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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by badpiece33 View Post
    Retired or not , always good to have a General as a friend. Thank God I have 2
    I'll take all 3 of you out for dinner and drinks. Where you want to go?

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matilda View Post
    I have some great Dominican friends, in fact all my face to face friends are Dominican and my online friends mostly expats who I see occasionally. Some of my Dominican friends are campesinos, honest as the day they were born and always there for me. Some are professionals, lawyers, doctors and the like. You need to speak Spanish to make real Dominican friends I think and once you have a Dominican friend you have a friend for life.

    A friend will ask you how you are
    A Dominican friend will tell you, you look good, will hug you and give you a kiss.

    A friend sends you flowers and a card when you are in hospital
    A Dominican friend will sleep on a chair at your side

    A friend will ask to borrow something and will give it back 2 days later
    A Dominican friend will ask to borrow something and after a week will forget it was yours

    A friend will offer you the sofa to sleep on
    A Dominican friend will give you his bed, he will sleep on the floor and not let you sleep but spend the whole night talking to you

    A friend will know a few things about you
    A Dominican friend will be able to write a book with all the things he knows about you

    A friend will give you a paracetomal when you are hungover
    A Dominican friend will make you chicken soup, and give you his grandmother's cures, and will make sure you drink the soup, even hand feeding you.

    A friend will knock on your door, waiting for you to open it
    A Dominican friend will open the door, walk in and then say I am here

    A friend will ask you to make them coffee
    A Dominican friend will go into the kitchen, make the coffee and go next door to ask a neighbour for sugar if you have none

    Matilda
    Wow that is the greatest post i have ever seen on this site you nailed everything.... i was sick one time in the hospital my nanny would not leave my room...... she fluffed my pillow every chance she had .....

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  5. #23
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    I have many friends that are Venezuelans I find them to be honest and not cheap real good people.. and are very educated

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  7. #24
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    I have experienced the Hospital sleepover thing....
    true story that

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  9. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdn_Gringo View Post
    A lot will have to do with your lifestyle and your personality. Me, I don't have much in common with your average Dominican, professional or otherwise. I tried explaining to the taxi driver why what he routinely did would eventually get him or someone else killed and he didn't get it. Generally, my interactions get reduced to their daily lives and of course their problems, some of which they believe I am uniquely in a position to rectify.

    I've tried hiring Dominican trades people and they were usually a disappointment. Some more than others. Now, my trades people are foreigners who are semi retired. I generally don't socialize with the locals apart from casual encounters and a very rare game of Dominoes. I do not enjoy hanging out at the colamdo drinking beer nor do I enjoy sitting on a stoop watching the world go by. My Spanish is pretty good but I still translate things in my head which slows me down. I just can't keep up with most social conversations where I first have to figure out what the topic is, then what is being said.

    I'm not like everybody and all Dominicans are not the same. I've had some acquaintances ask for things and others who have not. I've had foreigners ask for things and others not.

    To be honest, I'm not here to look for friends. I have all the friends I need and most are at arms length, just the way I prefer it. I don't need people contact every day and can go weeks before I seek out someone to talk to or have a drink with. I do not invite locals to my house and only a select few foreigners who are likely to reciprocate. Those that don't, aren't asked back. Again I have very little in common with the average Dominican, I cannot tolerate for even a brief time someone who can't put their phone away and social interactions with an average Dominican at least for me, are awkward, usually quite boring and difficult to get excited about.

    Your experiences may be completely different. If you are an outgoing person and choose to pursue friendships with anyone here, more power to you. As for your concern, sure, you are going to encounter those who ask for things. You just have to be prepared and have a plan. In these cases, I usually politely say no. I find that when you help someone in need (especially with money), you are the first person they seek out the next time they need something (usually money).

    I'm not a complete antisocial miser. I have just learned that I need to be discriminating or I can get overwhelmed and feel guilty a lot of the time. I am my own best friend and I really enjoy my own company. Other relationships I see as being akin to work, something I swore to avoid at all costs when I moved here. I prefer simple and predictable both of which relationships tend to complicate eventually.

    Good luck.
    Classic !!

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  11. #26
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    Socio-economic classes rarely intermingle in the U.S except for pleasantries. Here I see gringos hanging out with locals drinking rum under a tree sitting on plastic chairs. I guess they falsely believe they are absorbing Dominican Culture. I good example is the U.S military. Fraternization is seriously frowned upon. Its definitely a "class" environment.

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  13. #27
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    If you have Dominican wife, husband or families then that is quite different .... there will be a lot more contact via them.

    I guess living in SD or Santiago is also very different than living in a small tourist town., so all have to be considered.

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  15. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matilda View Post
    I have some great Dominican friends, in fact all my face to face friends are Dominican and my online friends mostly expats who I see occasionally. Some of my Dominican friends are campesinos, honest as the day they were born and always there for me. Some are professionals, lawyers, doctors and the like. You need to speak Spanish to make real Dominican friends I think and once you have a Dominican friend you have a friend for life.

    A friend will ask you how you are
    A Dominican friend will tell you, you look good, will hug you and give you a kiss.

    A friend sends you flowers and a card when you are in hospital
    A Dominican friend will sleep on a chair at your side

    A friend will ask to borrow something and will give it back 2 days later
    A Dominican friend will ask to borrow something and after a week will forget it was yours

    A friend will offer you the sofa to sleep on
    A Dominican friend will give you his bed, he will sleep on the floor and not let you sleep but spend the whole night talking to you

    A friend will know a few things about you
    A Dominican friend will be able to write a book with all the things he knows about you

    A friend will give you a paracetomal when you are hungover
    A Dominican friend will make you chicken soup, and give you his grandmother's cures, and will make sure you drink the soup, even hand feeding you.

    A friend will knock on your door, waiting for you to open it
    A Dominican friend will open the door, walk in and then say I am here

    A friend will ask you to make them coffee
    A Dominican friend will go into the kitchen, make the coffee and go next door to ask a neighbour for sugar if you have none

    Matilda
    This was my experience during my 14 years there.

    I would also add that I was fortunate to be able to make friends across class lines

    I found that friends in the same educational class might ask for a loan - and be very prompt in paying it back by the date that they said that they would so that they could establish the practice of coming back again.

    If I had had a meeting at my place (we were all doing non- profit work) the women would all bring something- arepas or a tin of Vienna sausages

    That if you were lucky enough to be invited to for a luncheon, there would be the BEST tablecloth and three courses presented..

    But if they came to my place, they were delighted with a bowl of soup and ACTED as if I had served three courses with the best tablecloth.

    A few times the folks that worked for me in different capacities (secretary/translator/ assistant/maid/handyman) would come to me with problems - not asking directly for money but explaining the issue.- daughter was raped and needed counseling, started a business and got into credit card debt, ran out of money and needed food, wanted to return to Haiti and needed $200 more for the transport - in each and every case, they were exceedingly grateful when I stepped up and gave help and never again asked for anything.

    My cleaning lady once asked for an advance on her salary - and I honestly simply did not have it. She said - well, if you don't have it, you don't. But then I went to the kitchen and pulled out rice and beans and got out a chicken from the freezer and gave them to her. She hugged the bag.

    Later on she would say to anyone who would listen - "Ella vale was que dinero"
    Which is how I absolutely thought of all of all of them.

    I could not buy nor would never imagine to receive in the USA the care and devoted attention that I got from the Dominicans that I knew when I was ill - visits to the hospital, sleeping over at my house, rubbing my feet with menthol, making me soup, cleaning the house- just STAYING over.

    I would add to Matilda's list that a Dominican friend will waltz into your house- go into your kitchen and make coffee and do any dishes that might be in the sink while you are there.

    She will say she is hungry if she is - and proceed to help herself to what is in the fridge - setting out a small feast for you both from what you thought was an empty larder.

    She will go through your closets with you, helping you decide what looks good on you, what ought to go to the tailors, what ought to be given away. And tell you HONESTLY.

    She will remember when it is the birthday of you sisters, nephews, etc.. and remind you to get a card or a gift.

    She will make sure that you are NOT alone at any holiday that is important. Most particularly YOUR birthday (even if you would rather not notice it)

    She will invite you to the hospital to visit her newborn niece with the rest of the family (you must go), and call you to the hospital when her mother is dying (also a command performance), invite you to her wedding (optional).

    I use the feminine pronoun because I was blessed with more women friends but I also had three very fine men friends even though it was explained to me that the belief was that men can not be friends with women. Obviously not true in practice.

    I was blessed to have known them. They will always have a piece of my heart.

  16. Likes AlterEgo, dulce, Matilda, Asan, mofongoloco and 2 others liked this post
  17. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by william webster View Post
    I have experienced the Hospital sleepover thing....
    true story that
    when i had my prostate removed in Centro Medico Bournigal, my friend from Mao closed her little colmado to come to POP and stay with me until i was up and about, maybe 4 days. oh..i forgot....i had it removed on Christmas Eve. so, she was away from her family for Christmas.

    money cannot pay for that..

  18. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uzin View Post
    If you have Dominican wife, husband or families then that is quite different .... there will be a lot more contact via them.

    I guess living in SD or Santiago is also very different than living in a small tourist town., so all have to be considered.
    That’s true. My family in the DR, they all love me, I dont know why, my BIL, consul, once general manager of Bahia Principe RSJ, have taken to all kind of places I would never get on my own, even Frank Reyes played on our wedding for free. Then we have those crazy celebrations of la virgen where I offered to cook for 40 people. Still sweating.

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