MQ aint no blonde!~

Escott

Gold
Jan 14, 2002
7,716
6
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www.escottinsosua.blogspot.com
OVERWEIGHT BLONDE

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat
this procedure for two weeks.
The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds.

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you
follow my instructions?"

The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought

I was going to drop dead by the third day. "From hunger, you mean?"
asked the doctor.

"No, from all that skipping."
______________________
RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a
river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river then shouts back, "You are on the other side."
_____________________

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned
on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER! "NO," the blonde yelled back,
"IT'S A SCARF!"
________________
BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We
were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to
be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads.

"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
going at night!"

_______________
SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would
get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then
today you expect me to show it to you!"
___________
 

Musicqueen

Miami Nice!
Jan 31, 2002
2,252
4
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Jazzy...how come all the joke dedications?

These were pretty funny, I must say...especially the first one!
 

Musicqueen

Miami Nice!
Jan 31, 2002
2,252
4
0
Hey, Wud...thanks!!!

I needed that...it's been kind of like a "blue" Friday...and it doesn't look like it's gonna get any better...
Tonight I'm babysitting my nephew while my sister goes to have dinner with her in-laws...
Tomorrow 6-10 a.m. on the air, from 1-3 I have a special appearance at a mall, and then ar 4 a friend's wedding...
On Sunday, another special appearance at another mall 1-3...

I NEED A LIFE!!! Could someone start a "Musicqueen move to the DR Fund" or something like that?

I'll appreciate all the help! Thanks!;)