This is a joke, in fact rather an old one. But what follows is a DR government joke on us.
TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture
Washington, D.C.
Dear Sir;
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells Iowa, received a check for
$1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into
the "not raising hogs" business next year.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of
farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to
raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with
all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but
if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not
raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an
accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business.
He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever
made on them was $422 in 1968, until this year when he got your check
for $1000 for not raising hogs.
If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2000 for not
raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding
myself down to about 4000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000
the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.
Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000
bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising
corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and
corn not to feed the 4000 hogs I am not going to raise?
Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me
any information you have on that too.
In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally
unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.
Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.
Patriotically Yours,
Dogbyte
P.S. Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free
cheese.
.__________________________.
Okey, you might have laughed. But yesterday all the copies of the Listin Diario, our largest local daily, contained a 96 page Supplement that, to me and any other 'thinker', must constitute perhaps the most blatant piece of corruption and government largesse in the history of Dominican politics. Rivaled only by the giveaway done by Gen. Cuervo G?mez back in '86, when he gave all officials of Major or above, a new car!! Irony? History?
The Suppliment was ordered by INDOTEL, the Dominican Telecommunications Institute, whose director is none other than Orlando Jorge Mera, son of ex-president and well know corrupt leader of the PRD Salvador Jorge Blanco, who, along with General Cuervo G?mez and others of their ilk were processed for corruption as soon as they were out of office....There is not a real Dominican alive today that lived back then that does not recognize these facts.
A 96 page supplement to tell us about??? THE NATIONAL PLAN FOR ASSIGNING FREQUENCIES!!!!!!!!!! In the immortal words of Criss: WTF??? 50,000 or 60,000 or 100,000 copies of something that can only be used in the letrine out in back of the Hillbilly Hovel??? Not only WTF, but WGAF??
Did any of you locals read it? Do you even know of anybody that must read it??? No? Gee whiz!
Well Ram?n B?ez Figueroa just made a bundle for providing toilet paper for every campesino with a friend who gets the LISTIN DIARIO....96 printed pages of government speak, absolutely useless newsprint!! Wonder what party he backed in the elections? Don't even bother...
Honestly, in 40 years, with the exception of Cuervo G?mez' play I have never seen anything close to this crap!!!
Ranting over.
HB, really pissed.......
TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture
Washington, D.C.
Dear Sir;
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells Iowa, received a check for
$1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into
the "not raising hogs" business next year.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of
farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to
raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with
all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but
if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not
raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an
accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business.
He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever
made on them was $422 in 1968, until this year when he got your check
for $1000 for not raising hogs.
If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2000 for not
raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding
myself down to about 4000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000
the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.
Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000
bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising
corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and
corn not to feed the 4000 hogs I am not going to raise?
Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me
any information you have on that too.
In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally
unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.
Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.
Patriotically Yours,
Dogbyte
P.S. Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free
cheese.
.__________________________.
Okey, you might have laughed. But yesterday all the copies of the Listin Diario, our largest local daily, contained a 96 page Supplement that, to me and any other 'thinker', must constitute perhaps the most blatant piece of corruption and government largesse in the history of Dominican politics. Rivaled only by the giveaway done by Gen. Cuervo G?mez back in '86, when he gave all officials of Major or above, a new car!! Irony? History?
The Suppliment was ordered by INDOTEL, the Dominican Telecommunications Institute, whose director is none other than Orlando Jorge Mera, son of ex-president and well know corrupt leader of the PRD Salvador Jorge Blanco, who, along with General Cuervo G?mez and others of their ilk were processed for corruption as soon as they were out of office....There is not a real Dominican alive today that lived back then that does not recognize these facts.
A 96 page supplement to tell us about??? THE NATIONAL PLAN FOR ASSIGNING FREQUENCIES!!!!!!!!!! In the immortal words of Criss: WTF??? 50,000 or 60,000 or 100,000 copies of something that can only be used in the letrine out in back of the Hillbilly Hovel??? Not only WTF, but WGAF??
Did any of you locals read it? Do you even know of anybody that must read it??? No? Gee whiz!
Well Ram?n B?ez Figueroa just made a bundle for providing toilet paper for every campesino with a friend who gets the LISTIN DIARIO....96 printed pages of government speak, absolutely useless newsprint!! Wonder what party he backed in the elections? Don't even bother...
Honestly, in 40 years, with the exception of Cuervo G?mez' play I have never seen anything close to this crap!!!
Ranting over.
HB, really pissed.......
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