YOU DON'T NEED A MAN!
If you want someone who'll make a total fool of himself because he's
so
glad to see you, get a dog.
If you want someone who's always ready to go out any time you ask,
get a
dog.
If you want someone who'll be content JUST to snuggle up and keep you
warm
in bed, get a dog. (You can always kick him out of the bed and make
him
sleep in the laundry room if he snores. Try THAT with a man!)
If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him, and
never
says "Why can't you make it like Mom did?" get a dog.
If you want someone who can scare away burglars without brandishing a
lethal weapon, endangering you (and all the neighbors), get a dog.
If you want someone who will do anything to please YOU, get a dog.
If you want someone to bring in your newspaper without tearing
through it
first for the sports page, get a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes ANYTHING you do, doesn't
care how
bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, and
loves you unconditionally, get a dog.
If you want someone who NEVER touches the remote, couldn't care less
about
Monday Night Football, and watches teary movies with you as long as
you
want, get a dog.
ON THE OTHER HAND...
If you want someone who totally ignores you when you walk into a
room, get
a cat.
If you want someone who acts as though you are there only to see that
HE's
happy, get a cat.
If you want someone who'll prowl around all night and come home only
to
eat and sleep all day, get a cat.
If you want someone who leaves hair all over the place, get a cat.
If you want someone who never comes when you call him, get a cat.
If you want someone who'll walk all over you, get a cat.
If you want someone who'll make a total fool of himself because he's
so
glad to see you, get a dog.
If you want someone who's always ready to go out any time you ask,
get a
dog.
If you want someone who'll be content JUST to snuggle up and keep you
warm
in bed, get a dog. (You can always kick him out of the bed and make
him
sleep in the laundry room if he snores. Try THAT with a man!)
If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him, and
never
says "Why can't you make it like Mom did?" get a dog.
If you want someone who can scare away burglars without brandishing a
lethal weapon, endangering you (and all the neighbors), get a dog.
If you want someone who will do anything to please YOU, get a dog.
If you want someone to bring in your newspaper without tearing
through it
first for the sports page, get a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes ANYTHING you do, doesn't
care how
bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, and
loves you unconditionally, get a dog.
If you want someone who NEVER touches the remote, couldn't care less
about
Monday Night Football, and watches teary movies with you as long as
you
want, get a dog.
ON THE OTHER HAND...
If you want someone who totally ignores you when you walk into a
room, get
a cat.
If you want someone who acts as though you are there only to see that
HE's
happy, get a cat.
If you want someone who'll prowl around all night and come home only
to
eat and sleep all day, get a cat.
If you want someone who leaves hair all over the place, get a cat.
If you want someone who never comes when you call him, get a cat.
If you want someone who'll walk all over you, get a cat.
. 
