Things women say

FINE ~ This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel
we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe
how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES ~ This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the
trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING ~ If you ask her what is wrong and she says NOTHING, this means
something and you should be on your toes. NOTHING is usually used to
describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,
upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
will last FIVE MINUTES and end with the word FINE.

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) ~ This is a dare. One that will result
in a woman getting upset over NOTHING and will end with the word FINE.

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows) ~ This means "I give up" or "do what you want
because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just
a few minutes, followed by NOTHING and FINE and she will talk to you in
about FIVE MINUTES when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH ~ This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you
are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over NOTHING.

SOFT SIGH ~ Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are
one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content.
Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY ~ This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman
can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and
hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have
done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in
conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." At some point in the near
future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some
mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO ~ This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving
you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for
doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell
the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS ~ A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say "you're
welcome."

THANKS A LOT ~ This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say,
"Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that
you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud
Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she
will only tell you "Nothing."
 

Musicqueen

Miami Nice!
Jan 31, 2002
2,252
4
0
Wud... I knew you understood us!!! If anyone wud "Wud" wud...lol!!!

Thanks!...for NOTHING!!!
 

Bugsey34

Bronze
Feb 15, 2002
567
0
0
Men should take careful note! These are all very true statements. This should not be in the joke section, but rather the mars and venus one. Maybe these guys would understand something for once! :cool:
 

Keith&Cris

New member
Aug 22, 2002
167
0
0
www.keithbroad.com
After having lived with (okay "in sin") with three women, and having gone through two divorces and three marriages, I'm happy to report that I now fully understand everything there is to understand about women. And I will now give you the secret ....
you see, you must .... eck! You have to .... ecckkk. In order to fully underst... eccckkkkkgggghhhhh.... gasp, (clutching heart) gasp ....ehhhhhh.....