, but please no more along these lines. :)

It's kick out day.... Let the festivities begin.
 

Cdn_Gringo

Gold
Apr 29, 2014
8,671
1,133
113
Actions have consequences. You were asked if the "not your family members" could move in and you said, "no." Girlfriend let them in anyway. Is the girlfriend legally a part owner of that property? Clear the 2nd house, repair the damage, change the locks and hand the bill to girlfriend. Tell her she needs to get a job and hand over 100% of her pay until the debt is paid off (you are after all looking after her I assume so she has no expenses) or she can get the money from her family. She did this all on her own and now she should have to pay for it all on her own.*

It must be pretty frosty at your casa these days. You're choice how to proceed. Your wishes were ignored and that should stand as a lesson to assume that some other clash of wills could happen again. Whether the girlfriend is prepared to do what she must to correct a situation she caused will be telling.

Good luck.
 

cobraboy

Pro-Bono Demolition Hobbyist
Jul 24, 2004
40,964
936
113
Fair point, but it's not my current family screwing me over. It was a huge mistake for my girlfriend to let them in, but then they were family.

And, please, it's my life. I appreciate the advise, it's noted, maybe you're right, but please no more along these lines. :)

It's kick out day.... Let the festivities begin.
I hope this includes a serious Come To Jesus with the GF. She is complicit in the shenanigans.

Yes, indeed, it's your life and your decisions.