Sexual Harrassment in the DR NO MEN TO POST

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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I have had a pm from a male DR1 member.

"Here in the US, all the talk that's not about Trump is about men in every area of society losing their jobs for past sexual harassment. It's at a point now that men are doubting whether they can even approach a woman at work if they have romantic interests. I thought that perhaps this would be a good topic for your Ladies only forum to see if these recent events here are having any kind of impact on norms or even discussions in DR. Also whether what men here are being accused of is something you ladies have experienced in DR, etc. "

From my experience I have never had any issues, but that doesn't mean they don't exist, especially within the poorer families where we know that young girls can be abused by family members. But sexual harassment at work? Is it as big an issue here as it is in the US?

Matilda
 

Chirimoya

Well-known member
Dec 9, 2002
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It's at a point now that men are doubting whether they can even approach a woman at work if they have romantic interests.
There's a world of difference between a normal approach where you're free to reciprocate as you wish, positively or negatively, without any fear of the consequences, and a man who has power over your career opening the door to you in his bathrobe with his tackle on display.

I thought that perhaps this would be a good topic for your Ladies only forum to see if these recent events here are having any kind of impact on norms or even discussions in DR. Also whether what men here are being accused of is something you ladies have experienced in DR, etc. "

From my experience I have never had any issues, but that doesn't mean they don't exist, especially within the poorer families where we know that young girls can be abused by family members. But sexual harassment at work? Is it as big an issue here as it is in the US?
From what I hear it's an issue here - as it would be in any situation where there is an unequal power relationship. What's happening in the US is being noticed and may help some women decide to speak out.

However, based on my own experience. I worked in the international NGO sector in the DR and Haiti for about 10 years. There was definitely flirtation and the sort of appreciative comments from male colleagues that might be considered unprofessional or inappropriate in other countries but no actual crossing of lines, no abuse of power or sexual intimidation - all of which I or other women I know experienced at university and when I worked in the media. The only awkward situation I can recall was on a work trip when a Dominican colleague tried the "my wife doesn't understand me" line with me. I later found out he'd also tried it on with another foreign female colleague during the same trip. Both of us laughed it off and he didn't persist.

It might be worth pointing out that this is a sector where many of the managers are women.
 
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Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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It is also true that there are a large number of female managers throughout the DR workforce and far more women than men at university - no idea how it compares with the US. The head of Naturalization at the Ministry of Interior and Police is a woman, many senior lawyers and judges are women, there are female Ministers and company directors. I remember going to speak at a book club in Santo Domingo and was amazed at the senior female expats there who all held very senior positions in the UN, NGOs, the World Bank etc and the same applied to the Santo Domingo International Women's Club.

Matilda
 

Meemselle

Just A Few Words
Oct 27, 2014
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It's at a point now that men are doubting whether they can even approach a woman at work if they have romantic interests.

I am of the opinion that you don't sh*t where you eat. It is never a good idea to get into a relationship at work, if you are both still working there.
 

keepcoming

Moderator - Living & General Stuff
May 25, 2011
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In my years working I have witnessed some situations which were questionable. I have been in uncomfortable situations a couple times but I would not call them harassment. Workplace romance is almost always a bad idea. Most employers either discourage it or prohibit it (as much as they can). Being made to feel you must accept the unwanted attention in order to keep your job. Some of the cases now coming out are surprising. It seems that in some of them it was well known there were issues but nothing was being done about it. Others kept quiet about the harassment for years. Hopefully with all the attention all these cases are bringing people will understand this behavior will not be tolerated.
 

Meemselle

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Oct 27, 2014
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In my years working I have witnessed some situations which were questionable. I have been in uncomfortable situations a couple times but I would not call them harassment. Workplace romance is almost always a bad idea. Most employers either discourage it or prohibit it (as much as they can). Being made to feel you must accept the unwanted attention in order to keep your job. Some of the cases now coming out are surprising. It seems that in some of them it was well known there were issues but nothing was being done about it. Others kept quiet about the harassment for years. Hopefully with all the attention all these cases are bringing people will understand this behavior will not be tolerated.

If it is in any way uncomfortable, it is harassment. If it goes further, it is predation/assault.
 

Meemselle

Just A Few Words
Oct 27, 2014
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IMHO, there is a different relationship btwn men and women in this country.

Women, for many years, have been subjugated to the patriarchy. With a capital "P" in most of Latin/Central/South America. Women: bright women, educated women, women with dreams, are victims (and I choose the word, because it is not a word I use lightly) of a society that is completely in thrall of the madonna/whore mentality.

I am impressed with the numbers Matilda cites, as that is the only way it will change.

When I was coming up, as a strident --- and I still am --- feminist, women made 59 cents to each dollar a man made.
http://www.businessinsider.com/gender-wage-pay-gap-charts-2017-3

I remember Help Wanted Ads in the "Worcester Telegram & Evening Gazette" that specified body measurements for secretaries, before requirements for typing and shorthand.

Most of the Dominicanas I know closely are not professionals, with one or two exceptions. I know for a fact that my Dra. friend was subjected to longer hours, less pay, and who knows what else. I know a policewoman in Stgo whose life has more or less been a living hell. And she makes $5000 a month and has to do all the overtime and all the paperwork, at no renumeration.
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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Women have been fighting for equality for decades and the fight indeed goes on. One of the things I find interesting is that the foreign man (especially American) I talk to say that they want a Dominican woman as they want a woman who acts like a woman. Who cleans, washes, cooks and who does not want to be a man.
Then the foreign women on the other hand praise Dominican men as they say they treat them like a princess. They care for them, take control of situations, look after them, make them feel loved for and special.
Seems to be some disconnect here.

Matilda
 

Chirimoya

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Dec 9, 2002
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Is it a question of striving for the best of both worlds - keeping the positive elements of the traditional roles, without the downsides? Being "treated like a princess" is the last thing I would wish for!
 

keepcoming

Moderator - Living & General Stuff
May 25, 2011
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Being treated like a princess I see as maybe trying to dominate the relationship. Some Dominican men think of their wives/partners as possessions (not all mind you) and that makes for a very unhealthy relationship.
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
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Depends on the type of princess! Can also mean being treated with love and respect and taking account of her wishes, plus doing everything he can to make her happy!
 

Chirimoya

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Dec 9, 2002
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Depends on the type of princess! Can also mean being treated with love and respect and taking account of her wishes, plus doing everything he can to make her happy!

That's the definition of the way anyone should treat their partner in a relationship, regardless of gender.
 

Meemselle

Just A Few Words
Oct 27, 2014
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Despite being a Jewish woman with certain expectations of princesshood: nothing compares here. NOTHING.