I hope I don't sound obnoxious. I wrote and deleted this a few times now.
We have this 10 year old Dominican boy in the house that sort of drives me nuts. He eats everything without regard for others, atrocious table manners, leaves a mess behind everywhere, has no responsibilities, and constantly back talks and makes faces at his mother behind his back. (I call him out on that). He's smart, but only goes to school 3-4 hours a day and then only when it's sunny. I've never seen him do homework. He thinks of nobody except himself and his needs. He's sort of twitchy, nervous kids that use to pace, but I slowly did some behavior modification (psych term) to help him (me too) have more normalized behavior. Strike that, he just danced all over the house with his arms swinging wildly before I shewed him out the door.
It's not too hard to extrapolate into the future, and see a fairly irresponsible and difficult grown man emerging which incidentally is the same as what I know about his father.
I've been on the uncle and mom to give him some responsibility, but that goes nowhere. I make him clean up his messes when ever I can, and I'm a bit of the stepf'er as I turn off his electronics and make him go outside when it's nice to play with the other kids. I've debated taking him under my wing, but frankly, he bugs the crap out of me (a very odd and unique experience for me as I universally like children with apparently one exception). Therefore, I don't think it's fair to the kid or me.
Anyways.... Question: Is this normal way to raise Dominican boys? I see the neighbor girls helping out their mothers/grandmothers, etc. But the boys seem to be universally abandoned to pursue whatever they please until they run home for their next feeding crying "tengo hambre" until their needs are met as if in the throws of a panic attack. (When I'm around, I teach him how to make his own food to meet his own needs. )
It just seems that something is inherently wrong with the above. As if people are trying to purposely raise irresponsible sociopaths. Tigueres, that is.
Is this just me? Is it the house I live in? Or, is this wider Dominican thing? I definitely didn't see this in Nicaragua where boys had responsibilities to the family.
PS - I raised 3 lovely girls. I have little experience with boys.
We have this 10 year old Dominican boy in the house that sort of drives me nuts. He eats everything without regard for others, atrocious table manners, leaves a mess behind everywhere, has no responsibilities, and constantly back talks and makes faces at his mother behind his back. (I call him out on that). He's smart, but only goes to school 3-4 hours a day and then only when it's sunny. I've never seen him do homework. He thinks of nobody except himself and his needs. He's sort of twitchy, nervous kids that use to pace, but I slowly did some behavior modification (psych term) to help him (me too) have more normalized behavior. Strike that, he just danced all over the house with his arms swinging wildly before I shewed him out the door.
It's not too hard to extrapolate into the future, and see a fairly irresponsible and difficult grown man emerging which incidentally is the same as what I know about his father.
I've been on the uncle and mom to give him some responsibility, but that goes nowhere. I make him clean up his messes when ever I can, and I'm a bit of the stepf'er as I turn off his electronics and make him go outside when it's nice to play with the other kids. I've debated taking him under my wing, but frankly, he bugs the crap out of me (a very odd and unique experience for me as I universally like children with apparently one exception). Therefore, I don't think it's fair to the kid or me.
Anyways.... Question: Is this normal way to raise Dominican boys? I see the neighbor girls helping out their mothers/grandmothers, etc. But the boys seem to be universally abandoned to pursue whatever they please until they run home for their next feeding crying "tengo hambre" until their needs are met as if in the throws of a panic attack. (When I'm around, I teach him how to make his own food to meet his own needs. )
It just seems that something is inherently wrong with the above. As if people are trying to purposely raise irresponsible sociopaths. Tigueres, that is.
Is this just me? Is it the house I live in? Or, is this wider Dominican thing? I definitely didn't see this in Nicaragua where boys had responsibilities to the family.
PS - I raised 3 lovely girls. I have little experience with boys.