After reading a few threads I have learnt a lot. Thought I would ask some folks here for advise. My case is a little different but a lot of similarity with the rest.
a) I first came to DR on biz in '98, was alone and in a high stress work, met this girl at a bar. Exceptionally good looking and slightly crazy. I approached her, kept getting rejected for a long time but you would know what kind of persistence I have! She was 20 and me 27 then. But still it was some form of company when I did not know anyone, am not white and only spoke very little spanish.
b) She does come from a poor family background (been to her home a few times) and has 4 younger sisters at home. Incidently I do not come from 1st world country unlike most of you I had to REALLY struggle through my life. Trust me, I have seen worse than DR. Good scholarship, intelligence and education made me, before coming to DR I had spent 3 yrs working in the US. So I have seen and can empathize with her and also know 1st world well. Suffice to say; have been to all 1st world countries.
c) After consistent rejects and in confusion, I get married to an old friend of mine in '99 who I really love now. She is a MD and currently 26yrs. Beautiful, intelligent and professional.
d) Later in '01 she somehow got back in touch with me, meanwhile she had married a Domincan ('00) and divorced. It lasted for 3 months. Some guy I don't know but she complained about not being treated well. My instinct told me to listen her out since she used to help me out emotionally during hard times in '98. Somehow, I agreed to help her as a friend and monetarily since she needed some help, I promised to get her on her feet, she is now learning english/computers etc.
e) Meanwhile, after several yrs of efforts now I have a successful biz, and due to economic reasons have to move most of the operations out of DR hence no possibility of staying there for any extended period. I want her to get quickly on her feet but it somehow feels that she is kind of fallen for me (or makes me think that way) and does not seem to be working hard enough. I have never ever slept with her (my culture is different!) though she is exceptionally attractive and thinks I am out of my mind.
f) Incidently, I am a self made guy with net worth in 8 digits in $s. I have been giving her $1K per month for her studies, knowing the difficulties I went through I thought it was important to give a proper opportunity for someone to make it in life. I am not flashy kinds, a very ordinary person who does not suffer from new-money syndrome. I am in some ways too cheap (moneywise). I am also not white either.
g) I often wonder she does not have sense for money. Why would one spend so much on being flashy when it is more important to think long term. Incidently I don't have a car in DR and use the taxis (yellow tourist ones), while I got her a car to goto school (stupid me!). Her english after 1 yr is not good enough.
Was wondering:
1) Any thoughts how I approach the issue of making her independent in long run. No point giving money for life, I want her to earn it herself (no sex please).
2) I have given up trying to understand the Domincan culture, though most of the things that people do are logical but not with a long term thinking.
3) I have a major dilemma, the money I spend her can get several kids in educated anywhere else. But I don't know whether she would understand, it would make her really vulnerable for sure.
a) I first came to DR on biz in '98, was alone and in a high stress work, met this girl at a bar. Exceptionally good looking and slightly crazy. I approached her, kept getting rejected for a long time but you would know what kind of persistence I have! She was 20 and me 27 then. But still it was some form of company when I did not know anyone, am not white and only spoke very little spanish.
b) She does come from a poor family background (been to her home a few times) and has 4 younger sisters at home. Incidently I do not come from 1st world country unlike most of you I had to REALLY struggle through my life. Trust me, I have seen worse than DR. Good scholarship, intelligence and education made me, before coming to DR I had spent 3 yrs working in the US. So I have seen and can empathize with her and also know 1st world well. Suffice to say; have been to all 1st world countries.
c) After consistent rejects and in confusion, I get married to an old friend of mine in '99 who I really love now. She is a MD and currently 26yrs. Beautiful, intelligent and professional.
d) Later in '01 she somehow got back in touch with me, meanwhile she had married a Domincan ('00) and divorced. It lasted for 3 months. Some guy I don't know but she complained about not being treated well. My instinct told me to listen her out since she used to help me out emotionally during hard times in '98. Somehow, I agreed to help her as a friend and monetarily since she needed some help, I promised to get her on her feet, she is now learning english/computers etc.
e) Meanwhile, after several yrs of efforts now I have a successful biz, and due to economic reasons have to move most of the operations out of DR hence no possibility of staying there for any extended period. I want her to get quickly on her feet but it somehow feels that she is kind of fallen for me (or makes me think that way) and does not seem to be working hard enough. I have never ever slept with her (my culture is different!) though she is exceptionally attractive and thinks I am out of my mind.
f) Incidently, I am a self made guy with net worth in 8 digits in $s. I have been giving her $1K per month for her studies, knowing the difficulties I went through I thought it was important to give a proper opportunity for someone to make it in life. I am not flashy kinds, a very ordinary person who does not suffer from new-money syndrome. I am in some ways too cheap (moneywise). I am also not white either.
g) I often wonder she does not have sense for money. Why would one spend so much on being flashy when it is more important to think long term. Incidently I don't have a car in DR and use the taxis (yellow tourist ones), while I got her a car to goto school (stupid me!). Her english after 1 yr is not good enough.
Was wondering:
1) Any thoughts how I approach the issue of making her independent in long run. No point giving money for life, I want her to earn it herself (no sex please).
2) I have given up trying to understand the Domincan culture, though most of the things that people do are logical but not with a long term thinking.
3) I have a major dilemma, the money I spend her can get several kids in educated anywhere else. But I don't know whether she would understand, it would make her really vulnerable for sure.