If you - your ts and ' your is, why not ~ your ?s?

For the non-initiated the ? seems like an unimportant letter, very far from the truth. The very name of the language wouldn't be the same without this, at times forgotten letter. Espa?a, the cradle of Espa?ol would have a silly name if we simply forget to put the ~ (called tilde in Spanish) on top of the n.

Important words like co?o --of even more importance in Spain-- would lose its wicked meaning and become an innocent word, that is totally useless as an insult, by virtue of becoming a geometrical figure. Or how about the sweet ca?a, to which our country owes so much? It turns into something totally inedible, and only useful for roofing, by a simple stroke of the eraser.

Forget the ? and pi?a will cease to be a fruit and become a common surname, pe?a will not be a rock but a sorrow, and a cu?a will not get you out of trouble, unless you just had a baby. Without this unique letter mo?o stops being the cute bow on a gift box and becomes a chimp; but it reaches catastrophic proportions when you forget it in wishing someone feliz cumplea?os.

Be nice to the e?e, and the e?e will be nice to you.


_{Brought to you by the Society for Protection of the E?e as an Endangered Species.}

Jane, word is all editors were tortured and murdered during the Trujillo Era. I suspect that there's a law that banned them from the country. How else would we have the stupidest mistakes on ALL newspapers?

Dear NoMoreSnow,

We at the Society for Protection of the E?e as an Endangered Species are honored to learn that you are interested in joining us. Our society strives in its pursue of humane treatment for our little friend the e?e.

The e?e, which biologists believe belong to the same family as the Emus, once roamed free, its importance known to the original speakers of the language. Today it has fallen victim to ignorance and careless typing. Poachers hunt the e?e for its ~, its use unknown since no other letter needs it.

Please send your check for US$75.00 to the address we will provide you and you will receive our splendiferous Membership Certificate. Thank you for your interest in the protection of the wild life.

C'mon Bugsey

You are ruining the business! I checked the website of the Real Academia before posting the OP, there I learnt that ? and ~ had the same name in Spanish (I knew about ?).

Special Spanish characters:
? -- ? -- ? -- ?-- ? -- ? -- ? -- ? -- ? -- ? -- ?


Edited to add:
If they do as you say and put an ? where the ~ is they would be unfair. Next thing the French, the Germans, the Danes and just about everybody will be demanding that they put their weird characters in the English keyboard. We can't put them together without ending up wiht a keyboard that looks like a piano. The Spanish keyboard has the ? where the English has the semicolon.

Re: It isn't hard.

[B]Hillbilly[/B] said:

I hate "el"" y "la" ! Los y las!! Pox on them! I like "the" the all inclusive article....

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Heresy!

You want a freaking Spanish lesson in 500 words?!

C'mon Jim, I don't do THAT for free

Ok, I am not qualified to teach Spanish, being that I am still learning. An easy language it isn't, the grammar is a bitch.

[B]Jim Hinsch[/b] said:

Can someone please post the general rules for El and La?

I'm always asking stuff like "Cual es: El Mar o La Mar, El Ley o La Ley, Cuantas Cervezas - Uno or Una?" and my darn Dominican friends always miss what I'm trying to ask. Is it La Mano Frio or La Mano Fria (does the adjective follow the rule even if the definite article is an exception)?

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The article should be the same gender as the noun. As a general rule that I just made up, most nouns ending in a are feminine whereas most nouns ending in o are masculine.

^{For example:
La jarra
El vaso}

The most noted exception is agua, which is feminine, but since its first letter is an a it would sound bad with the article la (cachophony). In this case the article el is used, but agua remains a feminine noun, so the adjetive acompanying agua should also be in the feminine form.

^{For example:
El agua est? fr?a.}

Nouns not ending in either a or o you have to learn case by case.

^{La ley
La cerveza
El mar
La mano (another exception)}

A short note on el: This is an article, singular, masculine. The pronoun, equivalent to the English he is ?l. Please notice the difference. It IS important.

When I say "Buenos" as short for Buenos Dias, why does the girl in reception answer "Buenas"?

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Buenas is equivalent to the English "Hi". The correct way is Buenos d?as/buenas tardes/buenas noches

How does one distinguish between we write (often used to mean we WILL write) and we wrote (or any other IR verb)?

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Verbs in the infinitive form in Spanish all end in ar, er, and ir. This is the tour de force in Spanish, because unlike English the verb changes when the tense/gender/pronoun changes. Just one verb will take a couple of pages to list all its forms (present, future, past, past participle, conditional, etc.). This is where a book or a teacher comes handy. BTW, escribir is a regular verb, that is supposed to make it easier. Yeah, right!

What about all those varieties of pico? Every menu seems to use a different version for comination plate.

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Pico: beak, peak or slang for "and then some more". I don't see its relation to a menu.

What is the proper way to say "Medium Rare" (I've been using "bien rojo" - or should I be saying roja)?

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T?rmino medio, as opposed to bien cocido (well done).

How about the other subtle and often misused stuff. Este/Esto/Esta, Le/La/Lo, Subjunctive (Quiero que tu sepas), ...

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In the next lesson I will explain that, and how to use the verbs estar and ser. Now send me money.




edited to correct my own stupid grammatical errors

Who appointed me the Spanish Expert?

[B]Porfio_Rubirosa[/B] said:

What does the Academy say about the letter "Y"? Like in "Neyba" or "El Seybo".

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Neyba and Seybo are Taino names. You cannot apply the Spanish grammar rules to a "foreign" name.

_{My best shot at it}