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Thread: A Friday funny for the Queen and the other

  1. #1
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    Default A Friday funny for the Queen and the other

    fine people that enjoy Friday humor...



    Hospital humor

    A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her
    baby in
    the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
    lady's
    dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that
    there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
    Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
    ____________________________________________________
    At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
    and
    slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths,"
    I
    instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.
    Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
    ____________________________________________________
    One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
    her
    husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than
    five
    minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that
    he
    had died of a "massive internal fart."
    Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
    ____________________________________________________
    I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity
    test.
    I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover
    your
    right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now
    your
    left."
    Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence.
    He
    couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and
    discovered
    that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there
    with
    both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
    Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
    ____________________________________________________
    During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
    cardiologist,
    he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of
    his
    medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to
    put
    on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to
    put it!"
    I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't
    see...
    Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the
    instructions
    include
    removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
    Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
    ____________________________________________________
    While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How
    long
    have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
    answered..."Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was
    alive."
    Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
    ____________________________________________________
    A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with
    purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
    tattoos,
    and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined
    that the
    patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate
    surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,
    the
    staff noticed that the pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it
    there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the
    surgery was
    completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's
    dressing,
    which said "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
    ____________________________________________________
    I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your
    breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky
    Jelly. I
    can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then
    asked to
    see
    the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
    Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI



    -=-=-=-=-

    Hope you enjoyed this... Have a great weekend everyone!

  2. #2
    Miami Nice!
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    Talking Jazzcom

    [FONT=arial]
    The Queen thanks you!!!

    Especially since it's a lousy weekend here in Miami... just when I planned a Luau B-day party for my daughter, rented a hotel in Ft. Lauderdale and have spent over $600 already!!!

    Thanks for the laughs!!!
    [/FONT]

  3. #3
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    Default

    Happy birthday to your daughter and I wish you a day of survival

    Regards

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