I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the
back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from
his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for
cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the
matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me
and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a
headache next morning."
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard
the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that
proper burial should be performed, they had
secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for
the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what
he thought his father always said:
"Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn..... and into the hole he
gooooes."
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and
they won't let me talk!"
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there,
dear"? With astonishment
in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear......
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the
back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from
his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for
cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the
matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me
and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a
headache next morning."
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard
the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that
proper burial should be performed, they had
secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for
the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what
he thought his father always said:
"Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn..... and into the hole he
gooooes."
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and
they won't let me talk!"
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there,
dear"? With astonishment
in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear......