Page 118 of 125 FirstFirst ... 1868108116117118119120 ... LastLast
Results 1,171 to 1,180 of 1241
  1. #1171
    Regular
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    17
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    The first I knew of poor,poor Lindsay's passing was yesterday when I read the article in the Daily Mail here in the UK. To say I was shocked and saddened is an understatement. I only met Lindsay once or twice but exchanged many pms and posts over the years on dr1. It has taken 24 hrs for it to fully sink in, especially because of the awful circumstances. RIP lovely lady. I was great friends with the late Ginnie Bedggood, another kind, generous, sweet lady always there to help and advise.

    I have been reading the thread from start to finish and have also read Lindsay's blog. I haven't read her books but have them on order and will catch up very soon. I haven't visited the site for some years but see some of the old, familiar names are still here. The good old days of Rocky, Tambo and cobraboy were fun.

    The reason I am writing this today is that I would like to tell my story - so many of the things I have read struck a chord and also sent a shiver down my spine. We could and should learn from events. Here is why.....

    I first visited the RD 25 yrs ago for a holiday and discovered somewhere that was so different to anywhere I had been before. I spoke Spanish which was a real icebreaker and I was quickly embraced by the Dominican people I met. Something about the place just made it seem like home.
    In 2000, after a few years of holidays and visits, I went to live there, on the North Coast. It seemed like a chance to do something different, another chapter in my life.
    I didn't move there for a man, to make it clear. Friends and family were dubious but I assured them I would be OK. My father ( rightly) advised me to leave most of my money in the UK and he would transfer it out as needed. One of the major Dominican banks collapsed shortly after so I could see the sense. I rented an apartment, bought a horse, mixed with the local community and enjoyed life.

    A year later, I am living with my Dominican partner. A lovely guy ( I thought) who I had known for some time. Kind, thoughtful, helpful, nice family. Things were great for a while. I lost count of the times we met extranjeras, with their Dominican bfs, who couldn't speak a word of Spanish but had given small fortunes to them, totally unaware of the Dominican woman he had hidden away somewhere. I thought mine was different ... doh!

    I had a new passola that we both used. A couple of months after I had bought it we were disturbed by two men who burst into the apartment. One of them had a gun in his hand and was demanding the keys and papers for the passola. I had the gun in my face. My partner was sitting on the sofa, doing and saying nothing. This sounds crazy now but I was just so angry that I told him the papers were "in my office" elsewhere. They weren't but I wasn't going to let this piece of sh*t steal from me.
    My landlord lived in an apartment upstairs - I shouted his name over and over and the would be robbers just took off,empty handed. My partner was strangely quiet about the whole thing. Some years later I found out that he was a part of the whole plot.

    Without going into details, over the next year his behaviour changed and I began to question staying or leaving. This is the important part and I would like you all to read this....

    I received little or no help from either the locals or the ex-pats in getting him out. Only one or two of the Dominican guys stood up to him over his behaviour towards me. The ex-pats were too busy bitching or gossiping to actually help. I felt very alone and found it was easier to let him come back than have him living elsewhere and returning in the middle of the night to smash the place up to get in. In fact, when I called the Police one night to him they took him away, asked me to go to the station the next morning to make a statement where I was promptly sent to prison for 3 days for fighting !! I had to pay my way out of that.

    I decided to sell up and return to the UK after 4 years before anything else happened. I gave him virtually nothing, got a ticket out of there and have been back in the UK for 15 years.

    6 months after I left he murdered an old man ( for his lottery winnings) and was sent to Fortaleza for 12 years. That could have been me. I had a very lucky escape.

    So, please, please ... to those of you there who are ever asked for help or see something going on that doesn't seem right, try and help ... at least offer. Don't judge - I know some of you do and yet I have seen those same people with their much younger novias out and about. There but for the grace of God, remember. Don't withhold infomation - people will not learn otherwise.

    Rest in Heaven Lindsay

  2. #1172
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    34,568
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by belkis View Post
    The first I knew of poor,poor Lindsay's passing was yesterday when I read the article in the Daily Mail here in the UK. To say I was shocked and saddened is an understatement. I only met Lindsay once or twice but exchanged many pms and posts over the years on dr1. It has taken 24 hrs for it to fully sink in, especially because of the awful circumstances. RIP lovely lady. I was great friends with the late Ginnie Bedggood, another kind, generous, sweet lady always there to help and advise.

    I have been reading the thread from start to finish and have also read Lindsay's blog. I haven't read her books but have them on order and will catch up very soon. I haven't visited the site for some years but see some of the old, familiar names are still here. The good old days of Rocky, Tambo and cobraboy were fun.

    The reason I am writing this today is that I would like to tell my story - so many of the things I have read struck a chord and also sent a shiver down my spine. We could and should learn from events. Here is why.....

    I first visited the RD 25 yrs ago for a holiday and discovered somewhere that was so different to anywhere I had been before. I spoke Spanish which was a real icebreaker and I was quickly embraced by the Dominican people I met. Something about the place just made it seem like home.
    In 2000, after a few years of holidays and visits, I went to live there, on the North Coast. It seemed like a chance to do something different, another chapter in my life.
    I didn't move there for a man, to make it clear. Friends and family were dubious but I assured them I would be OK. My father ( rightly) advised me to leave most of my money in the UK and he would transfer it out as needed. One of the major Dominican banks collapsed shortly after so I could see the sense. I rented an apartment, bought a horse, mixed with the local community and enjoyed life.

    A year later, I am living with my Dominican partner. A lovely guy ( I thought) who I had known for some time. Kind, thoughtful, helpful, nice family. Things were great for a while. I lost count of the times we met extranjeras, with their Dominican bfs, who couldn't speak a word of Spanish but had given small fortunes to them, totally unaware of the Dominican woman he had hidden away somewhere. I thought mine was different ... doh!

    I had a new passola that we both used. A couple of months after I had bought it we were disturbed by two men who burst into the apartment. One of them had a gun in his hand and was demanding the keys and papers for the passola. I had the gun in my face. My partner was sitting on the sofa, doing and saying nothing. This sounds crazy now but I was just so angry that I told him the papers were "in my office" elsewhere. They weren't but I wasn't going to let this piece of sh*t steal from me.
    My landlord lived in an apartment upstairs - I shouted his name over and over and the would be robbers just took off,empty handed. My partner was strangely quiet about the whole thing. Some years later I found out that he was a part of the whole plot.

    Without going into details, over the next year his behaviour changed and I began to question staying or leaving. This is the important part and I would like you all to read this....

    I received little or no help from either the locals or the ex-pats in getting him out. Only one or two of the Dominican guys stood up to him over his behaviour towards me. The ex-pats were too busy bitching or gossiping to actually help. I felt very alone and found it was easier to let him come back than have him living elsewhere and returning in the middle of the night to smash the place up to get in. In fact, when I called the Police one night to him they took him away, asked me to go to the station the next morning to make a statement where I was promptly sent to prison for 3 days for fighting !! I had to pay my way out of that.

    I decided to sell up and return to the UK after 4 years before anything else happened. I gave him virtually nothing, got a ticket out of there and have been back in the UK for 15 years.

    6 months after I left he murdered an old man ( for his lottery winnings) and was sent to Fortaleza for 12 years. That could have been me. I had a very lucky escape.

    So, please, please ... to those of you there who are ever asked for help or see something going on that doesn't seem right, try and help ... at least offer. Don't judge - I know some of you do and yet I have seen those same people with their much younger novias out and about. There but for the grace of God, remember. Don't withhold infomation - people will not learn otherwise.

    Rest in Heaven Lindsay
    the problem is that if you try to offer help, you are going to be met with..

    ''mind your own business''.

    for people who are street wise, none of this is rocket science. the minute i read the first book, i knew that Danilo had set up the shooting..

  3. #1173
    Platinum
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    30,680
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by the gorgon View Post
    the problem is that if you try to offer help, you are going to be met with..

    ''mind your own business''.

    for people who are street wise, none of this is rocket science. the minute i read the first book, i knew that Danilo had set up the shooting..
    That is true all too often. But does that mean one should not try? I tried to help a close friend discover the truth about a woman he loved. He would hear nothing of it. I could have no impact on him about this. Meanwhile, a guy I worked with continued to have a relationship with the woman, as my friend was planning to marry her. She later dumped my friend while laughing in his face. She even smelled bad. That old "love is blind" story along with "ooh that smell" . Love is blind, or at least deliberately ignoring reality, seems to have applied in this situation as well.

  4. Likes belkis, Michele Jimenez D, JDJones liked this post
  5. #1174
    Gold
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    6,994
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Close friends and family stand little chance of being able to bring about a realization that all is not well in a relationship or most other lifestyle situations. As with alcohol/drug addiction it usually takes hitting "rock bottom" for the individual to begin admitting that their situation is dire.

    This timing can make it too late to extricate oneself. We have all been there with our kids and our friends. Even when they ask for advice, 99 times out of 100 they completely dismiss our input. I suppose for peace of mind it is better to have tried and failed than to have said nothing at all. But really, for the most part, we are just wasting our breath when we try to take on willful denial.

  6. Dislikes Michele Jimenez D disliked this post
  7. #1175
    Regular
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    17
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Hi Guys, just to add that I actually was quite aware that I needed out of it - I wanted help in real terms rather than be told that he was a bad 'un. I felt trapped in the situation and I suspect that there are others who live like that, putting up with the c**p until it is too late or an escape route becomes available.
    I too, on reading Lindsay's blog, realised that she was viewing the life with a rose tinted pair of glasses in place. Never met him but bells rang quickly.

  8. Likes windeguy, chico bill, JDJones, jd426 liked this post
  9. #1176
    Gold
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,475
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cdn_Gringo View Post
    Close friends and family stand little chance of being able to bring about a realization that all is not well in a relationship or most other lifestyle situations. As with alcohol/drug addiction it usually takes hitting "rock bottom" for the individual to begin admitting that their situation is dire.

    This timing can make it too late to extricate oneself. We have all been there with our kids and our friends. Even when they ask for advice, 99 times out of 100 they completely dismiss our input. I suppose for peace of mind it is better to have tried and failed than to have said nothing at all. But really, for the most part, we are just wasting our breath when we try to take on willful denial.
    She had to know, because as was reported in prior posts she had messaged some of her friends she feared for her well being. But it is hard to break away and where does a 64 year-old woman then go for a 'relationship', good or bad ? Straight to another Sanky most likely.
    Yes you probably won't convince a friend her mate is an evil leech, more likely you will just loose that friend, should you try.

  10. Likes JDJones liked this post
  11. #1177
    Silver
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    3,037
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KyleMackey View Post
    I was wondering why now? Did Danilo think he would inherit her money/house if the body was never found.
    How does inheritance work in the DR when next of kin is charged with murder. What happens now with her money
    in the bank and the house/real estate?
    Very sad, and one wouldnt think this is the intelligence level of a person receiving a law degree, he expected to inherit because they may not find the body?? They buried it beside the property in cadbury wrappers, dog food bags etc. belonging to the home. The only think he should inherit is the electric chair with a slow weak current.

  12. Likes Michele Jimenez D, JDJones liked this post
  13. #1178
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    34,568
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by belkis View Post
    Hi Guys, just to add that I actually was quite aware that I needed out of it - I wanted help in real terms rather than be told that he was a bad 'un. I felt trapped in the situation and I suspect that there are others who live like that, putting up with the c**p until it is too late or an escape route becomes available.
    I too, on reading Lindsay's blog, realised that she was viewing the life with a rose tinted pair of glasses in place. Never met him but bells rang quickly.
    it would appear that she knew she was in trouble, but did not know how to get out.

    i am firmly of the belief that she was waiting to get the money, tell Danilo she was going to go visit family in the UK, and never come back. even if she only got a half, and given him a half, at least she could start over in England.

  14. Likes chico bill, belkis liked this post
  15. #1179
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    34,568
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat13 View Post
    Very sad, and one wouldnt think this is the intelligence level of a person receiving a law degree, he expected to inherit because they may not find the body?? They buried it beside the property in cadbury wrappers, dog food bags etc. belonging to the home. The only think he should inherit is the electric chair with a slow weak current.
    there are law degrees and then there are law degrees. i don't think he studied for his at Yale.

  16. #1180
    Gold
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    6,994
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chico bill View Post
    She had to know...
    I would be inclined to agree. Everything I think I know about her points to the fact that she was intelligence, self aware and had the ability to look after herself.

    Quote Originally Posted by chico bill View Post
    But it is hard to break away and where does a 64 year-old woman then go for a 'relationship', good or bad ?
    That's the personal hurdle and the excuse that needs to be overcome. Lindsay had money, in fact she had the majority of the money in that relationship. The time to take to the life boat and get far away from the sinking ship was back in February, not many months later. What people headed for a crash often fail to appreciate until it is too late is that they do not control the timing of the event(s) all people can do is choose to react without further delay.

    Lindsay had friends here who would have offered her a clandestine couch until she she found a new place to live or caught a flight home. She had cash to support herself and options that not everyone in a similar situation has.

    Quote Originally Posted by chico bill View Post
    Straight to another Sanky most likely
    I would hope that for someone fleeing a bad situation because they fear for their continued safety, the next relationship would be the last thing they were worrying about .
    Last edited by Cdn_Gringo; 12-22-2019 at 08:59 AM.

  17. Likes Michele Jimenez D, JDJones liked this post

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •