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Thread: Happy 150th Birthday Canada

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    Default Happy 150th Birthday Canada

    July 1st 2017 is Canada's 150th Birthday so you"ll have to forgive but I'm going to post some funny stuff and some beautiful pictures as well. If you have any jokes let's see them.

    16807675_1845068075780992_9035541946074865802_n.jpg
    Tyvek-34inch-Pattern-150-HappyBirthdayCanadaCartoon.jpg
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    Happy Birthday.

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    A French Canadian fellow was challenged on his patriotism with overtones of doubt. I am a proud Canadian he blurted.And my wife ! My wife ! She loves Canada so much she had the whole map of Canada tattooed on her bum. Coast to coast to coast!

    Trouble is every time she bends over Quebec separates!

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    You Might Be Canadian if.
    You Might Be Canadian If Your municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
    You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
    You bring a portable TV on a camping trip so that you don't miss Hockey Night.
    You can repeat the entire Molson's Canadian 'The Rant'.
    You know all the words to "If I had a million dollars" by The Barenaked Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed.
    You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
    You remember when Alanis Morrissette was "Too Hot To Hold".
    You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting glimpses of The Tragically Hip.
    You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean.
    You think Peter Mansbridge is sexy.
    You killed your best friend for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.
    You think Great Big Sea isn't Atlantic-centric enough.
    You know the names of all the guys in Sloan.
    You know more than 3 guys named Gordon.
    You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada You love your fries with poutine
    You actually watch The Gemini Awards, The Genie Awards, and The Juno Awards.
    You have twins named Wayne and Gretzky (alternately Gordie and Howe).
    You substitute beer for water when cooking.
    You know what "Canuba" is.
    You think it's pretty damn funny.
    You know Casey and Finnegan are NOT a Celtic rock band or imported beer.
    You know who Foster Hewitt is.
    You pity people who haven't tasted a "beavertail".
    You know that the Canadian Alliance is just the Reform Party with better hair.
    You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
    You and your friends get together to play "Millie Bornes"
    You cried when you heard that "Mr Dress Up" died recently.
    You brag to Americans: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & more, are Canadians.
    You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed"
    You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan"
    You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time
    You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."
    You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
    You know that Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores before Christmas.
    You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles a meat processing plant. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
    You know which leaves make for good toilet paper. The trunk of your car doubles as a freezer.
    You can play road hockey on skates.

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    Yes this rant is 16 years old but still funny

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    The original name for Canada, dreamed up by a parliamentary committee in London, was "Cold North Dominion," but that was too long, so they abbreviated it to C.N.D. The King's Royal Governor presented the new name to the inhabitants, but they didn't say a word. "Well, what do you think?" asked the Royal Governor? "C, eh?" said the first fellow, and just looked at the Governor. "N, eh?" says the second guy. "D, eh?" says a third one. Then silence. "Hey," says the Governor. "I like that. It's a helluva lot easier to pronounce when you spell it that way." And that's how Canada got its name.

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    One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub

    together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as

    they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of

    their pints.

    The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

    The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued

    drinking it as if nothing had happened.

    The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over

    the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
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