Septic Tank Truck sign reads:

"We're #1 in the #2 business".

a..Sign over a gynecologist's office:
b. "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

a.. At a military hospital-door to endoscopies:
b. "To expedite your visit please back in"

a..On a Plumbers truck:
b. "We repair what your husband fixed."

a.. On the trucks of a local plumbing company
b. "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

a.. Pizza shop slogan:
b. "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

a.. At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
b. "Invite us to your next blowout."

a.. Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
b. "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a laundry shop:

"How about we refund your money, send you a new
one at no charge, close the store and have the
manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

a.. At a towing company:
b. "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

a.. On an electrician's truck:
b "Let us remove your shorts."

a.. In a non-smoking area:
b. "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and
take appropriate action."

a.. On a maternity room door:
b. "Push. Push. Push."

a.. At an optometrist's office:
b. "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've
come to the right place."

a.. On a taxidermist's window:
b. "We really know our stuff."

a.. In a podiatrist's office:
b. "Time wounds all heels."

a.. On a fence:
b. "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."