Beer and Wheels

bienamor

Kansas redneck an proud of it
Apr 23, 2004
5,050
458
83
Subject: BEER



>Now this finally explains it all

>

>

> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer

>and the invention of the wheel. Beer required grain and that was the

>beginning of agriculture.

>

>Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our

>early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just

>stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

>

>The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two

>were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst

>for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

>

> 1. Liberals.

> 2 Conservatives.

>

>Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night

>while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as

>the Conservative movement. Other men who were less skilled at hunting

>(called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter')

>learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's

>and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of

>the liberal movement. Some of these liberal men evolved into women.

>Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements

>include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group

>hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat

>and beer that Conservatives provided.

>

>Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most

>powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by

>the jackass for obvious reasons.

>

>Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white

>wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well

>done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another

>interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher

>testosterone levels than their men. Most college professors, social

>workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood,

>group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled

>in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it

>wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

>

>Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for

>their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters,

>rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,

>police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots,

>and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own

>companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.

>

>*Liberals produce little or nothing*.

>They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the

>production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than

>Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when

>Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West

>was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

>

>Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a

>liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post. A

>Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of

>this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and

>to just ****-off more liberals.

>

>And there you have it, let your next action reveal your true self.

>

>I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks.
 

Blueceo

Member
Nov 1, 2015
192
22
18
I absolutely loved this post and mistakenly hit dislike. This is the truth!!!! Great job bienamor... well said.... I will support you for president in the election of 2020... Long live bienamor!!!!!!!!!