Today is Thursday--Time for a Canadian Groaner!
THE BACON TREE STORY
As told by Charlie Canuck
A long time ago when Canada was being settled, a group of people
headed west in a wagon train from the east coast. The wagon train
leader was very inexperienced and soon the people realized they were
hopelessly lost. After wandering for weeks and weeks, their food
supplies were gone and winter was fast approaching.
As the group came over a hill they saw the first person they had seen
for days; a strange old man sitting beneath a tree. The leader of
the wagon train approached the man. "Can you help us? We're heading
west but we're lost and all our food is gone. We're starving."
The old man replied, "You know, I can see the future.... Wait.. I'm
getting a vision now." He held one hand to his brow and closed his
eyes in concentration. "It's coming. Oh yes, I see, I see."
"I know what you must do. Go up this hill and down the other side.
Go through the forest and across the stream. Then go up the next
hill and down to the valley below. There you will find a bacon
tree."
"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon tree leader.
"A bacon tree. Trust me. I can see the future."
The wagon train leader shrugged and headed off. The group followed
the strange old man's directions exactly. They went up the hill,
down the other side, through the forest, across the stream, up the
next hill and down to the valley below. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Not
a thing and especially not a bacon tree.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, came Indians from all sides. It was
a massacre. All but one man was killed and even he was seriously
wounded. He crawled up the hill, crawled across the stream, crawled
through the forest, crawled up the hill and crawled down into the
valley. There, under the tree was that same strange old man, still
there where they had left him.
The injured man crawled up to him and started shouting... "What were
you thinking? You sent us all to our deaths! We followed your
instructions to the letter! We went up the hill, down the other
side, through the forest, across the stream, up the next hill and
down the valley below. NO BACON TREE! Just Indians, thousands of
them! Everyone else is DEAD!"
The man held up his hand and said "Wait for it... I'm getting a
vision.... Uhuh. Ooooh. Oh, I get it....."
"Oh my, I made a mistake... T'was not a bacon tree... T'was a
hambush."
Have a nice day!
HB
THE BACON TREE STORY
As told by Charlie Canuck
A long time ago when Canada was being settled, a group of people
headed west in a wagon train from the east coast. The wagon train
leader was very inexperienced and soon the people realized they were
hopelessly lost. After wandering for weeks and weeks, their food
supplies were gone and winter was fast approaching.
As the group came over a hill they saw the first person they had seen
for days; a strange old man sitting beneath a tree. The leader of
the wagon train approached the man. "Can you help us? We're heading
west but we're lost and all our food is gone. We're starving."
The old man replied, "You know, I can see the future.... Wait.. I'm
getting a vision now." He held one hand to his brow and closed his
eyes in concentration. "It's coming. Oh yes, I see, I see."
"I know what you must do. Go up this hill and down the other side.
Go through the forest and across the stream. Then go up the next
hill and down to the valley below. There you will find a bacon
tree."
"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon tree leader.
"A bacon tree. Trust me. I can see the future."
The wagon train leader shrugged and headed off. The group followed
the strange old man's directions exactly. They went up the hill,
down the other side, through the forest, across the stream, up the
next hill and down to the valley below. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Not
a thing and especially not a bacon tree.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, came Indians from all sides. It was
a massacre. All but one man was killed and even he was seriously
wounded. He crawled up the hill, crawled across the stream, crawled
through the forest, crawled up the hill and crawled down into the
valley. There, under the tree was that same strange old man, still
there where they had left him.
The injured man crawled up to him and started shouting... "What were
you thinking? You sent us all to our deaths! We followed your
instructions to the letter! We went up the hill, down the other
side, through the forest, across the stream, up the next hill and
down the valley below. NO BACON TREE! Just Indians, thousands of
them! Everyone else is DEAD!"
The man held up his hand and said "Wait for it... I'm getting a
vision.... Uhuh. Ooooh. Oh, I get it....."
"Oh my, I made a mistake... T'was not a bacon tree... T'was a
hambush."
Have a nice day!
HB
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