Friday Cop Humor

mainer

New member
Mar 22, 2002
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Caught for speeding

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding,
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

???????????

Stuck under a bridge

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads
"low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and
he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a
police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

???????????

The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and
one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in,
sir. You're obviously drunk"

The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a
cripple."

???????????

Dealing with trouble

A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The
"disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost
300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad
Ali too.

Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist-probably
better than Houdini."

The giant nodded.

"If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong
you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see
just how quickly you can break out of them?"

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I
can't get out of these," the giant growled.

"Are you sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he
replied. "I can't do it."

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."

???????????

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and
walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.

"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.

"I'm going to a lecture." The man said.

"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.

"My wife," said the man.