Catcalls LADIES ONLY

anng3

Bronze
Jan 12, 2007
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Walking in the street, minding your own business and out of nowhere usually from a moto but can be on the sidewalk when you walk by:
"Hola Mammy"
"Hola Amor"
"Hola .......  fill in the blank  with a cringeworthy word
Can also be said without Hola and repeated if you don't respond

You:
Ignore
Engage
Respond negatively  i.e I am not your mammy
Take it as a compliment
Respond positively 

Am currently ignoring but maybe someone has a better idea?
 
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Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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I take it as a compliment! Doesn't happen often here in the campo as there are no motoconchos and most of the men who pass me when walking to the colmado are toothless 80 years old men on a donkey. Plus I think if you live in an area most know you - so it didn't happen much in Juan Dolio or when I lived in the barrio either. Or maybe it is just me lol.

Just a note ladies - if you start a new thread (which is great)please put Ladies only in the thread title as some of the men need more powerful glasses to see what forum it is in. Thanks

Matilda
 

Redhedmomma

Newbie
Dec 16, 2017
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I agree, best to take it as a complement, smile and say gracias pero no gracias,, some times I smile and just wave my index finger back and forth, as in "not for you"....they laugh and don't bother anymore. I think it is best as a foreigner to try to get along and don't try to change or ridicule their customs, if we do then DR would just be the same politically correct mess as Canada/US
 

Chirimoya

Well-known member
Dec 9, 2002
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Catcalls are sometimes but not always intended as a compliment. It is clear when someone is out to unnerve or even threaten you (never in my experience in the DR but age might also have something to do with that) and when they are being appreciative. And it's a myth that being accompanied by a man and/or a child makes you invisible - in some countries more than others.

In the DR I've heard "Hola rubia" - a bargain without even having to go to the salon (my hair is dark brown). That gets a smile. The one that made me LOL was when a tiny ancient man in the Zona Colonial gazed up at me mock-reverently and said "que dios bendiga su belleza".

When it gets crude or menacing it's not so funny (again, rarely my experience in the DR) and ignoring is the best policy. Growing older has got its advantages, not having to deal with that sort of crap any more.
 

Meemselle

Just A Few Words
Oct 27, 2014
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I find it depends on the mood I am in that particular day. Certainly when I lived in the US I was far more militant about it. I keep reminding myself I am a guest in this country, and I suppose, at my age, I should be flattered to even get looked at. I use the approach similar to OP of waving a finger. I do try to remember to wave the correct finger, not the one I want to use. I have also introduced myself to clumps of concho drivers, so now at least they all yell, Hola Mimi. There are people who probably think I have slept with them all...
 

keepcoming

Moderator - Living & General Stuff
May 25, 2011
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I smile and keep on going. Rarely if ever have I ever experienced a disrespectful remark, mostly "hola linda" or "rubia bonita". It seems to be second nature in the DR for men to do this so I see no reason to get worked up about it.
 

Jelly

Member
Nov 7, 2013
134
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I'm not gonna lie, it neither amuses nor flatters me. It frightens me. Bear in mind that I don't live there, although I have spent months at a time there for the last ten years. Because the cat callers typically, in my experience, come right up into your face or stand extra close or touch your shoulder or arm or try to grab your hand for a kiss. Also it's the element of surprise - walking down the street and having someone jump out at you to say whatever it is they're going to say. I swear, it turns me into a hermit while I'm there!!! And I"m not in a real heavy tourist area, I'm in GH!
 

anng3

Bronze
Jan 12, 2007
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I'm not gonna lie, it neither amuses nor flatters me. It frightens me. Bear in mind that I don't live there, although I have spent months at a time there for the last ten years. Because the cat callers typically, in my experience, come right up into your face or stand extra close or touch your shoulder or arm or try to grab your hand for a kiss. Also it's the element of surprise - walking down the street and having someone jump out at you to say whatever it is they're going to say. I swear, it turns me into a hermit while I'm there!!! And I"m not in a real heavy tourist area, I'm in GH!



Totally understand.  I find it creepy too.  I don't ride motos, but if I did I surely wouldn't get on one that called me mami or something similar.  Motos that are just trying to get a fare and aren't derogatory,  I say no gracias to. I used to give money, be friendly to a disabled guy in a chair, but once he tried grabbing me, I now avoid him.  It may be for some who say don't get worked up about it, you drive everywhere.  Walking everywhere is a whole different animal. 
 

sylindr

New member
Nov 29, 2007
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It used to scare me, now I just smile and keep going, they don't mean any harm or insult. Had a security guard where I worked a few years ago, when i went by on my quad he would have little gifts and call me mama sota, but if I passed with my husband he acted like he didn't know me...lol. It was cute although Miesposo didn't find it very cute lol
 

Meemselle

Just A Few Words
Oct 27, 2014
2,842
387
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I'm not gonna lie, it neither amuses nor flatters me. It frightens me. Bear in mind that I don't live there, although I have spent months at a time there for the last ten years. Because the cat callers typically, in my experience, come right up into your face or stand extra close or touch your shoulder or arm or try to grab your hand for a kiss. Also it's the element of surprise - walking down the street and having someone jump out at you to say whatever it is they're going to say. I swear, it turns me into a hermit while I'm there!!! And I"m not in a real heavy tourist area, I'm in GH!

I get it. Maybe it's more aggressive in a non-tourist area? Fewer lamb-chops (as it were) to fondle. It's NEVER OK if the woman feels un-safe, or in any way threatened. The fact that you have to stay home to feel safe makes me feel.....all sorts of things.

You know that there is a community of women not that far away from Gasping H. with whom you can do fun things with: laugh, drink, dance, write, read, talk.
 

ChelseaRose

Active member
Jul 16, 2017
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I run multiple times a week, early morning through the streets of SD. As a rubia in short shorts and a tank top, covered in sweat, I get LOTS of attention, typically from men sitting around the colmado or on the street corners. I found if I just run past them, they wait until I'm past and then catcall to my back - often in rather rude language. But I've found if I say "hola hola!" "buen dia" or some other greeting before I run past, I get a pleasant exchange instead.

I've resolved to remember that I'm a guest in this country, and that I'm not going to change the culture. So I take "hola mami" with a smile (especially after I heard two women, friends, call each other that!), and the rude boys who drive by in trucks and holler obscenities at me, I ignore. Unless I'm having a bad day, then I'll flip them the bird as they drive by! But that's rare.

That said, I do talk with my local male friends about this, and try to explain to them why women don't always like to be catcalled. Maybe if I can just get one or two to understand a different point of view, I'm doing something.
 

keepcoming

Moderator - Living & General Stuff
May 25, 2011
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Catcalls, the "hola linda".."como esta mi amor" are fine..but grabbing, touching or anything close is a big no no in my book. When I use to go to Jumbo Agora there was always the same security guard there when I went. At first he was a bit flirty in his comments but after awhile it changed. Now it is more of "dona como esta, como es la familia". I think once they see your not fazed by the comments they don't bother as much.