Something that Every Country Should Do

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SKY

Gold
Apr 11, 2004
13,489
3,624
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Kids: Look after your parents
The Chamber of Deputies is studying a proposed bill that calls for sanctions up to one year in prison for those children who do not look after their elderly parents. The new bill has as one of its objectives a legal mechanism to mitigate the injustices committed against parents who have given birth to, fed, educated and raised their children and when they, the parents, are the ones who need help and care, it is discovered that the children have abandoned them.

On the commission reviewing the bill are deputies Luis Sánchez and also comprises the deputies Leivin Suriel, Adalgisa Pujols, Gloria Reyes, Sandra Abinader, Isabel De La Cruz, Lya Díaz de Díaz, among others.

Currently, according to article 205 of the Dominican Civil Code, the children are obliged to attend to the needs of their parents. Law 352-98 on the Protection of Elderly People says that family members are obliged to provide for the nutritional needs of the aging.
 
Luperon

Luperon

Who empowered China's crime against humanity?
Jun 28, 2004
4,510
294
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Yeah try and prove who the daddy be.

If its dna, about 33% of the people will be surprised
 
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Russell

Well-known member
Jun 17, 2017
1,056
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Looking after the elderly is more than food, clothing and shelter; much more.
One has to wonder what happens once the aging parent is living in their ''extended world'' (Alzheimer and Dementia ).
Here in Nova Scotia such seniors are admitted to a very comfortable and loving environment... with Nurses and Doctors who have the necessary skills and experience in such matters.
My Sister was admitted to one such place this past weekend.
Her condition was such that her elderly husband and children could no longer care for her.

I am first to agree that families/children are responsible for their aging and ailing parents..... throwing them in jail for violating a 'Law' will not resolve the issues of the Parent.... in fact, may even worsen the situation.

I also believe that every family situation has to be carefully understood and then move forward from there.
Recommend that ''specialist Caregivers'' are available to care for the elderly ; and, much can be done to make life better for them and the family.
I know a lot of Dominicans who, at great expense, care for their parents.
It is just the way of life here... but, there are the exceptions.
Family trees are 'Fu***d up at best ; never really know who is whom!
This will require more compassion and less law to achieve.

No question, a very touchy situation , expensive and time consuming.
All the best on this thread.
Russell
 
NALs

NALs

Economist by Profession
Jan 20, 2003
13,474
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Looking after the elder, especially when they are your own parents, is the right to do... in most cases.

Does the law makes exceptions for people who had abusive parents and due to that once they reached adulthood became estranged? Poor guys, first abused by their parents (and the parents got away with it) and then they are abused by the government for not wanting to take care of the people that abused them in the first place.

This law can become abusive in its own right in certain circumstances.

I'm perfectly aware there are ungrateful people out there and this law fits best towards fixing this problem.

However, I also think most people that abandon their elderly parents do so because of something that happen between them, and for the sake of public appearances was swept under the rug and hushed for years. Now it appears as if the sons/daughters are ungrateful, but you do have to wonder the motives the sons/daughters have for doing that and whether their decision is an actual act of ungratefulness or staying away from toxic parents that simply make their lives a living hell even in adulthood.
 
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frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,847
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Yeah, it's a very touchy situation, and it really needs to be reviewed on a case to case basis.

I took care of my father the last year he was alive in Bonao, and, other than financially straining (i had to take off work for 1-full year), it wasn't terribly hard. But, i had no training whatsoever, and although i did my best, i had Dominican relatives whom are doctors constantly stopping by. Still, i know many North Americans would be be horrified to know some of the unorthodox manners i was forced to use with cleaning my father--who was my best friend to the end.

My mother is another story...I just spent many months taking care of my mother, and came very close to putting a plastic bag over her head every evening before chickening out, and then putting the bag over my head before passing out. She suffered from schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, isolationism (Not sure that's a term), and was a 2-pack a day chain smoker; she never turned the TV down below 100% volume (made the house move on its foundation as result) lost control of her bowel movements the last years she was alive (carpets constantly needed cleaned), could not wear clothes because of a constant need to go to the bathroom, and many other things i'm not able to talk about on a public forum without being turned into the FBI.

I tried getting help from the Government, she refused to let them into her house; i tried getting help from medicaid/Medicare in-home nursing assistance (she tried to stab them when they knocked on her door); i tried getting her to a doctor, several times, she refused to leave the house on any condition!! I tried to get her to not smoke 2-packs of cigarettes a day, she tried to burn the house down by lighting her curtains on fire. I tried to get her a hearing-aid, she threatened to kill anyone who touched the volume on her TV.

...and the list of her unparalleled craziness went on and on and on. There was no one to help me. She refused to let anyone see her. I spent so much fu&^^king money flying back and forth and buying things to help her....it was insane. I wrote so many chapters on this experience i now have a book (I shared all the chapters with friends on FB), and then i was shocked to discover that other people had parents in similar states of craziness.

So, to answer the question...some people like my father, although financially straining, was easy to take care of. My mother...i have yet to meet one person on this planet that could withstand 5-minutes around a chain-smoking, paranoid schizophrenic, volume busting, half-zombie crazy person.

Every one who met my mother...tried to put a plastic bag over her head.

You would never forgot my mother unless you used very heavy drugs while you were with her.

PS> She would not hesitate biting down on anyone who tried to get her to do something she did not want to do. When she showed her teeth--and you had any self-preservation instincts left--you ran for your life.
 
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hard times doug

Member
Apr 10, 2014
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Are these moron lawmakers in touch with reality? Where are the laws and consequences for the fathers who abandon their children and start other families and the abandon them also. The system is in disrepair
 
Cdn_Gringo

Cdn_Gringo

Gold
Apr 29, 2014
8,671
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Are parents held responsible for their under 18 children who cause public damage, mischief or commit serious crimes?
 
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dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
it is an absolutely idiotic legislation. once again DR government proves it is useless and tries the blame game instead of fixing own shortcomings. it's not the responsibility of the children to take care of the elderly, it's the responsibility of the government. everyone who works should be contributing towards securing their financial future, this is what pension plans, taxes, social security and health insurance are for.

but wait, you will say, this is DR, there ain't no backup for the workers. true enough. and whose fault is that, pray? ... exactly. pension plan is still in fetal stages, the poorest do not pay taxes at all and everyone else bend their asses over their heads in order to avoid paying them. social security is a joke and there are not enough state run shelters for the sick and elderly. but burdening individuals with the cost of the care for the older generation is just creating a vicious circle of poverty and helplessness.

so maybe old maria worked illegally or did not work at all. maybe she was sick, maybe she was disabled, maybe she was caring for her own parents. then carmen, her daughter has to leave her job under a threat of prison, in order to take care of the mother. and what now? carmen does not contribute to the system either and one of her kids will face the same fate. on a large scale this is a huge loss of productivity to country's economy. and, if you want to look at a human factor, it contributes to feeling of being lost and helpless, it leads to depression because of dragging another generation into the same hole of desperation.

not to mention the fact that this legislation again spits in the face of the poorest. the rich or even the middle class can pay for nurses, maids and 24/7 care for their parents. they are doing it already. but the working class? not so much. i know that some folks praise "family love" after seeing multi-generation households but it is not helping dominican people break the cycle of poverty.
 
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Russell

Well-known member
Jun 17, 2017
1,056
337
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frank12 said:
Yeah, it's a very touchy situation, and it really needs to be reviewed on a case to case basis.

I took care of my father the last year he was alive in Bonao, and, other than financially straining (i had to take off work for 1-full year), it wasn't terribly hard. But, i had no training whatsoever, and although i did my best, i had Dominican relatives whom are doctors constantly stopping by. Still, i know many North Americans would be be horrified to know some of the unorthodox manners i was forced to use with cleaning my father--who was my best friend to the end.

My mother is another story...I just spent many months taking care of my mother, and came very close to putting a plastic bag over her head every evening before chickening out, and then putting the bag over my head before passing out. She suffered from schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, isolationism (Not sure that's a term), and was a 2-pack a day chain smoker; she never turned the TV down below 100% volume (made the house move on its foundation as result) lost control of her bowel movements the last years she was alive (carpets constantly needed cleaned), could not wear clothes because of a constant need to go to the bathroom, and many other things i'm not able to talk about on a public forum without being turned into the FBI.

I tried getting help from the Government, she refused to let them into her house; i tried getting help from medicaid/Medicare in-home nursing assistance (she tried to stab them when they knocked on her door); i tried getting her to a doctor, several times, she refused to leave the house on any condition!! I tried to get her to not smoke 2-packs of cigarettes a day, she tried to burn the house down by lighting her curtains on fire. I tried to get her a hearing-aid, she threatened to kill anyone who touched the volume on her TV.

...and the list of her unparalleled craziness went on and on and on. There was no one to help me. She refused to let anyone see her. I spent so much fu&^^king money flying back and forth and buying things to help her....it was insane. I wrote so many chapters on this experience i now have a book (I shared all the chapters with friends on FB), and then i was shocked to discover that other people had parents in similar states of craziness.

So, to answer the question...some people like my father, although financially straining, was easy to take care of. My mother...i have yet to meet one person on this planet that could withstand 5-minutes around a chain-smoking, paranoid schizophrenic, volume busting, half-zombie crazy person.

Every one who met my mother...tried to put a plastic bag over her head.

You would never forgot my mother unless you used very heavy drugs while you were with her.

PS> She would not hesitate biting down on anyone who tried to get her to do something she did not want to do. When she showed her teeth--and you had any self-preservation instincts left--you ran for your life.
Click to expand...

Wow!Frank 12 , that is unbelievable and congratulations for holding out.
Like it was said, every family was a different situation.

I am not sure I could have held out as long as you did.
Regardless of how she treated you and acted in opposition to your compassion and instincts ;you obviously loved your parents.
MY Mom left my care when she turned 97 ... after my Wife died from Cancer, mother felt I was too old to be living with my Mother!!
So she set up Housekeeping in another town where she lived until the age of 101. She died with a valid drivers license.
Father died 53 years ago of heart attack.

My WIfe's Grandfather is 103 and lives alone in El Campo RD. He does not want to leave his home.
Her Father enjoys the comforts of our cottage next to the big house;and, care we provide for his daily living.

Again , the best kudos to you.
You are a rare one.

I would be delighted to buy you a beer sometime.
Russell
 
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